Episode One.
Right from when I was 9 years old, I had made up my mind never to be poor, having seen how my parents had suffered to train us.
My Elder sister, Hannatu was forced into early marriage to Alhaji Ayuba, a popular car dealer in Gusua, Zamfara State as the fourth five, just to elevate the family’s poverty.
Hannatu was just sixteen when she was given out in marriage which automatically halted her education, making her stop school in SSS 1. Unfortunately, her marriage never brought the desired proceed to the family. The intention my parents had was to get Hannatu into marriage in order to help train me and my siblings in school but all to no avail.
Without doubt, I’ve always known that I am a bright child, but no help from anywhere to train me in school. When I was fifteen, I have to drop from school to pick up a menial job just to assist my family. I was taken to Lagos by my father’s friend who buys and sells cola nut. He buys in bulk from the north to sell in Lagos. He engaged me as one of his truck boys. We follow the truck from Katsina to Lagos to help load and offload. The risk of the job was in our numerous night journeys where we had to narrowly escape death severally from armed robbers’ attacks and accidents. Even though I was the youngest among Alhaji Danladi’s truck boys, I was hard working and dedicated to work. I rarely complain about work knowing where I came from. My weekly returns mean a lot to my family so I dare not joke with work.
After working with Alh Danladi for three years, I opened a savings account and began to save a token into the account. After two years I had saved N350,000. By this time I was already twenty years old yet to complete my secondary school education. I told my dad of my plan to go back to school, but the idea did not go well with him considering the amount I remit every week to assist the family. I enrolled for extra moral classes to prepare me for WAEC, but I hardly had time to attend, due to my job.
For obvious reasons, living my job wasn’t an option. I sat for WAEC and NECO simultaneously. I managed to have four credits in my Neco and three in my WAEC. With my results I applied for admission into School of Basic and Remedial Studies, A branch of Ahmadu Bello University. After the remedial course I was offered admission to study Accounting.
It was really a hard time schooling without help. My time in campus was characterized with hunger and self denial. My suffering in campus became minimal when I meet Jocelyn. Jocelyn was the daughter of former Kaduna State Deputy Governor. She lived in affluence and hardly attend lectures. I became her school boy, I helped her do all her assignments and even tests. She bought me a Chinese bike to ease my movement. I also became her errand boy using the bike to run errands for her. She pays my bills and had even helped pay my school fees on many occasions. I practically do everything for her including buying her pads and undies. I helped her make withdrawals at the ATM because Jocelyn will never stand in a queue. Even some departmental documentations that require her attention, I will stand in queue for her then call her when is her turn. In our final year she began to take me to their house in Kaduna and in no time I became a friend to the family.
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Episode Two
No guy could approach Jocelyn for a relationship in the whole of ABU because of her status and high mindedness. She was too classic for many guys, so she was avoided. Even lecturers danced to her tune. Her few female friends were just like a robot-like relationship, she dictated to them while they worshipped her like one semi goddess.
Even though she has money and everything she needed, you could still notice this emptiness and loneliness around her. Money could not give her the true companionship she desired. Of course she began to make passes at me. Her pride will not let her come openly to ask me out. Even though I knew what she wanted I didn’t assume, I wanted her to humble herself and ask for what she wanted. It took Jocelyn so long time to make her intention known, she wants an affair with me.
Jocelyn and I then began our relationship journey. That type of relationship where you really don’t have a say. A relationship where you are just being used for selfish interests. Well, I have been her errand boy for closely three years, submitting to her to keep life going, sure wasn’t a problem anyway. At a time, I didn’t know what I was, whether a boyfriend or an errand boy. Even when I was promoted from an errand boy to a boyfriend I almost could not see any difference because I still run those errands like before. Everything happens the way she wants it, I hardly tell her no. I was a yes, yes boyfriend. I was not really bothered because we were already winding up our studies and I knew NYSC will post us apart. I love Jocelyn except for her pride. The reality of her pride never done on me because our relationship was a boss-servant-like union. She dished out the commands and I obeyed, she planned, while I execute etc.
We graduated on the 16th of February and I thought I would have temporarily relief from Jocelyn, but I was wrong. She never told me she had discussed with her father to influence our posting to Abuja. When our call-up letter came I screamed out in joy when i glanced at mine and saw Abuja. She immediately stretched her letter to me, I took it and opened and it was Abuja too then I knew it was her handwork. She wasn’t surprised like I was, so she just put on a gentle smile. This is another one year of slavery in Jocelyn’s world, I told myself. I took everything in good fate thinking of the benefits of serving in Abuja, FCT. After our three weeks orientation we were both posted to NNPC Abuja for our primary assignment. Everything was planned ahead of time.
What is your plan about us after our youth service, Jocelyn asked me without looking at my face. While I was still putting together my thoughts she began to reply her question. My dad had discussed with the Minister of Petroleum to retain us here after our youth service but only one chance is guaranteed. My dad agreed they should retain me while he get you another job in another parastatal. We will wed a month after our passing out parade and settle down here in Abuja, she said all these without given me chance to say anything in response. But will I be happy if I marry Jocelyn? Won’t she be the husband and me the wife? Will she ever take order from me? Will she submit to me? Can I maintain this standard of her lifestyle? Am I doing the right thing? Do I truly love Jocelyn or her money? Many thoughts ran through my mind.
