[STORY] The Confessions Of A Teenager – (Episode 1 – 8)

EPISODE 1
My name is johnpaul.You may be
wondering why i want to take my life
to end it all.yes,i have made up my
mind to take my life,to be free.
To be
free from everything. The pains and the shame.
Some certain
circumstances in this world has made
me a changed person.
A changed
person on the evil side.
I am going to tell you how it all began.
My problem began the day my father brought
home a fourteen-inch
television
set, and a video
disc player that was silver
coloured. I was ten years old, about leaving
primary
school.I was happy,knowing
that we now have a television
in our house,though my father
didn’t allow us watch the television most of the time.
“go inside and read your
books”he always said.
I once heard kenneth whisper
to kelvin”he would soon leave
for one of his business trip.we shall see if he will carry the
television with him”
Our father returned from a
business trip only a month ago
and everyone knew he would
soon embark on another business trip.
I wondered when
he would put and end to those
business trips of his
.
After dad left for his business
trips we were
already used to, the two pieces of electronics
became Kenneth’s property.
He
was the first child
of the family. He knew how to
operate the TV and
VCD-player so well as though he
worked in the
factory where they were
manufactured.
In no time,
Kenneth and Kelvin who is also
my elder brother, started bringing
home movies which
were mostly Hollywood movies
we commonly
called “American films.”
After dinner every evening, they
would slot the
disc in and we all would sit
down
and watch the
pictures on the screen like faithful believers
listening to the pastor.
Only
Kenneth, Kelvin and
Osarugue, my only elder sister,
sat on the dirty
brown sofas we had then. The rest of us pinned our soft
buttocks to the hard floor.
……………
But i never knew what was coming my
way.
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EPISODE 2
I have seven siblings from two
mothers and one
father. My father married my
stepmother after my
mother was unable to give birth
to a child after six years of marriage. As if controlled
by some external spirit, my
mother
took in few months after my
stepmother was
brought home by my father. However, my
stepmother was already
pregnant. Kenneth my
eldest brother was born by my
stepmother before
Osarugue, my sister, was born.
Kelvin came next from my
stepmother’s womb,
and then I did from my mother’s.
My mother took
over the baton completely by
giving birth to two other children -Victory and Nosa-
giving her a
perfect number of two males and
two females. My
stepmother balanced the
equation by giving birth to a set of female twin twelve years after
I was
born. Father was hardly ever at
home while I was
growing up, and even up till
now, he is rarely at home. He spent more time away
doing business
than taking care of us at home.life was
sweet. Really sweet,playing with my brothers
and sisters.
People said polygamous homes are not
peaceful but our own home broke that
theory.We lived in peace that strangers
can never notice the home was polygamous.
They always allowed us
play anything we wanted to.They
never had time to follow us around or
spy on us since they were always busy
breaking melon and should i say
gossiping. Our father
only spent four
days in a month with us, until
recently he
increased it to six days. He claims
he is doing his best to ensure we have a good life.
I never had time to be
with my dad,to know and learn things
from him,just like other children. I
appreciate
his efforts though, but it is unwise to
shop a shoe for a foot that has been cut off from
the body.
From one movie to
another, the TV became
irresistible. Sometimes, we would
watch movies up till midnight before my
stepmother would send
us out of the living room like
tenants owing rent. ……..
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EPISODE 3
We never got tired of watching the
television
except maybe
when ‘Mr Sleep’ came calling; and
we never
stopped cursing the National Electric Power
Authority(NEPA) whenever they
put a period in our
adventure by cutting power
supply.
I enjoyed the movies so much and was fascinated
by almost everything in the
movie: the enchanting
voices of the actors, the perfectly-
made faces of
the actresses, the action, and of course, the
scenes where the actors and
actresses kissed,
and the rare sex scenes.
Although I was just a ten-year-
old kid, I enjoyed the sex scenes so much and
always looked
forward to them.
A movie where
the actors and
actresses never kissed or made
love ended up
very disappointing to me. I knew
it was wrong for me to enjoy such a
pleasure, but I could not bear th e
pain of not
savoring it. I always pretended to
look away or
cover my eyes when such scenes were on scenes
were on just to make my elder
ones believe I was
still a good boy, but I had a way
of still seeing what was going on
on the TV screen. I always wondered why my elder siblings
never fast-
forwarded those scenes, or
removed the movie
completely since they hammered
always that such scenes were not good for our
viewing.
Day after day, viewing
such scenes in several
movies, I could not help but get
overwhelmed with
the unclothedness of total strangers. My mothers
never knew the kind of movies
we fed our virgin
eyes with. They spent their
evenings peeling
melon seeds and gossiping.
