(STORY) The Church Accountant (Episode 1-11)


Episode 1

I received a call
Caller: are you Brother Collins Ajidara?
Me: yes
Caller: I am Pastor Maxwell speaking from ZOCA Church in Amuloko. You applied and did interview for the post of Church Accountant three months ago. I am glad to announce to that you report at the church office by 11am today.
Me: (Very excited) Yes sir. Thank you sir. (call ended)
I jubilated around the house because it had been a great relief to me. I had been at home for the past three months…. I quickly prepared to get to Amuloko. I called my parents to break the good news to them.
By 11 am I got to the place. I met with the Senior Pastor and he briefed me on my job and what I will be doing. I was given an en – suite office with all the necessary accessories….a complete system with internet connection. Not long that I settled down I heard a knock
Me: come in
The person came in and wow! I was speechless. She was of moderate height, chocolate in complexion and has a slim structure. She has a huge Weapon of Mass Defence in the front and a wonderful Weapon of Mass Destruction at the back. She was dressed in a skirt suit which covered most of the assets.
She: good morning brother. Welcome to ZOCA Church. My name is Sis. Iyoaye and I am in charge of the Church Bookshop.
Me: Thank you Mrs. Iyoaye. I am Collins Ajidara by name.
Sis Iyoaye: Please call me Sis. Iyoaye
Me: ok Sis. Iyoaye.

I was wowed at her structure because my adrenalin level has soared beyond 1000km/sec and I wished to grab her Weapon of Mass Defence and start sucking it at that spot. The intercom buzzed and brought me back to reality
Me: Hello Sir
The Pastor: Bro. Collins please come to my office immediately.
I told sis. Iyoaye that I will see her later. When I got to the Pastor’s office, I discovered that the church elders and other pastors are already seated.
Pastor Maxwell: Accountant, please have your seat.
I greeted everyone seated and I sat at the chair that has been reserved for me.
Pastor Maxwell: Bro. Collins, we are pleased to have you join us in this Church. I want to introduce the Church Board to you. He started the introduction and mentioned the names of every one seated. After the introduction he started to tell me the nature of operation of the church and the do’s and don’ts afterwards one of the Women (Dcns. Idowu Emeka) seated there said “Accountant, are you married?
Me: No ma. I replied.
Dcns. Emeka: do you have a fiancée?
Me: No ma. We just broke up two months ago.
Dcns. Emeka: But why?
I explained that we broke up due to blood group/genotype incompatibility.
Dcns. Emeka: Hope you will not impregnate all our girls here because bi mo n ti woju e yii, wa like obinrin gan (everyone burst into laughter)
Me: Mummy, no………… I promise I won’t (yinmu for my mind)
An Elderly man who has been quiet all the time suddenly asked me “if not for the person that recommended you, there are other more qualified candidates.
Me: I know sir
He continued: “so if I hear that you mess up with any sister in this church I will personally blacklist you. And nobody tampers with God’s money and go scot free o.
Me: I know sir and I am assuring you I won’t.
The meeting was closed and I returned to office. Some minutes later I heard a knock on the door.
Me: Please come in.
The person that came into my office was……. (Guess who)????

TBC
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Episode 2

I was surprised that Dcns. Emeka came into the office. I ushered her to sit down.
Dcns. Emeka: Accountant the Accountant
Me: mummy it is well ma
Dcns. Emeka: I want to know where you are living
Me: I live at Iyana Church ma.
Dcns. Emeka: Iyana Church ke? O ti jina ju now
Me: I know ma. I am planning to scot with a friend at Olorunsogo. And….
Dcns. Emeka: (cuts in) don’t worry. We have discussed and we have resolved to get an apartment for you that will not be far from the church.
After some discussion she left and I started pondering
How will I cope here?
How will these people treat me?
Hope I won’t be policed around?
As I was thinking about that, a call came on my phone
Me: hello
Caller: hello lover boy
Me: who am I speaking with?
Caller: hmmm Na wa for you. It is your angel Damola
Me: Dammy mi. Omo ele that I have vowed to marry if not….
Damola: shhhh. Please don’t make me remember how we parted….
Me: BTW why hiding your number?
Damola: well I am presently using a public line in Gauteng.
Me: South Africa?
Damola: beeni o. I just called to check on you Mr. Lover Boy
Me: Anyway congrats sweetheart. At least I am happy that the visa was finally approved for you. BTW I have been called by that church.
Damola: Wow!!!!! Congrats dear. I wished I was in Ibadan presently to celebrate with you
Me: how?
Damola: u know now. Wrapping my lips around your “OPA MOSE” and playing with the balls, sucking the living water from it……..
Me: o gbadun. And lest I forget, I am now a church worker.
Damola: E pele o. Pasito Collins. I will call you later
Me: ok dear, take care (ends call)

—————————–

(Flashback)
Damola and I met on the last day of our Youth Service in Jos. When we were collecting our Discharge Certificate at Rwang Pam Stadium, I discovered that someone came in from nowhere and wanted to jump the queue to collect her certificate. I was mad and I had to challenge her
Me: excuse me ma’am, you have to go and join the queue.
Damola: wetin you go do for me?
Me: please respect yourself and go back.
Damola: even if Jonah dey for queue, he no fit tell me say make I no collect my certificate before am.
Everybody on the queue started laughing and I was seriously embarrassed. Later in the evening when I boarded the bus going to Abuja, I discovered that a lady’s bag was beside where I wanted to sit and no longer I sat down a lady came to the bus and guess what? She was the one.
Damola: Mr. man God don catch una. She said among smiles
Me: (turning to my friend) omo yii lo f’oshe yi mi ni stadium.
Damola: (turning to my friend) ma da lohun. O fe ma se bi Van Damme.
Me: Well nnkan t’o ti sele ti sele, I am St. Collins (extended my hand to her)
Damola: Omo Igbo t’on so Yoruba ni yii?
Me: Ogidi omo Yoruba ni mi
She surprised me by hugging me and said to my ears “you are too ugly”
—-