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Episode Three
We finished our service and Jocelyn was retained as a finance clerk in NNPC Abuja with robust and mouth watering emoluments. I really couldn’t make serious savings while serving because my family responsibilities had grown bigger than normal. Two of my siblings were to enter into the university at the same year and all their financial burden was on me. The demands from my parents were more at this time, especially when they heard I was working in NNPC. I spent every dim I got on my family during my service year. While serving, we lived in Jocelyn’s father’s guest house in Maitama, a part of Abuja with a very high cost of living. It wasn’t my headache anyway, because everything was available for us.
Jocelyn’s father never wanted us together but Jocelyn has a way of brainwashing her father and twisting his hand to get everything she wanted. I was afraid of the marriage I was going into because I knew I was going to be an elevated house boy rather than a husband but I can’t say no to Jocelyn especially because of all the help she had rendered to me while I was in school. I would have been ungrateful if I make her unhappy. Jocelyn made me who I am today. She helped me when I could not afford my school bills and now she needs my consent for marriage, I can’t tell her no. Anytime the issue of our marriage is discussed, my heart is never at peace but I have no option than to wave away the fears. How can I go into a marriage I won’t be able to contribute a dime to the wedding plans? The N60,000 in my account can do nothing considering Jocelyn’s high taste.
We began to plan for our wedding, I was just like a rubber stamp to all Jocelyn’s decisions. Of course what do you expect, the rich decides, the poor obeys. Jocelyn’s wedding gown alone was about a million naira, it was ordered from the US. The wedding expenses were just excessively much. Funds that should have been given to me to start a good business with. The promise to get me a job in another parastatal never materialized. I depended on Jocelyn for factually everything. I attempted picking a teaching job in a private school with a salary of N35000 but she talked it down and discouraged me from picking a job that will relegate the status of her family. We got married without my input. My family were relatively happy as they see my marriage to Jocelyn as liberation from poverty.
We had no minute of time together with my wife two days after our wedding. All attentions were on guests and dignitaries who attended our wedding. Nobody seems to bother about me as all attention was on my wife. She was lavished with costly gifts and with many cash gifts. The minister of the Federal Capital Territory dashed my wife a Toyota Camry car and all documents registered in her maiden name. The only gift I received as husband was a copy of king James Bible, three packaged shirts and N50,000 cash gift. One week after our wedding, we didn’t do as husband and wife, not even a kiss. After our wedding we were given an apartment of three bedroom flat in central area. Her father furnished the house with everything with a special attention to her room. The second room was mine while the third was arranged as a guest room. In this part of the North, it was our culture to dedicate a room for our wives in which her father will furnished before or during her wedding. It wasn’t a big deal seeing Jocelyn’s room adorned with costly and beautiful house wares.
Even though we were married, I couldn’t go to her room or initiate any conjugal intimacy. All the time we dated we never had sex, not even a kiss. I was a Christian so I didn’t bother asking her for sex in the days of courtship. We never had time to sit and talk about our marriage. The three weeks of her leave elapsed and we had no single time of intimacy. She resumed work and our marriage became more of a jungle marriage than romantic relationship. She lives for work as early as 7am and returns later in the evening very tired. She barely finished her food before dosing off. Most days she will be so tired that she won’t visit the dinning. I do all the house chores including cooking and washing her clothes. I was married but lonely.
Saturdays are her work free days but she has a small boutique in Wuse where she visits to supervise her sales representatives. Most Sundays, Jocelyn doesn’t go to church, she uses Sunday to rest. Four weeks after our wedding we had not had sex because there wasn’t any ground for it. On my part it was difficult for me to initiate it because Jocelyn was not different from the bossy lady I used to run errands for while in the university. My marriage was a web of wealth. I began to contact my friends for advice. The first person I called was Evans. Evans had been married for five years and his marriage is enviable. He taught me how to make the move for sex and how to be bold and take my place as the husband. I will make the first move tonight using all the strategies Evans taught me, I told myself.
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Episode Four
When she came back from work that day, I began to tell her sweet things like, Jocelyn I love you dearly, you are a beautiful woman, you are the pride of your generation, an epitome of dignity and royalty etc. These I had rehearsed all day awaiting my wife as I was taught by my friend Evans. She rarely gave attention to my rhymes as she walked pass me waving her hand and heading straight to her room. I rushed into the kitchen to arrange her dinner. Evans had taught me to serve her on the bed. In ten minutes I was done, well packaged meal with a royal touch. When I got to her room Jocelyn was fast asleep. She went to bed with her shoes and her office dress intact.
I was really discouraged and disappointed because of all the stress I went through to prepare the meal. My inability to make love to my wife that night was not as painful as the wasted effort put into preparing the meal. I stood by her bedside for almost three minutes not knowing what to do. I made attempt to wake her up but she was snoring loudly. But will this food waste seeing how much money and time I have put into it? I tapped her arm and she made an unconscious turn, her left hand went straight to the tray in my hand and it slipped from my hand and everything dropped to the floor. The sound of the accident woke Jocelyn. What was that? She asked gently and continued her sleep. For about twenty minutes I was cleaning up the mess. I gave up on my plan that on night and went to bed very sad.