Whenever I got to be alone in the
house, I would slot in the disc
just like Kenneth always did and
would speed it up to the scenes
where the actors and actresses
kissed or made love. It was not difficult learning how to use the
remote control. I would mute the
TV, sit close to it and bath in the
pleasure emanating from the
scene into my body. It was
enthralling then, but now I have realized that I was feeding myself
with a poisoned chalice.
So, as every day passed by, I
could not stop thinking of people
making love.
Every night on the
cold mat I slept then in my mother’s room, the Unclad
bodies of those I bad seen in the
movies would run through my
mind and I wanted more daily.
I remained a good boy to
everyone, but I was healing dirt deep within. Even while in class, I
was always thinking about the
sex scenes in the movie of the
previous night. Unclad pictures
were running through my mind
all the time. I knew I was into a deep mess,
but I loved it. If I had known then
that a little leaven leavens the
whole lump, I would never have
smelt the leaven in the first place.
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EPISODE 4
I have been like a lizard that
wants to stop falling from the
coconut tree, but ends up
climbing the same tree over
and
over again.
I had my first encounter with
real
Indecency when I was in
Junior
Secondary School One (JSS 1).
My classmate, Buchi, was the first
in
a class of thirty students to
own
a phone.
Rumour had it that
his brother abroad sent him the
phone. It was a blue Nokia
camera phone.
Being a close friend of Buchi, I
wasted no time in befriending
his phone. I fell in love with the soccer game in the phone
because I had always loved
football.
Back in Primary School,
I was
an
addict of football although just as
a spectator. Being so thin like a
fountain pen and feeble like
pumpkin leaves, I never got the
opportunity among the big
boys in class to show to every one
that
I could teach Ronaldinho how
to
dribble pass an entire team
and score a goal without a drop of
sweat coming out of the body.
The only strength I had back
then in primary school was my
brain and nothing else. My
teachers always said I had in brains what I lacked in size.
I
always wished the opposite.
Being an intelligent student, it
was no huge task coming top
in
class, although I barely read.
Toping the class gave me a
good
fate. I did not get beaten up by
the big boys, and I did not get
to
receive lessons from the angry- looking canes of the teachers.
I
was practically exempted from
all
forms of punishments.
I carried my brain to secondary
school, so with the respect. Although Buchi prized his
phone
with the value of gold, and
allowed no fingers except his
to
touch it, I was an exception.
He always gave it to me whenever
I
asked for it. He was not doing
that because he was a nice
person. He always did that so
he could earn the right of
bombarding me with
questions
during examinations.
With the
phone in my hands, I always
had
a great time with PES soccer
game in it.
Even while a teacher was busy forcing some strange things
into
our little heads, I would be
busy
defeating Real Madrid in a
soccer game,with either chelsea or
manchester united.I loved the
way drogba always scored
goals unlike other players,so i
always positioned him at the
center foward as my favorite striker,despite having anelka
too.
“Johnpaul!!!”That was the
harsh voice of our integrated
science teacher.I quickly raised
up my head only to find all eyes on me.It then dawned on me
that he must have been calling
my name for long.I had quickly
hidden the phone inside my
thug.My thug was a thight one
and so i knew it wouldn’t fall.If he decides to search me,he
wont touch that area,except he
had other intentions.
“What were you doing?”he
asked.
I quickly stood up,holding my forehead like someone who
needed money contribution for
help.
“Sir,i have a very serious
headache”i lied,making my face
like a dying person.
Buchi knew what happened. He
gave me the “if anything
happens to my phone”look.
Our teacher pardoned
me,knowing i was a good
student. Buchi didn’t stop giving me the
phone.
This continued for
weeks until I
mistakenly entered a place in
the phone,where i
never should have entered.
[nextpage title=”episode 5″]
I entered into a folder in
Buchi’s phone that contained
different types of videos.
There
were the popular michael
jackson’s videos as well as
other videos.
I enjoyed the dance steps from
michael jackson.
I also found different movies
on the phone.
“Buchi is really enjoying o.i
wish this phone is mine”i
thought.
I continued exploring the
videos until i saw one video.I
pressed play and i started.It
was a sex video.As i watched
it,my heartbeat increased.It
was very much different from
the sex scenes on movies we
watched at home.This one
showed everything.The boy
and the girl in the video were
unclad.As i watched the video,i
felt some kind of impulse.I later
discovered the phone had
enough of such videos.
While classes were going on,i
was always busy watching
p–n movies.Atimes,iused
earphones to watch them and
when i do,i feel more pleasure
than watching it without
volume at all.
I started drifting away from my studies.I never listened to the teacher anymore because i was busy watching bad videos from Buchi’s phone.
One day,i pleaded with Buchi to give me the phone so i could take him home.I actually want to watch the sex videos very well without any disturbance from anybody.But he bluntly refused.He reminded me of how he never allowed anybody touch the phone but he always gave it to me each time i asked for it.
