february 16, 2012 is a date i will never forget, at least not in a hurry,that was the day i f—-d,licked,fingered and play with aunty lady gaga’s p—y….
that day was one of the most memorable days of my life,it was a day that i was very happy of, my journey to aunty lady gaga’s tooto started thus…..

***good morning mr man
good morning mum
***how are you doing?
as you can see am fine
***so am now the one to wake you up?mkpmmm!!!
no mum, is just that am weak and tierd
***what have you done that makes you to be weak?
never mind it’s along story,let leave it for another day.

I left her there and rush into the bathroom,pick up my brush, brush my teeth,and do some things needed to keep my self clean and went back to my room,suprisnly i saw my mum tidying up my room and i try to stop her but she refused and ordered me to go downstairs and take my breakfast and prepare for my ssce/Waec lesson.. ..
facts about mum
mum is a very kind woman,she cares for her family,she never let you go without advising you and share the word of God with you ad pray together, she cry a lot and she is a woman that fight to see that you are felling fine{i wonder how she showered daddy with love during there days and now}
i followed her instruction and went downstairs,as i was stepping down a voice from another angle echoed and my name was vocked by the person, to my suprise it’s my sister, wow she is back form schoo(university)..


She come closer and we hugged ,we exchange greetings and have a little conversation,then i left.
I had my breakfast and went upstairs…
facts about my sister
my sister is a very nice person,she understand things easily, and she is a very coded lady,she knows every step you take but what she hate is *lies*

i entered my room take my bath and i went off for my lesson with the little change mum kept for me…..

[nextpage title=”Episode 2″]

as i was going to lesson i saw my manest man{tiger} coming to check of me but am already on my way and we greeted, as man do great man.
*what i like most about this my guy is that he has no fear and he like woman and he is a rugged man*

we scroll down to the bus stop,with the conversation at hand about sunday’s hang out, we waited for bus but to our greatest suprise no bus to be found, and we manage to enter bike.
As we stoped at the school gate and entered inside we saw babe’s lined up as if that they are been sold like tomatoes at ogboye market. I looked at tiger and he looked at me and called my worst name, then we started fighting down to the lesson block,we greeted all the lined up tomatoes, and tiger picked up his gal and went inside the lesson class, me i have no girlfriend so i love looking at those who have especially when they make love,i was looking at tiger when he was kissing his girl and tiger slaped me so i should keep of my eyes from them…. If wishes come true easily, i mean at that moment, i would have kill tiger at that moment and have my own slap back to him..
We entered into the classroom,as usual you know as im dey be,all men with his damsel, but there is this guy, by name BIG CASSAVA, he was kissing and grabbing his babe like say he was eating akara and bread…
We sat down and we started discussing and a munite later all the girls went outside like say person ring bell for them to come out…
All men gather and here comes different gists and lies with insults….some minutes later our teacher stoped into the class and all ladies and men that were outside dashed into the hall for the lecture… as the teacher stoped in with my eyes on her i guess she is new into this miracle center,i said to myself….she wrote on the board **government*** some of the student left the clas, i mean science students… The teacher understand what happens and kept quite for them to leave. Now she started her introduction and ended it with a writhing on the board *naturalism*
she was explaining and giving lectures about the topic and am busy looking at her and OMG miss chioma is very beautiful, sexy and with a sexy voice that melts my heart and am sure she is not putting on pant, as i was busy thinking of this silly thing a girl beside me mistakenly touch me and i have myself back, immediately the teacher asked me a question,
*whats your name handsome?
I was shocked, this teacher called me handsome, Nawa ooo you don cause wahala by calling me such thing, what nobody have called me before
trust me instead of telling her my real name i told her my pet name which my mum do call me.
*my name is dum dum
As a senior class they all compot themselves and added a little sugar in it.
Wow dum dum what have you been thinking all this while?
Me!! Thinking kwa, am not thinking
***well what is naturalism
as the guy man i be, i saw it in my neighbour’s book(remember am standing) and i answered it and i sat down. She thought for 40mins and left the class with my eyes on her.