I called Evans to update him on what happened and he laughed me to scorn. Why are you laughing at me Evans, I asked him angry. He advised me to repeat same process the following day. I was sorry for myself. One month old marriage without intimacy. Nothing seemed to bother Jocelyn as everything seemed normal to her. How can a woman be married for one month without coming close to her husband, even if not for the pleasure, at least for the sake of raising children. I encouraged myself and decided I will try again the following day.
I was preparing her another delicacy for dinner when she called me to inform me her sister would be visiting us. “Please include her for dinner tonight” she said.
Kauna arrived in Abuja at about 5:60pm around the time Jocelyn normally comes back home. When she closed from work, she headed to the airport to pick Kauna. Kauna was to spend two weeks with us for her vacation. When they came back, I served them dinner and they ate and talked till midnight. Then I began to wonder why Jocelyn was always coming back home looking so tired everyday. The presence of her sister changed everything in the house. Jocelyn now comes early everyday. She eats dinner with her sister regularly without giving me any attention.
With Kauna in the house my mission was put on hold for another two weeks. Kauna did not use the guest room for one day, she slept with her sister on her bed while I slept alone in my room. Six weeks after my marriage, I haven’t known my wife as husband and wife. What kind of marriage is this…….?
*
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Episode Five
Kauna was more friendly and more attractive than Jocelyn. While her sister is away only the two of us were left in the house. The promise to get me a job was forgotten. I spent most of my time at home. The two weeks vacation brought me closer to Kauna than my wife. We gist, watch movies together and we eat together whenever her sister is not around. Kauna began to have feelings for me. As beautiful as kauna is, she does not have a boyfriend yet she was in 300 level in the university. This seemed to be a trend in their house because of their status in the society.
If I had met Kauna earlier than Jocelyn and I was given an option, I would have chosen Kauna. The unthinkable started happening when she began doing some irresistible and provocative dressing in the house. I thought I was a disciplined Christian until I began to lust and fall for Kauna. All her body languages and seductive moves were well understood by me.
Two days to the end of her vacation, she went to take her bath in the general bathroom instead of using the bathroom in Jocelyn’s room. The general bathroom is such that you have to pass through the sitting room to get in and out. She targeted me before acting her drama when I was deeply buried in Chelsea Vs ManU match. On her way back from the bathroom she pretended to have slipped from the tiled floor, she fell down and was screaming. I rushed to assist her but her towel was almost off her body, any attempt to lift her up will make the towel fall off her body. I knew the whole drama was to get at me so I played in. I lifted her and the towel fell, I pretended as if I was shy and wanted her to tie up her towel but she was bold. Why are you hiding your face, don’t you like what you are seeing? She asked me in a romantic voice. Her screams for pain was all part of the script. Carry me up, she requested. I crossed my right hand around her waist and lifted her with my left hand and that was it. I committed adultery, not just with any woman but my own sister-in-law. I did my first honeymoon at the lap of my sister-in-law instead of my wife after seven weeks of marriage.
That experience was like a mustard seed planted on my mind. I needed more of such experience. My wife was not available but her sister was available and ready so I pitched my tent in her arms. Kauna extended her vacation with one week, all in an attempt to get enough of me. Our sexual romp became a daily affair right under her sister’s roof for one week two days. My plan to make my wife a woman was since forgotten. Her sister had stolen my heart and gave me what she couldn’t give me for more than a month.
After Kauna reluctantly left, I missed her so much because my loneliness resumed and all my experience with her was cut short. My fear of God was thrown to the waste bin. Am I the cause or Jocelyn? I knew this was going to affect my relationship with God but I couldn’t resist Kauna. Jocelyn was not available, Kauna was available. We kept communicating with Kauna after she left. Kauna gave me emotional appetizer but not available to give me the real meal. I resumed my plan to get at my wife. This time I must do ot or else I will walk out of the marriage and build my tent with Kauna.
Before you condemn me help me advice women who normally deny their husbands sex to desist from it…
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Episode Six
That day I was bold. “I will walk straight to her room and demand for my marital right” I told myself. If she denies me then that will be my basis for walking out of the marriage. How is she able to cope without intimacy with her husband for close to two months? Maybe she’s seeing someone else? I began to imagine what type of woman Jocelyn was. I didn’t bother to prepare any special meal this time, why must I lure my own wife into making love with her? I will take what belongs to me today. I assured myself.
She was a bit early today, she came back some few minutes pass five. As she was entering her room I followed her behind. Welcome Jocelyn, how was work today? I greeted. Fine, what can I do for you, she asked and giving a sign that connotes hurry up and ask for what you want and leave. This time it isn’t money or any material things, I want you, I want to make love to my wife. This is two months we’ve been married and I have never seen your pant, today I want us to do what husband and wife normally do. She looked at me with disdain, you want to do what husband and wife use to do but you have never done what men used to do. How much did you spend in our wedding? Since I knew you what have you ever bought for me? Not even a bra or earrings. Now you want to do what husband and wife normally do, come and do it now let me see you. Selfish man, I will go to work from morning till evening almost every day just to put food on the table for you and now you are asking me for sex without ever considering my feelings and how tedious my job is. Come and do it let me see you. She talked like the marriage wasn’t her idea.