“Its because you are my friend.that is the reason why i do give you my phone in school”he said but i knew it was something more than that.He wouldn’t want me to pay deaf ears to his inceasant whispers during exams.I wonder if he ever read his books at all.
“Please let me take it home only for today”i pleaded again but he refused,saying he might miss an important call.Though we knew nobody would call him.
When i got home that day,my elder siblings were not at home and there was light.I was happy.I sent away my junior siblings to go and play while i switched on the television and V.C.D
I brought out the movie FORBIDDEN FRUIT and slot it in.I enjoyed the movie whenever i was alone.I fastforward the conversation places and stopped it at the place i was expecting.The love scenes.My mothers never interfered into the movies we watched.They had no time.I was enjoying the movie but my joy was short lived when i heard the voice of my elder brother around the compound.I quickly removed the movie and switched off everything.
I felt sad.It was then that the thought of stealing money to buy a phone came into my mind.I needed to own a phone so i can watch any video i wanted to watch at anytime.
That night,i sneaked into my step mother’s room to steal the (meeting) money that was under her care.She was the treasure of her age grade meeting.
I knew what i did was wrong but i already made up my mind to purchase my own phone the following day with the help of buchi.
But i never knew i was making a mistake.
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EPISODE 6
I knew it was very wrong of
me to steal the money.I knew
fully well that the money
belonged to people and i
equally knew she would suffer
for it.I counted the money in a
secret corner of the house.
It summed up N20,000.
I
smiled.I couldn’t wait to meet
up with Buchi so he could help
me get the most anticipated
phone.
I got to school very early that
morning but Buchi wasn’t in
school yet.I fidgeted as i
scanned the students trooping
in,in twos and in threes.I was
searching for Buchi.I waited in
vain that morning for him but
he was nowhere to be found.
I
was afraid of loosing the
money.Most of my classmates
were good criminals.And
moreover,i wouldn’t like any of
my teacher to find out i had
such an amount of money with
me.They must surely report me
to the school and to my
parents if they do,and that
means trouble for me.
It was after the morning
assembly that Buchi came.I
wondered why he came late.It
was unlike him.I called him
aside.
“Buchi please i need your help.I
want to buy a phone”I told
him.
He looked at me suspiciously.
“Don’t you know it requires
money?”he asked.
“I have it.i have the money with
me.let us go now”i replied.I
could read the suprise and
confusion written all over him.
“how did you get the money?”i
heard him ask.
“I have been saving it for long”i
lied.
“How much is it?”he asked.
“N20,000.i hope it will be
enough”i said.
He nodded like an agama
lizard.
We set out of the school that
morning,though classes were
on.
We took a bike down to a place
where phones were sold.
I bought buchi’s type of
phone.It cost me 16, 000.I
never knew the phone could
be that expensive.
Buchi taught me how to
transfer something from one
phone to another.He was the
first person that taught me
how to use what he called
bluetooth.I transfered all the
pornographic movies and
pictures from his phone into
my own phone.I was happy.
I
watched the s.ex videos with
great pleasure.I always hid the
phone from everybody.
I only brought it out whenever
i was in a secluded place.
Few days later,my step mother
called us all to ask if any of us
took money from her
room.Everybody said no.I had
to say no too.She was
crying,searching for the
missing money all over her
room.She explained that the
women wanted to buy new
wrappers for the august
meeting and so,they needed
the money under her care.
I felt sorry for her.I didn’t
know what the poor woman
would do.
As i watched and enjoyed the
p–n videos,i felt the urge to
try out some of those things i
have been watching.I felt an
inner power pushing me to
pratice what i have been
watching

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EPISODE 7
The urge and pressure to
practice what i see in the video
increase with each passing
hour i couldn’t it resist
anymore.
I couldn’t stand it
any more.
I was at home one certain day
when Amaka,a girl in our street
came to deliver a message to
my own mother but
unfortunately,she wasn’t
around.My elder siblings were
not around too.The junior ones
were playing outside the
compound.
“Is there any message for
her?”i asked amaka who made
to leave,since whom she came
looking for was not around.
“Don’t worry i will come back
again for her”she said.The
urge started again because i
was actually watching the
videos before she came.I felt
like grabbing her,to practice
what i have been watching
with her.As she made to leave,i
held her hand.I knew she
didn’t understand.
“what?”she asked.
I laughed”nothing”i said.
This continued happening to
me.
Three years passed and i was
thirteen.It was at this stage
that my friends taught me how
to talk to a girl to have her as a
girlfriend.
I followed every step they gave
me and got myself one.It was
with her that i started pratising
the things i do watch both on
the television and on the
phone.
