Susan knew what Tunji was about to do, yet the hole created by the impact of his fist on the dining table, coupled with the loud sound given off, made her back into the wall in fear, closing her eyes and tightening her fist over her ears trying to block out what she didn’t know.
His blow to the table had broken the silence created by her accusation. An accusation which even she, knew was stupid.
This was the first time Tunji had ever shown any sign of anger since their wedding day. He had always been gentle, patient and calm with her, even though she knew many of the smiles he gave off were strained.
What was worse was that Susan knew she had riled him into this.
“I am going to walk out of here now,” Tunji said with clenched teeth, “When I return, I am going to act like you didn’t just accuse me of having an affair. I am going to ignore how funny it is that you would accuse me of going after other women when you would not even let me touch you as your husband.”
The bang of the door alerted Susan to Tunji’s exit out of the house, that was when she loosened her fist.
Sliding down the wall, she sat on the floor and cried.
She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately as she didn’t seem know what else to do.
She loved Tunji, she knew she did, but for some unknown reason, she couldn’t stop hurting him. She couldn’t bring herself to submit totally to him.
This was almost three years and there was still apart of herself she held back from him. The part she was supposed to have submitted to him, considering that they have been married for three months.
She always had abstinence until marriage as an excuse to why she would not allow him show her any physical affection, while they were courting.
Since their wedding night, she ran out of excuses.
As the tears flowed down her eyes, she cursed Tunde over and over; he was the cause of all her pain. She could not even allow a good man love her, because of the wickedness shown her by a bad man.
“May God punish you immensely,” she said out loud, the bitterness audible in her voice. “May you also feel this pain I feel, Tunde. May your marriage be disturbed the way your wickedness is disturbing my marriage. May you know no…”
Her heavy words were interrupted by her ringing phone. Getting up from the floor, she hurried to pick the call before it stopped ringing. She hoped it was Tunji calling, even though she knew the possibility was slim.
Tunji had once jokingly accused her of not loving him enough since she did not have a special ring tone for him. Her ring tone on his phone was ‘My Everything’ by Michael Bubble.
She saw no need to give him a special ring tone, she had told him. If the need arises, she would give him one. She had acted like she didn’t see the hurt in his eyes which he had quickly smiled away.