I moved closed to her trying to touch her but she gave me a push that landed me on the flood. I became very angry, how can a woman molest me this way? This is the time to show her that I maybe poor but I am still a man. I stood up in anger and grabbed her like I was going to fight her. We struggled together for minutes and I overpowered her and tried to get into her forcefully. “Are you trying to rape me?” She asked helplessly. I didn’t mind her anyway. I took it by force. “The kingdom of God suffers violence and the violent take it by force” I quoted the Bible.
I left her there and went back to my room. I heard her making some calls minutes later. Jocelyn had called her father telling him how I abused and raped her. One hour later I heard a knock at the door, but before i could get there, Jocelyn did. To my surprise two police officers were behind the door.
“Hello, are you Patrick Hassan?” One the police officers asked me.
“Yes I am, how may I help you?” I replied.
“You are under arrest for rape, physical abuse and attempted murder” he said.
Quickly I asked the police officers, can a husband rape his wife? They didn’t answer my question as they ordered me to move. I was handcuffed like a criminal and taken away for making love to my wife after two months of denial.
What should I have done? Continue to look at my wife like mirror? I was tortured for three days without anybody coming to take my bail. This is purely oppression of the poor by the rich. Jocelyn just used the hand of wealth to slap me. I was kept with hardened criminals while in cell. When I was finally asked to write a statement, I was forced to write what they dictated to me. Anytime I tried to raise an objection the police officer will hit me with his baton. I was made to write a statement to rope me into what was not the true picture of what happened….
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Episode Seven
I was released after three days with an undertaking that I will never engage her in any violent activity again. I signed the undertaking knowing what was in my mind. I will only return to that house to pick my things. I am tired of the marriage that enslaved me. The day I was released, Kauna sent me N30,000 to book a hotel for her around Jabi claiming they are having a workshop that may likely not finish on time and coming to her sister’s place may just be impossible after the workshop. I told her everything that happened between me and her sister and how I was locked up for three days in a police cell. She felt sorry and promised we will talk about it when she comes to Abuja.
Her flight was 11am and by 12:32pm she called.
“I am in the airport come and lead me to the hotel let me have some rest before the workshop”. Immediately I left for the airport with a charted taxi. The same taxi drove us straight to the hotel. Kauna placed order for two plates of food while she rushed to take her shower. Patrick, there’s no any workshop anywhere, I came to Abuja just to see you. I have not been able to sleep since I left you. I have been having sleepless nights because of you. I became a regular adulterer, sleeping with my sister-in-law without remorse. All attempt to preach to myself didn’t yield any positive result as the force of lust became stronger than the voice of my conscience.
Satisfaction was written all over Kauna’s face. You better start going before she starts to suspect. Kauna advised me at about 3:30pm. I am not going anywhere, we will pass the night together here. She bought a return ticket scheduled for 8am the following day. I did that to see how Jocelyn will react if I didn’t sleep at home. When she got home and didn’t see me she called but I refused to pick her call. Fifteen minutes later she sent me a text, “Patrick where are you?”. I didn’t reply either. Later again she sent another one, ” I am famished, come and get me something to eat”. Can you imagine the stupidity of pride. A man you locked up for three days? In my mind I said, may that hunger kill you. I put off my phone and continued with Kauna.
We checked out by 6am in order to catch her 8am flight. I was with her at the airport until she boarded. Kauna begged me not to carry out my plan to leave the house. I consented because I din’t want to hurt her. But this time I won’t be a full-time house husband. I will pick up a job regardless the amount. I want to be leaving home and coming back in the evening too. I want my own income no matter how small.
As I left the airport I put on my phone and messages of threat from Jocelyn flooded my phone. I was not worried because Kauna dropped some money with me that could keep me on for few days. When I got home I showered, changed my clothes and took my credentials in search of work. The first point of call was the private school that offered me N35,000 before. We have filled the space but we will accept you if you are willing to work with us. We only have space in the nursery at the moment, if you don’t mind you can resume tomorrow since you have attended our interview before, the principal told me. I was happy and
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Episode Eight
When Jocelyn came back from work that day she began to rant, throwing words at me.
“Where did you sleep last night? Where did you go without a word? You left without preparing anything for dinner knowing I will be tired when I come back. You can’t provide yet you can’t keep the house. I can’t go to work from morning till evening everyday and you will expect me to come back and still enter the kitchen. I have been taking care of you since our university days but you never appreciate for one day”. These and more were her words.
I allowed her finish and asked her, “are you the wife or I am? Who is to cook, you or me? When we were in the university I was your errand boy, now I am your husband. It’s true I have not been able to provide but that doesn’t make you the husband or the head. I am making things right soon and everyone will know where he or she belongs. Coolval stories I have gotten a job and I will be resuming tomorrow. I am also moving out of this house soon, I have began to look for a smaller apartment I can afford. When I get it, you will either move with me or stay here and be married to yourself. For the period I will carry out all these plans, I won’t touch any house chore, cook or do anything in this house again. As for having sex with you, I won’t come near you again to avoid police molestation but be sure you can’t stop me from doing it elsewhere with another woman”.
Jocelyn was shocked too to hear me speak in such a manner as I have never talked to her this way before.