I brought home pornographic
videos to watch each time i
was alone.Nobody ever
noticed.I learnt how to use the
internet.Each time i logged into
the internet,i visited site that
contained adult materials.
I became so addicted to
pornography.My brain was
filled with naked pictures.My
imaginations and
everything.My academic
performances depreciated to
the core.
I knew i was in a serious trouble.I couldn’t concentrate on anything else apart from the p–n videos.
It happened that one day in the church,i almost disgraced myself.I saw a girl who was not properly covered.She looked like one of those girls in the bad films i watch.My mind started telling me to go closer to her.I stood up and started going.I was few steps away from her when my senses came back to me.Then i realised i was in the church.Everybody was seated while i was standing.I saw pairs of eyes on me.I bent down to look at the ground as if i actually came to inspect something there.Then i went back to my seat.
The urge to have sex increased in me.I couldn’t stay a day without thinking about it.
I knew i brought this problem upon myself and i didn’t know of how to stop.I was deeply addicted and i never imagined if i can ever break free from it.
One of my major problems came like a rude shock to me the day i saw a woman dragging her daughter to our compound,shouting
“You are useless.you are a disgrace.you must show me who impregnated you today”
I Knew i was in serious trouble.It was my handwork.And to worsen everything,my mothers and siblings were around.My father too who returned few days ago was around too.
I felt like disappearing but it was too late because i saw the girl pointing at me.
“He is the one”she said
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EPISODE 8
The final episode
“He is the one”The girl said
again pointing at me.I was too
dumbfounded to speak.I
couldn’t believe this was
happening.
“He impregnated you”her
mother asked pulling her hair.
The poor girl nodded as she
cried out in pain.
I stole a glance at my father
and found him looking at
me.Other eyes were also on
me.
“Who?”i heard myself ask
chika,the girl in question.
“You you.you did it.that day
you took me to the bush close
to the school”Chika explained
firmly.
I was so ashamed of myself.I
knew she was telling the truth
but i must never admit it.
“what is going on here?”my
father asked asked harshly as if
he was just coming out.
“Didn’t you hear what my
daughter said? Your useless
son impregnated my
daughter”Her mother fumed.
My father couldn’t believe it.He
thought it was a joke all this
while.
“Johnpaul!”my dad called.I
turned to look at him with fear.
“Is it true?”he asked.
I shook my head negatively.
I had to do that.I didn’t know
what will become of me if i
accepted.
“You are lying.go and look for
who impregnated you”my
mother cut in,referring to
chika.
***.::::.***
The doctor handed the test
results over to my father.I
knew the test will find me
out.At first,i had refused to
come to the hospital but he
forced me.My father almost
beat the living daylight out of
me.
Chika had to come with us.Her
mother said the child must
never be aborted.I was full of
shame.I couldn’t bear the
thought that i now am going
to have a child soon.I equally
knew some people would
address her as my wife.
After that incident,i started
thinking of a way to break free
from what i was addicted
to.The more i tried to stop,the
more i indulged in it.It had
sunk into my blood.I had come
to see why drug addicts can
not break free from drug.The
more you try to stop,the more
the urge increases.
I had stop schooling.I couldnt
face the shame at school
anymore.
Few months after chika
delivered the child,another trouble came calling as
another
woman came with her
daughter.She claimed i had
impregnated her and i knew
she was telling the truth.
Keneth and kelvin were still
single.Osaruguewas still
single but i have two girls or
should i say wives under my
disposal.
My life turned upside.I
molested almost every girl that
came my way.
I hated myself.I tried
everything to break free from
the problem i was into but all
trials to no avail
.
.
.
That was how it happened and
now i have no other option
than to end my life.I was tired
of the shame i always got into.I
must hang myself and it has to
be this nigh.Nobody can stop
me.My two victims has gone to
sleep.The clock on the wall
made me realise its 11.20pm.
I took the rope and set out to
fulfil my mission.
I had tied the rope to the tree
branch somewhere around the
compound.As i made to put the
rope on my neck,i heard my
father running to me,shouting
in the darkness of the night.
Soon,i saw my mothers and
siblings coming.My father’s
shouting must have woken them up.
I started crying.I explained everything that has been happening to me to them,right from the day the television was brought into our house.I never knew my step mother would forgive me for stealing her money.
My father blamed my mothers for everything while they blamed him in return for not always being around.
My father told me that they all loved me and would be sad if they lost me.
He told me he would help me get over my problems.I prayed his strategies works.I want to be free someday.Physically,mentally and emotionally.I want to look at the opposite sex and not feel guilty.I want to log into the internet without visiting p–n sites.I want to be free.
I believe my father would help me.And i also believe God will also play a part to rescue me.
THE END

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