[STORY] I LOVE MY LIFE (episode 1-29)

Episode 1 I was locking my door as I tried to hurry up for my lectures when I met the only nightmare that prowls at day. I thought I have been smart by dodging for over 2 weeks now but my cup was filled up. My landlady walked up to me, fuming with anger. Me: Madam you scared me off my feet o. I don run finish ooo… She cut me off b4 I could finish my story. Landlady: Shut up! Mechie onu gi osiso. Wally or wetin you de call ursef. E don teh wen I begin to de look 4 u. You think sey yu get brain? Aaah, smart don jam smarty. I pretended not to know what she was talking about. How she go de insult me like dat nii. I feigned angry. Me: Madam, excuse me. Don’t you think I have the right to talk? You just came to my door and began calling me names. Don’t provoke me this early morning. I will warn you for the last time. I made to move away, smiling within myself that my act worked. She changed her mood and smiled a little. Landlady: E neva reach like dat na. No vex abeg. I been think say you won dodge ur house rent. Me: Rubbish talk madam! That’s absolutely rubbish. I think tis high time I took a legal action against you. How can I be scared of such a little amount of money? Have I owned you b4? Trust me na, as a student of English and Literature, I used all the words I ve learnt over the years. I was already pitying 4 the poor woman as her mood changed. She was around 37 years with a child but no husband. She didn’t play her match very well and a goal was scored. She was fair and pretty with a big butty and a saucy breast that poked out 4rm the cloth she wore. If she had completed her education, she would have been a hotcake. She owned 4 hostels and a big restaurant and controlled a lot of money, but she doesn’t live a big life. Landlady: Tis ok, I have heard you. Pay when you have the money. She said and turned to leave. Me: Bigger mama!No vex o. Na so we dey roll na. No take am personal She brightened up a little. Landlady: I think say na only you sabi english na. Me: How Chi chi na? Chichi was her 17yrs old daughter. Landlady: She de shop. I hope say you no dey eye am? Cause na me go cut ur manhood first We laughed. Me: No yawa. Make I go lecture first. I go come for evening make we chop fish nii. Landlady: I go de wait 4 you I left for my lecture, wondering how I will pay my house rent of 75k when I ve already squandered 30k. As I was about crossing the road, a black Range Rover stopped in front of me and as the glass wound down, I saw the biggest surprise of the day….

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