(flashback continues)
Our journey to Abuja was eventful because we all argued and discussed about the forthcoming elections (between GEJ and GMB) and how Jega is bleeping up with the non-functionality of the card reader in some places. We arrived at Abuja and funny enough we dropped at the same bus – stop. We exchanged numbers and sooner or later, we started dating each other. On a fateful day she came to Ibadan to pay me a visit, she collapsed and she was rushed to the hospital. It was there that we discovered that she had anaemia and she urgently needed blood transfusion. When I volunteered to donate blood to her the Doctor said he wanted to see me in his office
Doctor: Mr. St. Collins (pronounced as Sin-Collins), there is not a good news. Who is she to you?
Me: She is my girlfriend.
Doctor: I am sorry to tell you sir, your blood group and genotype is not compatible.
Me: mo gbe Ahhhh!!!
I felt my world was crashing…. My first and only girlfriend!!!! The girl that took my virginity!!!! Why??? I was crying leaving the doctor’s office. A woman came to console me that I should take heart and volunteered to donate hers’. When she was alright I broke the news to her. She cried and cried but later she took heart and we remained best of friends, though sometimes whenever she comes to Ibadan, we always have mind blowing “bleep – bleep”

TBC
[nextpage title=”episode 3″]
Episode 2

I was surprised that Dcns. Emeka came into the office. I ushered her to sit down.
Dcns. Emeka: Accountant the Accountant
Me: mummy it is well ma
Dcns. Emeka: I want to know where you are living
Me: I live at Iyana Church ma.
Dcns. Emeka: Iyana Church ke? O ti jina ju now
Me: I know ma. I am planning to scot with a friend at Olorunsogo. And….
Dcns. Emeka: (cuts in) don’t worry. We have discussed and we have resolved to get an apartment for you that will not be far from the church.
After some discussion she left and I started pondering
How will I cope here?
How will these people treat me?
Hope I won’t be policed around?
As I was thinking about that, a call came on my phone
Me: hello
Caller: hello lover boy
Me: who am I speaking with?
Caller: hmmm Na wa for you. It is your angel Damola
Me: Dammy mi. Omo ele that I have vowed to marry if not….
Damola: shhhh. Please don’t make me remember how we parted….
Me: BTW why hiding your number?
Damola: well I am presently using a public line in Gauteng.
Me: South Africa?
Damola: beeni o. I just called to check on you Mr. Lover Boy
Me: Anyway congrats sweetheart. At least I am happy that the visa was finally approved for you. BTW I have been called by that church.
Damola: Wow!!!!! Congrats dear. I wished I was in Ibadan presently to celebrate with you
Me: how?
Damola: u know now. Wrapping my lips around your “OPA MOSE” and playing with the balls, sucking the living water from it……..
Me: o gbadun. And lest I forget, I am now a church worker.
Damola: E pele o. Pasito Collins. I will call you later
Me: ok dear, take care (ends call)

—————————–

(Flashback)
Damola and I met on the last day of our Youth Service in Jos. When we were collecting our Discharge Certificate at Rwang Pam Stadium, I discovered that someone came in from nowhere and wanted to jump the queue to collect her certificate. I was mad and I had to challenge her
Me: excuse me ma’am, you have to go and join the queue.
Damola: wetin you go do for me?
Me: please respect yourself and go back.
Damola: even if Jonah dey for queue, he no fit tell me say make I no collect my certificate before am.
Everybody on the queue started laughing and I was seriously embarrassed. Later in the evening when I boarded the bus going to Abuja, I discovered that a lady’s bag was beside where I wanted to sit and no longer I sat down a lady came to the bus and guess what? She was the one.
Damola: Mr. man God don catch una. She said among smiles
Me: (turning to my friend) omo yii lo f’oshe yi mi ni stadium.
Damola: (turning to my friend) ma da lohun. O fe ma se bi Van Damme.
Me: Well nnkan t’o ti sele ti sele, I am St. Collins (extended my hand to her)
Damola: Omo Igbo t’on so Yoruba ni yii?
Me: Ogidi omo Yoruba ni mi
She surprised me by hugging me and said to my ears “you are too ugly”
—-

(flashback continues)
Our journey to Abuja was eventful because we all argued and discussed about the forthcoming elections (between GEJ and GMB) and how Jega is bleeping up with the non-functionality of the card reader in some places. We arrived at Abuja and funny enough we dropped at the same bus – stop. We exchanged numbers and sooner or later, we started dating each other. On a fateful day she came to Ibadan to pay me a visit, she collapsed and she was rushed to the hospital. It was there that we discovered that she had anaemia and she urgently needed blood transfusion. When I volunteered to donate blood to her the Doctor said he wanted to see me in his office
Doctor: Mr. St. Collins (pronounced as Sin-Collins), there is not a good news. Who is she to you?
Me: She is my girlfriend.
Doctor: I am sorry to tell you sir, your blood group and genotype is not compatible.
Me: mo gbe Ahhhh!!!
I felt my world was crashing…. My first and only girlfriend!!!! The girl that took my virginity!!!! Why??? I was crying leaving the doctor’s office. A woman came to console me that I should take heart and volunteered to donate hers’. When she was alright I broke the news to her. She cried and cried but later she took heart and we remained best of friends, though sometimes whenever she comes to Ibadan, we always have mind blowing “bleep – bleep”

TBC
[nextpage title=”episode 4″]

Episode 4

After Aisha left, I called the Receptionist that I am not attending to anyone. And I started ruminating over my life…..what have I just done? Why did I have to do such even in the office? Why didn’t I take her home to just do it? As I was thinking about it an SMS entered my phone which reads: “meet me at the front of Campari fast – food joint at Iwo Road in the next 1 hour – Dcns. Emeka”
I tidied up my office, sprayed the air freshener and switched off the Air Conditioner, I called the Secretary that I have an urgent appointment at Iwo Rd and it will take me 2-3 hours.
When I got there, I saw her already waiting for me inside the fast – food joint and I sat beside her.
Me: Ma, it is quite scary for me to come and meet you here.
Dcns. Emeka: shhhh…. I wanted to talk with you (she placed her hands on my laps trying to rub it)
Me: (tried shifting away from her) ok ma I’m all ears
Dcns. Emeka: you have been avoiding me since when you resumed.
Me: No….. I am not running away from you ma. You know the nature of our work in the church office, not having time for other engagements.
Dcns. Emeka: I just want to know how you are faring. Take this envelope (she passed an envelope to me). Use it to do whatever you want to do.
Me: thank you ma.
Then I realized that it was about 50,000 Naira in the envelope
Dcns. Emeka: You know the project we are about to execute in the church and I want you to work towards it that I should be the one awarded the contract to. I promise that as soon as it has been awarded, I will settle you in cash and in other way round
Me: how will I help you ma?
Dcns. Emeka: the church board meeting will come up on Sunday and you and I will be there; and as you know, I can’t recommend myself. All the Board members have united themselves against me and their main instigator is Elder Barcanista. I want you to help me. Accountant use every possible means to convince Head Pastor.
Me: I am not assuring you but I will try.
Dcns. Emeka: Ok. I will be expecting a reply from you
Wetin I don enter now??? God!!!!