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I tried my best and I successfully meet the teacher and I had conversation with her but what’s confusing me is that she kept on calling me handsome….. We discussed for some minutes and as i dropped a dirty conversation to keep my bike riding, unfortunately call came into her phone……
Hello sweetheart, how you doing?
I left…… Nobody need to tell me that I should leave….. That was her boo, so my plans have failed, I have to be quite but she still calls into my mind sometime……

It was 2.. O’clock pm
The lesson is now over, we all were on our way home, as we are trekking, we are about five boys, when I say boys I mean heavy ones like emergencia, while going a girl called me and I turned back to know who called me, it was the girl that sat next beside me at the lesson hall and I stopped to know why she distracted me from the lies am hearing from my friends…….
Kossi***hi, how you doing dum dum
Me***am fine(smile)
Kossi***why are you smiling
Me***what did you call me?
Kossi***dum dum
Me***that’s my pet name
Kossi***wow nice name
Me***thanks, so why are you calling me?
Kossi***hmmmmm, what were you thinking?
Me***never mind and is that you are calling me?
Me***then what
Kossi***guy take am easy nah, are we quarreling?
Me***is just that I need to meet my friends
Kossi***okay,,, emmmm chinedum, there is this thing disturbing me and I can’t keep it to myself anymore…..
Me***am sorry, what’s that
Kossi***chinedum, I I I I I don’t know what will be your actions if I tell you, maybe you will be mad at me.
Me***come on, tell me, I won’t do such okay
Kossi***okay, can you help me with the assignment?
Me***how much will you pay me?
Kossi***I don’t have money
Me***then forget about it ***I walked fast and she ran after me
Kossi***okay, I will give you #1000
Me***am I a begger, #1000 for what, to polish my shoe or to barb my hair?
Kossi***but that’s what am with ***she now looks like someone who is dying of pains…..
Me***okay can I have it

She gave me the money and her assignment book and left.
But before i could catch up with my friends, two have left and one about to leave.. Triger and ebuka was the people I scroll down a little bit before I reached my house.. They asked me what happened and I narrated all to them and they say make we share the money, I laughed and laughed, as a guy man I closed the topic with that laugh immediately……..

I reached home around 3.30 pm
No one could be found, no light, you know Nepa people too they f–k up…. I went straight to the kitchen and what I found their was an empty pot with indomine inside it and I also have to the cooking myself…….
I ate the food and went out to catch up with my friends at the next street, as i was going, I saw some men, about 3 of them smoking and drinking, I tried to act codedly and escape them but they are all my friends then I decided to greet them…. I reached there and greeted them immediately……
Weed man***abobby how far?
Me***things bam wella and you?
Weed man***as you can see, I’m be like you own
Me***abiiiii…… You just dey put yourself in order
Wedman***na so nah, but my guy I dey hungry, you know say if I finish this weed I no get anything to smag, abeg find me some rubbers make I use smag after this assignment we I dey do, abeg no how no how….
Me***abiiiii, I put my hand inside my pocket and brought out #200 and #500 and I gave him #200 and greeted him and left…….

You know say if you no give him or you f–k up by not coding yourself, you self go loose everything way carry they Walker that moment, so you have to respect yourself wella and give him the rubbers……….

[nextpage title=”Episode 4″]

The next day, I wake up very early in the morning and I did my morning duties and eat my breakfast with my sister and she gist me about school and her boyfriend with others….
After the breakfast, I went upstairs, Take my bath and dress up for the lesson….. While am stepping downstairs she sight me form the sitting room and said smart bro with swag bag…… I looked at myself and Said with this rags am putting on……
I was wearing white sweater, blue short, black socks, black shoe, blue and black cap and with my school bag at my back
She laughs and give me a good-bye kiss…….
I left the house that day, with no problem or quarreling with anyone until I reached my lesson center.
I met kossi, she was the first to welcome me and she asked for her assignment and I let her have it with her #1000 and I informed her that I won’t write her assignment for her again and she left with her face full of joy……. I wonder why she is not crying this time……
I went straight to my guys at our usual spot.