Without saying a word she walked into her room. For three days we didn’t talk to each other. I resumed with Alheri School as a nursery teacher the following day. Our relationship took a new turn as I kept to my promises. I didn’t eat her food nor touch anything that belonged to her for three days. She must have thought I won’t be able to keep my promises but I did and one week gone I was still standing. She became restless and desired to know my source of survival but I ignored her. She got tired and managed to say hi whenever she came back from work. One week became one month and nothing change. It was better for me because I enjoyed a relative freedom for this one month, at least I felt like a man again.
Kauna kept sending me money and making sure I lacked nothing. When it became obvious to Jocelyn that I won’t stoop low to return back to my slavery lifestyle again, she began looking for ways to get me back.
For the first time Jocelyn swallowed her pride and acted like a woman. I was in my room that night when I heard a beep on my phone, it was Jocelyn sending me a text message from her room, “Patrick can I see you in my room?”. I waited for about thirty minutes before I replied, “I am busy now, I will join you when I am less busy”, I replied. I felt good momentarily keeping her on hold, something that has never happened in our relationship before. After an hour I joined her. “You said you want to see me, here I am”. “Sit down and let’s talk”, she pointed at the bed. I reluctantly sat by the edge of the bed.
“How long do you think you can do without me? You left home without a word, didn’t cook or do anything in the house yet you failed to explain where you slept. You owe me an explanation and an apology. I have something to tell you but you must apologize to me first”.
“Jocelyn, I don’t owe you any apology, you owe me instead. I maybe poor but I’ve not lost my senses. You arrested me for making love to you after one month of our marriage and made me suffer in the hands of the police and you want me to apologize to you. It is you who owe me an apology and not the other way round
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Episode Nine
In all the years I have known Jocelyn, I have never seen her apologize to anyone, not even when she is obviously wrong. Hence I wasn’t expecting any apology from her but I have chosen never to apologize to her too. Let her experience the same wound and pain she has caused many people. Instead of her to apologize, she picked her phone and made a mobile transfer of N50,000 instantly into my account. “Check your phone”, she told me. I checked my phone and it was a beep of the alert for the transaction. “What is the money for?” I asked. “Its for you”, she replied. Thanks, I said.
“So where did you get a job?” Jocelyn asked me. “Same school that offered me a job before”, I told her. “But I thought we agreed that daddy will get you a more dignifying job and not this child’s play you call a job. How much will they pay you in a month? A job that has no iota of security and dignity. Why are you impatient? Please daddy must not hear this, he will definitely stop his bid to get you a better job. Please go and resign the job and I will pay you any amount they offered”. She pestered my life until I had to resign my appointment. We began to do like husband and wife but we could go a whole week without having sexual intimacy. It only happened when she deemed it fit and what I feel matter less but what she feels.
On the 4th of April I got a text from Kauna, “Patrick I am pregnant”. I called her immediately I saw the text but she didn’t pick her call. I tried again but she ignored my call. I kept trying and later her phone was switched off. I was worried and afraid of what will happen next. Jocelyn’s father will kill me if he hears about this. I began to think of what to do next. “Should I run away? Should we go for abortion? What if something goes wrong during the abortion?” This is really a cross road for me. I just impregnated my sister-in-law, the daughter of a former Deputy Governor.
Throughout that day Kauna did not switch on her phone. That made me more worried and restless. This is a burden I cannot discuss with anyone, not even my closest friend, Evans. I was moody and sick. Jocelyn noticed my mood but I couldn’t tell her what my problem was. All through the night I kept trying Kauna’s number but to no avail. At this time I knew I needed God to help me, but I have been far away from him. I abandoned him to give my flesh what it desired. I knelt down by my bedside to pray to God, “father I am a prodigal son and I have realized my foolishness, please take me back like the father of the prodigal son took him back.” My prayers carried no weight because my words were weak like a convicted criminal before a Judge.
By 8am the following morning, Kauna called to brief me about the pregnancy. “What do we do now?” I asked her in confusion. “I don’t know too and that’s why I am calling you. The pregnancy is already seven weeks and we need to do something very fast.” “Have you told anybody about it?” I asked. “No except my school friend, she was the first to discover I was pregnant. She took me to her doctor and I was confirmed to be seven weeks pregnant.” We were on phone for almost three minutes and non of us could say a word or hang up the phone.
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Episode Ten
Kauna refused to confess to her family who was responsible for her pregnancy. She endured all the persecutions and intimidations for a whole month. I begged her to let us run away together since she has chosen not to get an abortion. I made her realise the implications of our action but she seemed to have a hidden plan. My silence became my nightmare to me. This is the time I needed to talk to someone about my plight.
I called our pastor to confide in him and seek his counsel. Pastor Lanre was really disappointed on hearing my confession. His first statement broke my heart so badly. “A man who set his house on fire must inhale the smoke of the fire, you must take responsibility for your action”, he said. He sounded a bit harsh on me as he rained insults on me. “You have to confess your sin to your wife and father-in-law before they discover you are responsible for the pregnancy,” he counseled. But how can I stand before my wife and tell her I impregnated her sister or before my no nonsense father-in-law that I impregnated his daughter? This is the most difficult thing to do this time.