Later in the day, I called Elder Barcanista
Me: Hello Elder
Elder Barcanista: Hello my son.
Me: e ku ojo meta sir.
Elder Barcanista: hope there are no problems
Me: No sir. I want to know if the contractor for the job of constructing the school at Asejire along Ibadan – Ife Expressway has been selected.
Elder Barcanista: Hmm…. No
Me: but please sir, what about Dcns. Emeka?
Elder Barcanista: Lai-lai
Me: but why sir?
Elder: (breathes deeply) She is an ingrate. I worked a job for her some years back but after she finished the job she decided to start fighting with me that I am demanding too much.
Me: Daddy, I felt your pain sir. But can I make a proposition?
Elder: go ahead.
Me: Let’s scare her by telling her that she is not qualified. But I want us to give her the job. I will talk to her to “pay her dues”
Elder: Accountant, kini Dcns. fun e? (what did the Dcns. gave you?)
Me: nothing sir. I just felt that instead of us taking our food outside, let us cook and eat our food at home. I will encourage her to employ most of the youths in the church that are still looking for job so that as she benefits as a member of the Church Board, the youths in the church also should benefit from her.
Elder: Accountant, you spoke well. Let me call the Head Pastor so that I will convey the suggestion to the Head Pastor.
Me: Thank you sir.
Call ended.
Time flew to Sunday and after the service, the meeting commenced, but Dcns. Emeka was excused.
Head Pastor: I welcome you all to this meeting. As we all know, we are about building our model school at Asejire. We have received various proposals from different people for the project. Elder Barcanista suggested to me that we should give Dcns. Emeka the job but I feel otherwise. So I want suggestions from other members of the Board.
Elder Garba: Why can’t we give it to Engineer David? Why is it that the project should go to Dcns. Emeka?
Dcns. Agwu: Engineer David is just less than 6 months in this church. You know our policy that we can’t give a job of such enormity to a church member that has not spent up to one year.
Deacon Oladunjoye: She is right Elder Garba. Engineer David is just a new member and according to records, he just joined a service unit less than 2 months ago.
Elder Garba: Lai-lai. I won’t agree that we should use Dcns. Emeka.
I sat there watching how the drama unfolds to a serious argument within the church board members. After the Head Pastor calmed everyone down, I stood up to talk
Me: Please I want you to be considerate. We all know Dcns. Emeka. She is a member of this church for the past 8years. I heard that even the last assignment she did for the church, she refunded the balance in the project money.
All except Me: WHAT???
Me: When I reconciled all the accounts related to the project, I discovered that she actually refunded 8.7 million naira
Elder Garba: ALLAH YA KIYAYE!!!
Me: But the former accountant only declared 5million naira
EVERYONE INCLUDING PASTOR: CHIZOZZZZ!!!!! 😮
Me: so for anyone who did such project with open transparency and the structure still lasted time and again, is it not that person we are going to give the job to do again?
Deacon Oladunjoye: definitely she is the one we are going to give the job.
After much deliberations and review on the project sum, we called her to the meeting room:
Head Pastor: Dcns. Emeka, even though you are a member of the church board, we have decided to award the project to you. The letter of award of contract will be given to you before Tuesday next week
Dcns. Emeka: (happy) Thank you Pastor and thank you the Church Board (she knelt down for everybody) and I promise you I will never fail but I will deliver.
TBC
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Episode 5

After the meeting and everyone was about going home I got a buzz on my Whatsapp from Dcns. Emeka
Dcns. Emeka: Thank you for today. I overheard what you said about me at the meeting. I really owe you one and she inserted a heart smiley
As soon as I got to my office to close for the day I saw sis. Iyoaye
Me: Hey Milk Factory, what can I do for you?
Sis. Iyoaye: Accountant e gbadun. I have been waiting for you about close to 3 hours ago. I have a date to attend and you are delaying me…
Me: so, you want to leave your husband abi?
Sis. Iyoaye: who be dat husband?
Me: me, of course!
We have been flirting on 2go and Whatsapp since the time I resumed. Even we’ve had phone-bleep. I had chatted with her during the service that I want to suck her glory – holebaaaaddd. As soon as she entered my office, I locked my office and grabbed her Weapons of Mass Defence from the back and started squeezing it
Sis. Iyoaye: Accountant, Please leave me alone o
Me: is it not what you want?
Sis. Iyoaye: (faces me) why have you kept me waiting all this while?
As soon as she said so my phone rang….

When I saw the screen of the phone I discovered that it was the Head Pastor that was calling me
Head Pastor: are you at home?
Me: I am still in the office sir.
Head Pastor: ok. Is Sis Iyoaye with you?
Me: yes sir.
Head Pastor: Please tell her to come and lock up the Bookshop without delay
Me: OK sir.
As soon as his call ended, I told her to go and lock the place up. Within three minutes, she had gone and returned. As soon as she came inside my office, she locked my office door and removed the top of her shirt. Funny enough, she did not put on any bra!

When she was approaching where I sat, my phone started ringing
Sis. Iyoaye: Ignore the call….. I want you in me now…….
Me: Let me pick the call please. I promise you it won’t be more than a minute.
Sis. Iyoaye: ok
As soon as I picked the call,
Me: Hello
Caller: It is me Dcns. Emeka
Me:Dcns. good day ma
Dcns.: Where are you? I am in front of your house
Me: (mogbe) I am still in the church ma.
Dcns.: I am on my way to see you (ends call)
Me: (holding iyoaye’s waist) I am sorry. Dcns. Emeka is on her way to the church and I don’t want her to meet the 2 of us like this.
Sis. Iyoaye: Accountant why are you doing this to me??? I am ready to give you my body my love and all but you don’t want to have time for me
Me: Iyoaye, it is not that. I don’t want to jeopardize my job here.
Sis. Iyoaye: (hissed and dressed up) well, emi ti n lo (I’m going home)
She left and banged the door behind her
I was brought back from my reverie by a knock on the door.
Me: (thinking it was Iyoaye that came back) Come in
The person opened the door and it was……..