Me***big boys, how far nah
Some of them responded to my greeting while some kept quite…..
Me***how im they be nah, this one una dey lonely e b like say una girl never come.?
Yet no respond……… I kept quite and make myself comfortable with my phone……
Some minutes later I called trigger…….
Me***guy how far, wia u dey
Trigger***at Nkpor junction
Me***how come
Trigger***I went to your house and they say u don comot
Me***okay nah I dey wait
Trigger***but guy wait nah so u dey do?
Me***nah wetin happen
Trigger***so my angel come back you no tell me mmmm?
Me***who be your angel?
Trigger***your sister nah
Me***make thunder way no get mama and papa strike you Dia, idiot
Trigger*** (laughs) how my babe she don come?
Me*** ur mama, nah me be her ex court, wait ooh, which time did Dat one start, shaii I don suffer*hang up*

Five minutes later
Trigger***make way make way make way(shouting it continuously)
Everyone begin they laugh
Me***una Don see where buhari they walk im go dey shout make way for im self(laugh)
Trigger***no mind am na jealousy way they worry am
Me***wait ooooooooo, trigger do you know say if you and danger enter for for room and una they there for comfarm 3 days, I swear una go turn to Oracle….
Trigger***idiot, you Sabi anything,
Me***oo make im be, na your Mata, no, you beta go for that corner you go see Isabella, go there and meet her, I’m don taay we she dey wait for you, so use that opportunity and tear her pant as you take that do… (all laughs) surprisingly a heavy slap land for my face(gbowaiiii) I turned to see who it was…………..

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Unfortunately, they were two standing before me and I can’t tell who slapped me but looking at adaeze(Isabella’s good friend) and Isabella were looking at me without laughing and their face full of anger…… I was confused and I don’t know what to do, whether to slap back or leave them but I tried to react but where will you start, who will you slap or shout at…… This was the question running through my head before ebuka started shouting at adaeze…..
Adaeze was guilty of slapping me and I can’t believe that she could do such thing but she have showed me that she can…….
After some minutes of silent and shouting at adaeze and Isabella, we started asking her why she did that and she started her confession, she said that why will I put her girlfriend’s name in our discussion and why will I insult her girlfriend boo….
Me***whaaaaat***** as she was saying that I felt annoyed and I was ashamed of myself…..
Me***see trigger you are the course of all this and nobody should stop me from acting and showing this girls my colour…..

I rushed them with all the anger in me to crush them but still on still they disobey my command….. Trigger got annoyed and started shouting at adaeze and Isabella his babe before they left my presence…….

Ebuka ***guy nawa ooo, so if them leave you you got go slap or touch those girls?
Me***no tell me that kind thing, if nah you nko?
Ebuka ***I go fashy them
Me***na you no be me…. Me and you no dey do de same thing….
Danger***guy so adaeze slap you you come here come dey pasmaga abii?
Me***thunder fire you dia
Danger***no insult me ooo
Me***your mama
Danger***e don do…. Over, girl slap you you no talk, you come they ginger me over ooooooooo….
Me***shey you talk say e don do, why you still come dey echo that Mata again?
Austin ***Emm chinedum abiiiii nah dum dum, guy see make I tell you, leave danger you know say nah bad guy im be and im they like fight but im no go fight….
Frank***nah true danger dey talk, I support am
Ebuka***bia see if una no stop dis nonsense mua personally go scatter una Nana….
Everywhere was silent after ebuka’s last statement……..

Not less than 10mins later, Trigger later came in to where we are and he called me by the conner and pleaded on behalf of his babe and adaeze…. He talked to me as a man and as my manest man I accepted the apology and we all were now together, cracking jokes and confessing our sins with insults….

10 minutes later, adaeze came to where we are and kneeled down in front of me and pleaded for what she have done, I made her to disobey the law of gravity and then let her know that I have forgiven her…..

My secondary school days were unforgettable and was sweet, lovely, and funny……

I love school more than any other thing but I can’t go back to secondary school again, I missed my friends both the female and the male ones immediately after the graduation ceremony and I love being with my friends especially the bad ones, I had no girlfriend during my school period but I tried one when I was in ss3……it was wonderful, sharing,caring, sweet and others….. Then I later moved on with the life………..