I begged pastor Lanre to assist me because I was loosing my mind. He led me in a short prayer of confession and asked me to give him my wife’s number. I dictated the number and he stored it on his phone. “You will be placed on three days dry fasting starting right away. I will see you after I must have talked to your wife. You may go,” he said. I left pastor’s office like Adam who was driven from Eden. Going back to the house was like going to hell. On the third and the last day of my fast, pastor was in the house as early as 7:30am. About fifteen minutes later, Jocelyn’s father joined us with her mother. When Jocelyn’s parents came in, I knew that was all for me. I was shriving like a man whom rain had beaten. Without anybody telling me I knew what the meeting was for.
Pastor Lanre opened the meeting with a short prayer and greeted everyone seated. Jocelyn was agitated and restless because pastor Lanre hadn’t told her the purpose of the meeting. Pastor Lanre took up his Bible, preached a long sermon on forgiveness and mercy. Everyone was quiet waiting for pastor to break the news but he was perambulating from one idiom to the other. After all his long sermon he broke the news. “Sir, Kauna is pregnant and unfortunately your son-in-law, brother Patrick is responsible” he has not finish his statement when Jocelyn left her seat and bounced on me, gave me a hot bite by my right arm and the drama began. Pastor was trying to calm Jocelyn down but she was really angry. While the drama was still on, Jocelyn’s father went outside and came in with his ordely and I was taken away without a word from Jocelyn’s father.
I was handed over to Garki area police command. From dry fasting to the cell. I was not opportune to break my fasting before the incident, so I came into the cell with an empty stomach. For these two times I have been kept in custody, I understood the saying that “your torture is based on who you offend and not the gravity of your offence.” When they began to torture me I fainted several times but nobody cared. Suffering was far an understatement compared to what I went through in police custody. Right there I made a covenant with God that I won’t go to hell if he could save me from this trouble and give me another chance. If hell will be hotter than my experience in police custody then no man deserve to go there….
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Episode 11
I ended my dry fasting with with dry bread later in the evening. I had spent one week in custody, before I was charged to court and later sentenced to six months imprisonment. Six months in jail seemed like six years. No member of my family was aware I was in jail. Pastor Lanre and his visitation team came once in a while to check on me in prison. Visitors were allowed to bring food for us but it had to be cooked or processed food. Days when Pastor and his team came around were like days of jubilee to me. They didn’t just give me the physical food, they also fed me with the word of God.
Days and nights seemed longer in prison than outside the prison. 24 hours were like 240 hours. Prison life is better imagined than experienced. The isolation and boredom can not be overemphasised. No friend to relate with, no place to go to, nothing to keep one busy.
But Instead of just staying idle in prison, I began to invest my time in prayer and studying of the Bible. I became a prominent member of the prison fellowship, a very vibrant fellowship of convicted inmates.
While in person, I began to retrace my steps back to my Lord. I became closer to God and fully rededicated my life to Christ. Other Christian bodies and religious organizations always visited us in the prison to encourage us with God’s word and to pray for us. My commitment and dedication in the prison fellowship got me to the position of the assistant secretary of the fellowship. My experience in the prison really humbled me.
Our fellowship president became my mentor and role model. Bro Ishaku was sentenced to life imprisonment and had spent twenty years already in prison. His faith and trust in God despite his condition, was a motivation to all of us who were his disciples. It really takes strong faith in Christ for a condemned inmate to talk about God the way bro Ishaku did when he gave us exhortations.
Pastor Lanre was not able to contact my people until a month to my freedom from prison. When my father was worried for not hearing from me for such a long time, he sent one of my uncles to trace me to Jocelyn’s family house where we held our traditional wedding but he was shut out on hearing he was from my kindred. When my father and mother finally visited me in prison, we all wept together when they saw my suffering. I assured them I will be fine knowing I would be out of prison soon.
Even though I stayed beyond six months in prison, I was released on the 21st of August.
I, who was thrown into prison as a backsliding Christian, came out as a fire brand. I learnt my lessons well with hunger and hard labour.
Upon my release, I was warned never to step into Jocelyn’s house or anybody close to her ever, else I will be sent back to prison. I came out of prison without a place to go. All my things were still in Jocelyn’s house but I was told never to step there again. Thanks to pastor Lanre, a man with a good heart. He admitted me into the church mission house. He gave me hope and a new life. My faith in Christ waxed stronger by the day seeing how pastor Lanre and the church rallied round me to give me shelter when I had no one, food when I was hungry and clothes when I was naked. Pastor Lanre tried to get me a job but that wasn’t realistic without my credentials. He begged Jocelyn to release my credentials to me but she refused. She had since stopped attending our church, after I was thrown into prison. Pastor Lanre engaged me as one of the staff of the church even when there wasn’t vacancy. I was engaged to do special duties. As special duty officer, my job was nothing more than running errands for the church and staff of the church. This time, I ran those errands not just because they were my official duties but I did them as a service unto God……
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Episode Twelve
All my efforts to hear from Kauna proved abortive as I learnt she later relocated to the UK to cover the shame our action had caused the family. I was reliably informed also that she gave birth to a baby girl and may never come back to Nigeria again. Mrs Kalu became my informant, she was a member of our church and a staff of NNPC. She was the one who informed me that Jocelyn in annoyance had burnt all my things in her house, including my credentials.