Dcns. Emeka came into the office
Dcns. Emeka: kilode t’o si fi wa ninu office? (Why are you still in the office?)
Me: I am trying to collate the report for last month and if I go home, I will just be sleeping.

But what I observed in Dcns. dressing is that she wore jean skirt with a top that barely reached her waist and I was seeing her tummy.
Dcns.: I want to thank you for what you did for me today at the church meeting. Deep inside I was a bit skeptical if you will be given audience but I am happy the contract was awarded to me. Well, I wanted to come and meet you at home but you were still here…ok let’s go somewhere?
Me: to collect tithe?
Dcns.: u no well Accountant. We are going to Molete.
Me: ok ma.
We left the church and went to Genesis Hotel and Suites Restaurant. When we got there, we ordered what we wanted to eat and after settling down, and after eating for some minutes
Me: Daddy and the Kids nko?
Dcns.: (smiles) Daddy and the Kids are in the States…….and went on and on
Me: (shocked) why are you not with them?
Dcns.: I am the one managing the family company. I only go to the states for vacation.
Me: No wonder.
My phone dropped on the floor and as I bend to pick it up, my eyes went to Dcns. laps. I saw she wore no panties and her holies were scrapped clean. Quickly I looked up the table and when our eyes met
Dcns.: do you like what you just saw?
Me: (stammering) ye…ye…yes ma

TBC
[nextpage title=”episode 6″]

Episode 6

I was confused. What is her next move? My OPA – MOSE was rock hard and was in anticipation. I was torn between two worlds – whether to fcuk her or not. As I was in my thinking session, I felt a touch on my shoulder
Dcns.: I have been talking to you for the past 5 minutes and you haven’t been responding. What is the matter Accountant?
Me: My Dcns., I am not happy that I want to do this with you. Honestly you are a pretty woman no doubt; but…..
She silenced my speech with a kiss…..
Afterwards, she excused herself that she wanted to pick up something in the car. I felt relieved thinking that I had escaped only to see a Whatsapp notification on my phone
“meet me at Room 23 NOW!!!” with a picture of her holies….
I got to the reception and after seeing the receptionist, I went to the room. When I got there, I met the door slightly opened and when I entered……….my people when I entered…. I met Dcns. inside the room in her birthday suit…..
Me: Dcns. so this is what you meant by ‘in other way round’ abi
Dcns: yes
By that time my OPA MOSE took over my reasoning faculty. We started kissing each other and she pulled off my shirt. Then I took one of her Weapons of Mass Defence sucking it like a new born baby and was also fondling with the other Weapon. She pushed me to the bed and pulled off my trousers. Immediately she saw ‘OPA MOSE’ she frowned at me
Dcns: but Accountant why?
Me: silent
Dcns: I thought you will be big but I am disappointed with this
I stood up in anger to wear my dress, she held on me and said
Dcns: I am sorry
Me: Never mind Dcns. It will be a secret between us and let’s behave as if it never happened
As soon as I said it, she gave me a hug and was apologizing for saying such. Then she pulled down my trousers and took my OPA – MOSE to her mouth. She sucked it as if she wanted to take water from a tap that is no longer flowing. Later I laid down on the bed and she sat on my face and also was sucking my pipe seriously as if it has living water flowing through it. I turned her and was sucking the ‘holiest’ and she started speaking as if she was in Ethiopia. Afterwards, she climaxed and passed out…..
I was scared. I tried to revive her but she came on almost immediately….
Dcns: Accountant, se o fe pami ni? (doyou want to kill me?)
Me: how do I want to kill you?
Dcns: nobody, even my husband have made me climaxed that high
Me: kil’omode mi mo (what do the child know?)
I carried her legs and tried to enter her. But she was screaming in pains.
Me: you are too tight.
Dcns: It has been over four years I’ve sex with my husband.
I inserted the cap of my ‘OPA-MOSE’into her holiest and gently and she started rubbing my head and was moaning, after five minutes i assumed that she might be ready then I inserted my full length into her…..she screamed and held me tighter but after a while, she started moaning like a phone that is on vibration

….. After some minutes I lay down on the bed and she climbed on me and start riding me. The holiest was very tight like the suction hose of vacuum cleaner that draws out dust from the ground. Later, we reverted to the almighty missionary position and as I was about to cum, I wanted to pull out but she held me close and I exploded mightily into her. Both of us laid on the bed like worn – out locomotive engine that Uncle Jona commissioned. Then the following dialogue ensued…
Dcns Emeka: Accountant, you are a beast on the bed.
Me: Me? A beast? I am as gentle as a dove….
Dcns Emeka: you made me feel like a lady this evening. I was underestimating your OPA and now I can say otherwise.
Facing her, I saw the glint on her face and the dimples that showed me that Dcns Emeka really enjoyed the sex. Then I said
Me: in the next 30 minutes, I will be going
Dcns. Emeka: why now? Tomorrow is public holiday.
Me: I don’t know if the Head Pastor will allow me to stay home. And besides, I am collating the monthly report of the church.
Dcns. Emeka: (disappointed) ok. But should we fcuk one more time?
Me: Pleeaaaasseeeee
Then a call came into my phone and I picked it
Me: Hello
The Caller: it is me Iyoaye
Me: (not to let Dcns. Emeka know) Sister mi, how are you?
Iyoaye: I am not fine
Me: why are you not fine and why using another line to call me?
Iyoaye: I am at your place.
Me: Ahhhh! I am not at home o.
Iyoaye: well I will wait for you.
Me: Mogbe (I’m in trouble)
Iyoaye: mai ti gbe. Nigba t’o ba de wadaamo (don’t put yourself into trouble yet, come home prepared) ends call
Dcns. Emeka: what happened?
Me: My Elder sister is right at my apartment and I want to rush down to meet her.
Dcns. Emeka: my love… don’t leave me here please (she purred)
Me: (I went to meet her) Sweetie, I feel like not leaving your arms but I am left with no choice than to leave.
Dcns Emeka: hmmm it is ok. At least I was greatly satisfied with you overhauling my hydraulics.
We both laughed. Then we freshened up and left the place. When she dropped me at Challenge, she handed me an envelope
Dcns. Emeka: take it for your transport
I appreciated her and when she left I counted the money. It was another 50,000 naira.

TBC
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Episode 7

I was shocked. Cos I kept asking myself ‘am I now a gigolo?’ the thoughts was repeatedly coming over and over till when I got home around 7pm. As soon as I stepped into my compound I saw my neighbour who told me that my wife has been waiting for me. When I saw her she frowned towards me
Sis. Iyoaye: Why did you kept waiting?
I placed my hands on her Weapon of Mass Destruction
Sis. Iyoaye: leave me alone o. infact I am very angry with you
I opened my door and she entered my apartment. Wow! She exclaimed but quickly frowned her face back. I lied to her that Dcns. Emeka invited me for Full Gospel Business Fellowship. When I finished explaining things to her she soften a bit. Then a call came in to my phone
Me: Hello
Caller: it is me Dcns. Emeka
Me: Oh Dcns Emeka… have you gotten home?
Dcns Emeka: yes I have gotten home and how is your sister?
Me: She is alright (I turned to face Sis. Iyoaye)
Dcns. Emeka: I want to send the picture of the Holies to you.
Me: Nooo. I will switch off my phone now. I wanna sleep
Dcns. Emeka: Pleeeeaaaassssseeee
Me: Ma, I just took some tablets with natural OYS milk and I want to rest. I will call you tomorrow morning ma.
Dcns. Emeka: (disappointed) Ok I don hear una. I love you
Me: (love kini?) It is well ma. Goodnight
Dcns. Emeka: sweet dreams (ends call)
Turning to Iyoaye she said
Sis. Iyoaye: E ku ise. Which tablet do you want to take.
Me: your bobbi and pussie
Sis Iyoaye: u no well. I am tired and hungry. What do you have at home?
Me: check inside the fridge to pick up some things
When she opened the fridge, she was surprised
Sis. Iyoaye: Accountant, you have all soups stored in the fridge. Emi ti mo je obinrin gan mi o niakoko lati dana to yii (As a lady, I don’t have the luxury of time to prepare all this)
Me: do you think I sleep all night? I prepare my soups all night. So that I won’t bother you (squeezes her weapon of mass defence)
Sis. Iyoaye: issshhhhh….. Hmmm……please lemme cook first.
I went to the bathroom to shower and tiptoed to the kitchen. When I got there, I saw Iyoaye squeezing her bobby. I went behind her and started to rub her tips. She stopped what she was doing and turned to kiss me. Then I started sucking her tips and she was rubbing my head and ears. Then I used my tongue to trace down to her navel. The way she moaned and reacted made my discovery of her hotspot possible because during our sexting she told me that it will be hard for me to know her hotspot. I placed my hands to her weapon of mass destruction and started squeezing it real bad while sucking her navel and she was flip-flopping everywhere. I carried her to the parlour, placed her on the chair and went straight to her holiest. When I got there I saw the place shaved clean except for a neatly trimmed upside down triangular hair design. But what surprised me most is that hers was still shining/blended with her skin colour but other ladies holiest would have been blackened. I dived straight to her holiest and started sucking it hungrily. She was saying many things that were unmentionable and she was using her laps to hold my head. Then I inserted my fingers into the holiest and started manipulating her. She was begging me to fcuk her but I did as if I didn’t hear suddenly she had spasms, climaxed and her fluid was enormous.
Sis Iyoaye: (weakly) Accountant, do you want to kill me?
Me: even if I killed you, it wont be in this house.
Sis. Iyoaye: I am tired…
Me: No! You have to reciprocate back
Sis. Iyoaye: I promise I will but please lemme rest a bit.
Me: (after a while) Ok I have heard you.
I went to the kitchen to prepare noodles and fried egg but when I brought the food, she was already sleeping…..

After I have allowed her to sleep for about an hour, I woke her up
Sis. Iyoaye: (sleepily) I am hungry.
Me: (laugh sarcastically) hungry ke? You have never reciprocated and you are hungry
Sis. Iyoaye: Okun inu la n fi gbeti’ta (when you are strengthened from within that you use to work)
I brought her share of the noodles inside the food flask. During the time she was eating, I fell asleep. I was awoken when I felt something warm wrapped around my OPA – MOSE. She sucked it for a while after that she straddled it and started riding on it. It got to a point that I have to cover her mouth with my hands so that she wont scream. I took her to the counter top in the kitchen and I entered her. We continued fcuking each other for about 20 minutes. Then I turned her and came in from behind. I rode her like a wild dog and she was moaning and screaming gently the same time. I felt my balls tightening and I was about to cum. I exploded into her, lost my balance and crashed to the floor and passed out.

TBC
[nextpage title=”episode 8″]