Pastor Lanre began to talk about reconciling with my wife and her family but I saw this as a dream that may never come true. The damage done to Jocelyn’s family by my action can never be repaired. The scar of the the wound will also be there and will cause the seed of bitterness and hatred to ever bear fruit anytime they see me. I know Jocelyn will never forgive me, if for everything, not for impregnating her younger sister. Even though I knew I needed Jocelyn’s forgiveness and that of her family, getting it seemed elusive.
I began to give consideration to pastor’s suggestions on reconciliation and restitution but how will I go about it? Who will convince Jocelyn I am a new creature? Who will tell Jocelyn’s father to take me back again as his son-in-law? It was a serious bridge to cross. I started a chain of prayers for God’s leading and guidance.
Pastor Lanre had said I cannot marry another woman while Jocelyn is still alive. I was not getting younger and my parents were getting closer to their graves by the day. “When are we going to embrace our grandchildren” was a popular song in the lips of my parents. I wish I could tell them they already have a grandchild but I may never see this child all my life.
I moved out of church mission house to a one room apartment to enable me start a new life and re-plan my life. Pastor Lanre through Mrs Kalu traced Jocelyn to her new church and began to talk to her pastor on the possibility of our coming together again. The first meeting arranged by Jocelyn’s pastor to discuss our reconciliation was fruitless. Jocelyn walked out immediately she realized the subject of the meeting was our reconciliation. It took her pastor a month’s rigorous follow up to be able to make her return back to the church. She threatened never to attend that church again if anything about me is ever raised. The matter was put on hold for another one year. One year of loneliness and silence.
Many sisters were interested in me in the church but pastor Lanre had warned me never to give attention to any of them. You are a married man, you can’t date any sister in church. This he has said several times to me. Among these sisters who danced around me in church, sister Eunice was different. Epitome of beauty and humility. Her smiles are good enough to heal the sick. I wished I could get closer to her but pastor Lanre would not let that happen. Sister Eunice was a total opposite of Jocelyn, she will make a perfect wife, I thought.
I cannot disobey pastor Lanre but sincerely I am falling in love with sister Eunice
Wives be very careful the way you treat your husband. If you refuse to carry him like a king. Hundreds of ladies out there will treat him like a monarch. You know men now? I know you will be saying hundreds of ladies ke? No matter the level of anointing please WIVES don’t frustrate your CROWN…
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EPISODE THIRTEEN (13)
I love pastor Lanre for one thing, he was a goal getter per excellence. After a year, he was able to reconcile me back to my wife, Jocelyn. The conditions for reconciliation put me further into marriage prison. It was either I accept the conditions or I remain unmarried all my life. Staying unmarried for life is a prison on its own, going back to Jocelyn also is a prison. The decision was to choose between two prisons. I decided to choose the later prison.
I returned to Jocelyn’s house like a slave, this time I was already born again. The price I had to pay was to obey all conditions set for me and obey God in all my dealings. I had also signed an undertaking with the police never to engage her in any violent activity. With these conditions and my new spiritual status, Jocelyn became a god and a monster. The bitterness of what I did to her sister still lingered in her mind. The presence of my wife became a terror to me. I was practically loosing my mind but I was encouraged to endure and stay in the marriage.
Whenever I came back late Jocelyn would lock me out. I stayed late most times because of fellowship and the nature of my job in the church. I was the last person to leave the church everyday because I had to ensure all doors and windows were locked before leaving. Sometimes when she locked me out, I will return back to the church and pass the night with the security guard or at the church auditorium, the den of mosquitoes and dangerous insects. Other times to avoid too many questions, I just passed the night at the balcony. I became a victim of domestic violence. Initially it was emotional violence but it later graduated to physical assaults.
If you are nursing a plan to marry a rich woman for the sake of elevating your poverty, I beg you to drop that ambition today. Those who see me outside with fine dresses may not know the pains and agony those dresses are covering. Many people don’t know why I was always wearing long sleeve shirts. I have a wound around my upper arm, an injury inflicted on me by Jocelyn because I broke a glass cup. I wear long sleeve shirts to hide the wound that have refused to heal. It was infected badly that sometimes it brings out pulse and stinks like spoiled egg. I have been to hospital severally to get rid of the wound all to no avail.
It doesn’t take anything for Jocelyn to hit me, I get slapped almost everyday. Unfortunately for me I can’t retaliate or over defend myself, it will be termed as domestic violence against her. I reported my predicaments to pastor Lanre but he kept encouraging me, bro Patrick it shall be well. My life became miserable more than it was before I went to prison. I really desire to go to heaven and no amount of oppression will make me turn back. Nothing again shall separate me from the love of Christ, not Jocelyn nor the things she did to me, I vowed…
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EPISODE FOURTEEN (14)
All my attempts to replace my credentials were futile. Getting a police report was a big problem. They wanted me to give them bride before the report could be issued. But I am a new person now, I can’t give bribe anymore. All my years of labour in school were burnt in minutes by a woman I called my wife, just to get back at me. Well, I can’t blame God, I was only swallowing what I chewed.
Many things I suffered in the hands of Jocelyn were unthinkable and cruel. Some I have never shared with anyone before. How can I tell people my wife was beating me? How can I tell people my wife denied me sex for 365 days of a year? How well can I explain my emotional pains and my secret groaning? My marriage was resemblance of hell fire. Many times I have thought of suicide but that will hinder me from seeing God on the last day. I can’t endure these sufferings here on earth and still end up in hell.