Episode 8

*****************************

I woke up the following morning on the bed unclad with Iyoaye beside me. I felt a throb of pain at my head and I struggled to get up. When I stood up, Iyoaye woke up
Sis Iyoaye: Collins good morning.
Me: (respect no dey again) good morning Iyoaye. How was your night? And how did I get to the bed?
Iyoaye: I dragged you to the matrass so that you could be able to sleep. But, the way you crashed, it’s like as if you have gone on a sex spree yesterday afternoon with Dcns Emeka
Me: are you for real?
Iyoaye: Don’t you think I always see her when she looks at you seductively in the church? Even yesterday when she was looking at you she was stylishly rubbing her chest
Me: Hian! Iyo of gbogbo Aye! How do you think it will be possible for me to be fcuking a married woman? Even in the church? I am disappointed in you. Even…..
Iyoaye: (cuts in) Noooo. Don’t get me wrong o. I am not saying that you shouldn’t relate with her but I’m a jealous woman who doesn’t like to her man with any woman.
Me: like Bro. Tunji?
Iyoaye: No. you suppose to have said Bro Mattkelly (hisses)
We were eating breakfast when the Head Pastor called me. He said that he declares Monday as work free day for us. But I should ensure that my phone is ON.
After the call, I held Iyoaye waist and looking at her, I saw the passion burning like a fire in her eyes. As I was about kissing her she said:
Iyoaye: Collins, will you promise me something?
Me: if it is what I can do, I will if not………..but I will try
Iyoaye: Promise me that you wont betray me?
Me: Iyoaye, I am a complicated person. I wont promise you yes but I will try.
Iyoaye: so do you just want to use me and dump me?
Me: No Iyoaye. Ti mba so wipe adegunleni, ti mo si so wipe adeogunlola nko, ki lo nfeki n se? (If I say yes today and I later reverted tomorrow to say no, what will you do?) it is better let us be fcukmates or FWB
Iyoaye: what is the meaning of FWB?
Me: Friends with bnefits.
After a while she said
Iyoaye: ok I have heard you.
We started kissing and I used one of my hands to rub her Weapon of Mass Defence while the other hand was squeezing her Weapon of Mass Destruction. She was using one of her hands to hold and squeeze my OPA – MOSE while she was using the other hand to rub my head. She went straight down to my OPA – MOSE and began to suck it. It was as if I used morphine to deaden the pain in my head. We fcuked twice before she left for her house. As soon as she left, I dialed Dcns Emeka’s number
Dcns Emeka: Accountant, na wa for you. You forgot me since….
Me: (Kisses her on the phone) sorry dear, I almost forgot to call you.
Dcns Emeka: o ti de level yen abi? Mo to bi e lomo Accountant (has it gotten to that level? I am old enough to be your mum, Accountant)
Me: (laughed) yes you are old enough to be my mum and young enough to suck my OPA – MOSE
Dcns Emeka: (purred) yessss. Accountant, I missed “SHORT MAN DEVIL”
Me: (stroking my OPA – MOSE) yes it is missing you.
Dcns Emeka: will you be chanced today?
Me: Nooo. I am dead tired.
Dcns Emeka: why wont you be tired? Anyway how about your sister?
Me: oh! She had left this morning. Dcns, can we talk later.
Dcns Emeka: ok love.
Me: ok ma. Talk to you later.
After she ended the call I was pondering;
Why did Iyoaye talked about Dcns Emeka like that?
Why is Iyoaye desperate in hooking me?
Why? Why? Why?
*************************************************

(After few months)
The project has commenced and Dcns Emeka and I did not have the opportunity to see frequently. But anytime she comes to my office, she doesn’t leave without us kissing each other. With Iyoaye, I decided to give her some space so that the feelings she has for me will die down. Then on one fateful day the Head Pastor summoned me to his office and after I sat down,
Head Pastor: Accountant, I have observed that you have not introduced any lady to us that you want to marry. Are you GAY or are you castrated?
Me: no sir. It is just that. Gbogboawon sister ninu church wa yii n’onsako (every sister in this church are forming big girls)
Head Pastor: what about Sis. Iyoaye?
Me: (lol) no……
Head Pastor: That’s by the way. We are having a new Associate Pastor. His name is Pastor Onihaxy and he is resuming tomorrow. He will be using the office beside the bookshop.
Me: it is okay sir.
Head Pastor: have you prepared the documentation for the release of the second stage of payment for Dcns Emeka
Me: yes sir. I will bring it to your office asap.
The following day came and as I came to the office, I saw pastor Onihaxy and Sis Iyoaye talking with each other and Sis Iyoaye was laughing. After the devotion, the Head Pastor introduced him to us and we in turns introduced each other.

I observed when Pst. Onihaxy resumed that he will spend time with Iyoaye in the bookshop and sometimes they leave the office together. Then one day I called Iyoaye over the intercom
Me: Hello. Please see me in my office
Sis. Iyoaye: why do you want to see me Mr.?
As I was trying to explain the reasons why she should come, she ended the call. Two hours later she came and stood by the door:
Sis. Iyoaye: Mr. Accountant, why do you want to see me?

Me: Come in and sit down pleaseeee (I winked at her)

Sis. Iyoaye: Mr. I don’t have time to waste. Say whatever you want to say.
I was angry but kept my cool
Me: well get ready for Stock Audit tomorrow.
She left angrily from my office
The following day, I resumed early in the bookshop. When I was there, I also observed that Pst. Onihaxy too was with us. Though, it was he and Sis. Iyoaye were together. When we got to the foreign books section, I observed that Pst. Onihaxy was stylishly smooching her Weapon of Mass Destruction. I called her for some observation
Me: Sis. Iyoaye, in your records you registered 20 books but physically it is 34 books. Can you explain please?

Sis. Iyoaye: (started fidgeting) erm……Accountant I can explain…..erm…..erm….

I kept quiet and noted it in my draft report. After the stock taking, I left for my office. I worked all through the day. But around 7pm that night – in the office……

TBC
[nextpage title=”episode 9″]