To further frustrate me, Jocelyn started bringing different men into the house I should have referred to as our matrimonial home. I will serve her and also serve her numerous boyfriends who treated me like a houseboy. They do a lot of things in my presence yet I mustn’t react. She hugged, kissed and romanced them right in my presence. At night i wud hear their moans, during sex but I had to keep mute. I will clean up their mess without partaking in it. I wanted to marry a rich woman, a rich woman I got.
When the suffering was too much and was becoming unbearable I to told pastor I want a divorce. I was ready to live all my life without marriage. Pastor Lanre tried to discourage me from seeking for a divorce but my life was at stake and my Christianity was not guaranteed with Jocelyn. Divorce was better than what I called marriage. I would have been ordained as a minister in the church but my marriage was the setback.
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Episode Fifteen
After sometime, maggots started coming out of my wound. The knife Jocelyn used to stab me was not ordinary knife, it was a knife prepared for those warriors in their place. Warriors in their place have their machetes, arrows, guns and other instruments of war soaked in a special traditional water to make it poisonous against their opponents. When all treatments failed, major surgeries were performed on the arm twice, but instead, it grew worse.
Medically I was referred to the US or India for another surgery, but where on earth will I get such amount of money required. Jocelyn’s father could afford N12 million for my medical bill but he will not. I took to faith and fate as I remained in Nigerian hospital where it was managed for eight months. The worst happened when the specialists managing the arm suggested we amputate the entire hand to avoid further damage to other parts of the body. The maggots had eaten deep into my flesh and bone. I began to wonder, having given my life to Christ why will he not show me mercy and let this cup pass over me? The pain was unbearable. Jocelyn moved my things outside my room to a shop attached to the boys quarter when she could no longer endure the fowl odour from my wound.
My parents persuaded me to come home to seek the help of a traditional medicine man but I can’t go back to my vomit again. I will never go to Egypt to seek for help, I better get the hand amputated rather than going fetish. It was useless carrying out my plan of divorce again. My calamity was beyond what I could bear, hence I began to pray to God to take my life.
In all my predicaments, Pastor Lanre was with me. He stood by me like a true father. If any pastor was Christ-like it was pastor Lanre. He paid most of my hospital bills. Eventually my hand was amputated. I was a liability to the church for one whole year. My church members also rallied round me in my trying times. The next time you see anyone trying to marry a rich woman to evade the stink of poverty please share my story with them.
It is better to be poor than stay in an abusive marriage.
Where there is no love wealth can not cure poverty in marriage.
Don’t go into marriage if you see signs of future abuse. I saw the signs but I ignored them.
Don’t ever force or encourage your children to marry anyone because of their wealth.
Bad marriage is the best way to test run hell fire.
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MY RICH WIFE
Final Episode
Episode Sixteen
My Path To Glory
I became a one-handed man. My wife treated like a plaque.
Then one day, Jocelyn became sick, and was admitted into the hospital. Her family refused to reveal to us what was wrong with Jocelyn but she was drying up like a HIV patient. I stood by her all through. I prayed for her. For crying out loud she is my wife I was only suffering from emotional trauma.
I didn’t pay evil for evil during her sickness, I was not afraid of contacting her unknown sickness. I only prayed for her to encounter Jesus, I desire a second chance for her. God make the sickness to turn her to you Oh Lord that was my prayer.The sickness grew worse and she was flown abroad for further treatment. Six weeks later, she died.
This was suppose to be sad news, but it was the death that set me free from my bondage. I didn’t wish her dead, but her death brought me out of the prison of marriage and slavery.
My case became like “In the year that king uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple”
The death of Jocelyn opened another chapter of my life. Before she died she had written a will willing all her properties, savings and investments to me because according to her despite her actions toward me, I was with her throughout her ailment . I brush her teeth, feed her, cleaned and washed her clothes in the hospital. When the lawyer came to read the will, I couldn’t control my tears. Jocelyn was worth over N100 million in property, savings and investments, everything was willed to me.
“Those who wait on the Lord will never be put to shame”, I quoted.
Six months after the death of Jocelyn I was joined in holy matrimony with sister Eunice. I was ordained as a pastor in my church and God had been using me tremendously in his vineyard.
My story had changed from slavery to rulership.
I went to bed a very poor and wretched man but woke up a millionaire. It pays to serve Jesus and hold unto him even at the face of painful trials.
God blessed my new marriage with a lovely boy whom we named Bamaiyi-Sa-Allah.
I am happy again. My wife Eunice is a praying woman and a lovely wife.
Please wife submit to your husband no matter the position you may be holding.
Don’t be carried away by affluence, Pray before venturing into marriage.
There is need to turn over a new leaf to those who stave their husband sex, is it food? Yes , give it to him.
Pray for your husband.
A woman that refuses to sumbit to her husband and decide to use him as a domestic servant is only digging her grave, such cannot eat the fruits of their labour.
God will heal every home suffering from emotional trauma.
You as a wife can change the destiny of your husband for the better.
AVOID PRIDE AS A WOMAN
In case you are right in the web of deep waters of life and you want to call it quite, please hold on to God.
Jesus is Lord.
The End