Episode 9

When I was about going home, I saw the light of the bookshop on. What could be happening? I thought. I tiptoed to the bookshop, there I met Iyoaye sitting on the chair and placed her head to the table. I entered into the bookshop and quietly sneaked to where she sat. It was when I coughed she raised her head, her eyes were red and swollen.
Iyoaye: Accountant, you are still around?
Me: yes. Can I seat with you?
Iyoaye: please do. Accountant I want to explain what happened.
Me: go on
Iyoaye: I bought some extra copies of the book personally so that I will use it to augment my allowance. But I am sorry that I did not inform you
Me: OK but how is Pst. Onihaxy your husband?
Iyoaye: (hisses hard) Accountant, ejoo e ja mi kuro loro yen (please don’t bring his issue up)
Me: (hugged her) what happened dear? (yinmu for my mind)
Iyoaye: (tears forming in her eyes) Can you believe that Pst. Onihaxy’s fiancée came to the bookshop today and insulted me that I want to snatch her husband and was calling me all sort of names? (she burst into tears)
I held her hands and allowed her to release the built – up emotions in her. Later I consoled her that she should try to forget what has happened between the both of them. Me: Iyoaye, about the issue on ground, I have decided to strike it out from my report (As soon as she heard that she was happy) but I want to ask you something, Why are you just avoiding me for the past three months? I mean when Pst. Onihaxy resumed?
Iyoaye: I thought I offended you. You decided to stop calling and sending your usual sweet SMS. And Pst. Onihaxy has been the one who have kept me lively all this while.
Me: so both of you have started sexting?
Iyoaye: N O no.
Me: but I saw him smooching your…….
Iyoaye kept me quiet by kissing me. We kissed for a while but I had to stop because we were in the church.
Me: can we go to my place?
Iyoaye: sure
We closed the bookshop and I locked my office. Within minutes we were at my place. I told her that I want to shower. I undressed and went into the bathroom to shower. When I was through she went to the bathroom too. While she was there, a call came in from Pst. Onihaxy to her phone. I took her phone to her and as soon as she knew it was Pst. Onihaxy she told me to end the call. After she finished in the bathroom, she went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. A text came into her phone and when is stylishly checked it was from Pst. Onihaxy. I pretended that I saw nothing. After we were through with dinner, a call came into my phone. When I saw the screen, it was Aisha!
Me: hello banker. How are you doing?
Aisha: Collins. Saanu kwana uku (it has been a long time). You have forgotten me abi?
Me: Aisha I didn’t forget you. Remember we have e-statement activated and most of our transactions are being done at your branch closer to the church.
Aisha: ok o Short Man Devil. I will be coming to your office tomorrow morning.
Me: Ba damuwa (no problem)
Aisha: kina ji Hausa? (Can you speak Hausa?)
Me: Hausa keremi keremi (I can speak little)
Aisha: (laughs) Sai gobe (we’ll see tomorrow)
Me: Tau (OK). Yoo wa, yoo ri ti o po
Aisha: Collins, you will never change
Me: Amen (call ends)
I turned to see Iyoaye fuming with rage
Iyoaye: WHO IS THAT?
Me: that is our Account Officer Aisha
Iyoaye: (calmed down) ok. I thought it is one of these girls that always come to your office.
Me: what do you take me for? (getting angry)
Iyoaye: (coming closer to me to calm me down) I am sorry for making you angry. I thought I was just a cheap “PLEASURE WORKER” to you that was why I asked.
She moved closer to me and placed her Weapon of Mass Defence to my mouth, I grabbed it and sucked it like I have been starved of food for 14days. After a while, I undressed her and …….

I woke up in the middle of the night only to see Iyoaye Weapon of Mass Defence rested on my chest. I stood up to take a glass of water in the kitchen only to find out that we did not lock the main entrance to my apartment. I locked it and went back to the sitting room. I started pondering over my life, when I will settle down. I jolted back to reality when Iyoaye touched my chin.
Iyoaye: You are not sleeping why?
Me: (hissed) I don’t feel like
Iyoaye: what are you thinking about dear? (sits beside me)
Me: everything.
Iyoaye: so, am I part of what you are thinking about?
Instead of answering her, I faced her with a glare in my eyes and went straight for her lips and started kissing her. She responded back and we kissed like hungry lions. I went for her Weapon of Mass Defence and as I was sucking it I took my fingers to her navel. She shuddered and started shaking like a fowl drenched in the rain. I continued my business and used one finger down to the holiest. I started “manipulation” her and she was responding by grinding her waist to me. She pushed me to sit on the chair and started sucking my OPA-MOSE and mouth – fcuking me. I used my hands to rub her hair and her back while she was being gagged. After 7 minutes, she sat facing me and started riding me I used one of my hands to squeeze her Weapon of Mass Destruction while the other hand was being used to squeeze the trigger of her Weapon of Mass Defence. We fcuked for some minutes and we reverted to the usual and always common style – the Missionary Style. We both climaxed some minutes after and we slept off.

TBC
[nextpage title=”episode 10″]

Episode 10

When I got to office the following morning, I tidied my entire desk and reconciled all accounts respectively. But around 10am I was hearing some scuffle and noise outside. When I got outside, I saw the Head Pastor and Pst. Onihaxy arguing and shouting at each other. We tried to settle the rift and I later discovered that Pst. Onihaxy was flirting with three sisters in the choir. I left them honourably and returned back into my office. At around 1pm, the receptionist informed me that Aisha was around. As soon as she entered, I called the receptionist that I don’t want disturbance from anybody. I locked up my office and the following dialogue ensued
Aisha: Short Man Devil, how are you?
Me: I am good, and you? (I was moving closer to her)
Aisha: Collins, please I don’t want us to do this today. When I got home the last time, my husband was back from UK and when we were at the stadium I mistakenly mentioned your name
Me: (laughing uncontrollably) so short man devil is so strong like that?
Aisha: it is just that I had to convince him very hard that I was not dating anybody.
I went to where she sat, blew some air to her ears, she threw her head backwards and I started smooching her Weapons of Mass Defence. I said to her ears
Me: do you need the short man devil NOW?
Aisha: (quietly) yesssssss….. I need him real baaaddd…..
I gently removed her shirt and unhooked her bra when I was about sucking, a call came into my phone
Aisha: please ignore it
I saw the screen and it was Head Pastor!

I received his call and after he had given me some directives, I ended his call
Aisha: please switch off your phone. Like a zombie, I switched it off. I started sucking her Weapons of Mass Defence while she was massaging my OPA _ MOSE. Then as I went down to suck her holiest, I discovered that she was “PADDED”. Chei market don spoil today. When she knew I discovered, she placed my OPA-MOSE to her mouth and sucked me until I exploded into her mouth, and she swallowed it all and clean me thoroughly,
Aisha: I’m sorry it started some hours ago..
Me: Don’t worry.
I stylishly sprayed air freshener into the office to kill the odour. As soon as she left, Iyoaye came into my office.
Iyoaye: hope you had a nice time with her?
Me: as how Iyo?
Iyoaye: I was at the back of your window when she came in and I overheard all what you people said……listen Accountant, today I will expose you.
Me: please Iyoaye. There is absolutely nothing going on between me and her
Iyoaye: You are a liar Accountant. I recorded all what transpired so leave me alone you dog!!!
As she was about leaving, I held her but when she turned to me I saw a face that blood was dripping and she had the teeth of vampires and as soon as she wanted to open it to bite me…… I woke up with a start……
Aisha: you have slept for over 20minutes. O n sun bi efon (you are sleeping like a mosquito)
Me: I didn’t know when I fell asleep.
Aisha: I’m about going. I just wanna check on you.
Me: Thanks.
Aisha stood up where she sat and came to my place and gave me a kiss and squeezed my OPA-MOSE. I returned by squeezing her Weapons of Mass Defence. We broke up and straightened up. I escorted her outside only to see Iyoaye face red with anger. As soon as I returned, Iyoaye came into my office
Iyoaye: what did that s1ut came to do?
Me: excuse me?
Iyoaye: you heard me correctly. What did that s1ut came to do in your office?
I was boiling inside but I had to keep my calm. When I was about to respond, Pst. Onihaxy came into my office
Pst. Onihaxy: Accountant, what about the consumables that you ought to have bought?
Me: I haven’t bought them
Pst. Onihaxy: so, when do you want to buy it?
Me: when I have the time
Pst. Onihaxy: ok. But I want to ask for a small loan
Me: Kudi/Ego/Owo is not available
Pst. Onihaxy: what do you mean by that? I need it and I need it now!
Me: sorry Pastor. I can’t.
Pst. Onihaxy: do you realize you are talking to me?
Me: yes of course.
He left in annoyance and I ordered Iyoaye out of my office. After a while, I went to the bookshop but before I got there, I overheard the conversation going on in Pst. Onihaxy office
Pst. Onihaxy: that your accountant is too pompous
Iyoaye: that is not his nature; he is a gentleman to the core
Pst. Onihaxy: wetin? He don dey sexvice you?
Iyoaye: pastor! You are taking it too far! Iru oro yen ko gbodo ti enu yin jade (it is too costly for you to say such words sir)
Pst. Onihaxy: I told you to decamp to our party and let us take good care of you….
Iyoaye: (sneered) hmm. Pasito wey dey ask for loan dey tell me say make I decamp
Both of them fell into laughter and I tiptoed back to office.

TBC
[nextpage title=”episode 11″]
Episode 11

I was still working when I got a new Whatsapp notification on my phone. When I read it, it read “missing u badly – Idowu”. It was strange because the number was not part of the number I have on my phone. Later, the number called me
Caller: Lover boy that forgot his mama
Me: Eh. Mama wey no wan make I know am
Caller: how are you?
Me: I am fine. But please who are you?
Caller: I know you have forgotten all about me. This is Dcns Emeka
Me: (surprised) Dcns. it is well o. where have you been?
Dcns Emeka: you never called me or even asked of me all this while. Well, I am in Effurun at the moment.
Me: Mama! Aka Ajala travelled all over the world
Dcns Emeka: I missed you seriously.
Me: I missed you too….even I missed your “twin – towers”
Dcns Emeka: (laughed and purred) I missed SHORT MAN DEVIL
Me: so what took the almighty deaconess to Effurun?
Dcns Emeka: do you know the person you called the other time when we were together at Molete? That you said he works at FUPRE and you connected me with him? He called me some weeks back that he wants to organize some training so he gave me the project for the organization and preparation. The training started three days ago and it will end by weekend.
Me: wow. Well, don’t forget to come and pay your dues when you come back.
Dcns Emeka: naughty boy. I won’t. I will chat with you later. Bye (ends call)
I was surprised that Dcns could get the job. Because that day when we were still in the hotel room, he called me to congratulate me for the new job I got and I casually told him that I have someone who is a very good contractor…

Iyoaye and I reconciled our differences and we were getting closer by the day and people have been gossiping about it in the church. One day I called her to my office
Me: Iyo, people have started talking about us in the church the way we are getting too close. And I think we should find a solution about it.
Iyoaye: Collins, what should we do about it?
Me: how much do you have in savings?
Iyoaye: a little over a hundred thousand naira.
Me: can you secure a shop so that you will be able to have time for yourself and people won’t be gossiping about us in the church.
Iyoaye: but I don’t have the money to rent a shop.
Me: I will try to raise the funds, but I am not promising you.
Iyoaye: (very happy) I am grateful.
She wanted to come and meet me to give me a kiss but I restrained her
Me: remember that we are in the office.
Iyoaye: Ok sir
She left and it was as if my eyes were cleared. What did I just do?

On Saturday afternoon when Dcns Emeka came into town she sent me a text to meet her at our usual spot. When I got there, and I entered the room, she came to give me a hug
Dcns Emeka: Lover boy I missed you.
Me: Dcns I missed you too (kissed her)
Dcns Emeka: Call me Idowu please. Well, my journey was splendid but hectic. I came in this morning and I have been sleeping all day
Me: na wa. So you’ve been here since morning and you didn’t call me?
Dcns Emeka: se o fe pami abi? (do you want to kill me?) I sleep only 3hrs daily when the training was going on
Me: Ok ooo (held her by her waist) so what did you bring for your lover boy?
She looked into my eyes and I could see lust burning in those eyeballs.
Dcns Emeka: let’s shower together
We went into the bathroom and showered together. She went on her knees and placed my semi – erect OPA – MOSE into her mouth. She sucked me for some minutes and I released into her mouth. She swallowed everything and cleaned me up. We went into the bedroom and she went on all fours and I penetrated her from the back.I fcuked her in different styles for fifteen minutes before I released powerfully into her. When we were through, she gave me a cheque
Me: what is this cheque for?
Dcns Emeka: I want to use it to appreciate you for what you did.
When i checked it, I saw a seven digit figure.
Me: It is too much Idowu.
Dcns Emeka: sweetie, I wished to give you more but please keep it for yourself.
Me: tau. Nagode (thanks)
Dcns Emeka: Collins, I have “not too bad” news for you……..

Dcns Emeka: (her eyes were misty) I will be relocating back to the states next week to join my family.
Me: ah!!!! Why are you just telling me? (tears were forming in my eyes) please don’t leave me alone
I realized I have fallen in love with her
Dcns Emeka: (sobbing) I wished to stay back but my children are pressuring me to come over
I hugged her and we both cried. When we stopped crying, we made …….. one more time and (trust your man) I released powerfully into her.

Epilogue
Dcns Emeka left finally on Monday. She got pregnant almost immediately she got there, Aisha got a better job and also went to join her family in London, Iyoaye and I got married, both of us resigned from the church work and we now live big and powerful

THE END!

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