*ping* my BlackBerry Q10 vibrated (oh yeah, I use a Q5. Just wanted to take style and tell you) So. I had actually been on Facebook digging into the pictures of my newest Facebook crush when that ping came in (by the way, I might probably “expose” the facebook username of the Facebook crush at the end of this *winks*) Alright. Let me focus on the story. I need to stop digressing. *takes a deep breath* So, the ping. I minimized my browser and went to BBM to see the evil spirit that was disturbing my life with a freaking BBM ping (I hate pings, by the way, and I always forget to deactivate the vibrations that come with them. After typing this I need go deactivate that thing) So, straight outta Facebook I balled into BBM and lo and behold it was Jaga. That idiot. No, Jaga is not his real name. That’s just what we call him. It’s actually a short version of Jaga Jaga. I don’t know how such evil nickname was given to him. Actually the fool na my guy, and the mumu boy just loves two things in his life more than anything – women and weed…aside from that, the guy no get wahala sha. So I received his message. “Fool”. I typed. “Why you won kill my battery”. Pim. I sent it. He received the message and started typing. I watched the typing thing that shows up near someone’s bbm name when he is typing and waited. Pim. His message entered. “Guy, e get one babe wey dey trip for you here o” I squeezed face. Which type of mumu message is this again. I just received the message, bone the guy and returned to Facebook to continue checking out my crush’s picture from where I stopped. Ping Ping Ping. Three pings, I nearly mad. I rushed back to BBM. “Guy, why u won kill my ba3 na. You chop mess?”. I sent it. “Fool”. He replied. “I won change your life” Then he sent me a picture. I opened it. And my eye “shined”. See, is not like I fall in and out of like easily sha but mehn, I saw that picture and forgot about the other girl I was checking out on Facebook. “Who be this babe”. I asked. Jaga sent me a smiling smiley. Then typed. “Na the girl I been tell you say she dey trip for you. Mumu” I looked at the message. Trip for me ke? Why? See It’s not like I’m looking down on myself or anything (alright, maybe I am) but mehn, that girl was too fine abeg. She can’t be tripping for me. So one thing was certain – Jaga won jonse me. Simple. He started typing…. I waited. “The girl been see your instagram picture come talk say she like you o” (by the way this is my instagram handle, just in case you won see wetin the girl see: IamDaniel You can follow me if you like) I looked at the message and of course, I didn’t believe him. The guy na jonser. But I still asked: “Who be the girl”. “She be my cousin”. Jaga replied. I squeeze my face, then shake head. No guy tells another guy say him cousin dey trip. It’s like an unspoken rule around guys. We no dey like our guys near our relation. So for this fool to tell me his cousin was tripping then there was something wrong with the story. Why I dey bother even think this matter sef. “Guy”. I typed. “She fine. Bye bye”. Pim, I sent. I didn’t get any message from him again. And I went back to Facebook. Like ten minutes later, my phone notification light started blinking. I checked and it was from BBM And you won’t believe what I saw when I checked my BBM…
[nextpage title=”episode 2″]
Be right back. Let me check…
Okay, I remember now. I was talking about
that BBM notification.
So, when I checked what the notification
was I found out it was a BBM friend request
and the name showing was “Clara”
Who be Clara?
My head clicked. Wait, Clara. I went to
Jaga’s name and started typing.
“Wetin be your cousin name?” I typed and
“Clara”. Jaga typed back.
Okay, I thought, this is starting to get weird.
I suspected it was a trick though. I accepted
the friend request, viewed the picture and
raised an eyebrow. D–n this girl is fine,
I want you to get a picture of how this girl
looks. Shey you know Juliet ibrahim? (na her
name be that abi? The Ghanaian actress) –
she looks just like her. Well, not really like
her but close. She was fine like that.
I waited. She didn’t send a message. And
mehn, I no won do as if my blood dey hot so
I still waited. An hour, She still didn’t send a
Dammit, I thought, and started typing…
“Hey. I will need your password if you must
continue staying on my list” I typed then
added a little smiling smiley so she no go
think say na beef and sent.
“Check my picture. That’s all the password
I smiled. She was exactly my type of girl, I
thought, just the humor I like and the cocky
So, like that like that o. We would chat
everyday. Then it went over to calls then
Vam Vam – two weeks down the line I told
her “oya, Anty C. I think we should meet
now. Take me out for a movie”
“Mumu”. She had replied over the phone.
“It’s me that will now take you out abi. Tell
me when you are serious”
I laughed and fixed a date. Sha the day I
called her it was a tuesday. Shebi? Can’t
really remember. But the day we decided to
meet was on a Friday (I remember that
perfectly well). We were supposed to meet
at that shoprite mall in Enugu by around one
so we could catch a 2.30pm movie showing
So, on that Friday – I baffed. Rub cream.
Wear clothe. Spray spray perfume anyhow
like this eh. I looked at the mirror and
noticed I was starting to get fat small small.
Who cares. I still looked good.
I stepped out mehn. Piam piam, I dey mall.
But I too over go early. It was the mall I
even noticed. I reached there like around
twelve. One freaking hour early gan. I nearly
I waited though . One o’clock she didn’t
show up. Around 1.20 pm (yes, I was
checking the time like that), she still didn’t
show up so I decided to go and buy tickets
for the movie.
I bought two. 1.40pm. 1.55 pm – no calls.
No pings nothing. I still didn’t want to call
her. She should know to keep appointments.
Why I go call am?. Mumu, my mind voice
told me, better relax and call that girl. Na
your pride go always dey spoil show for you.
By 2.15 pm she called me. Choi, I rushed the
call. Then calmed myself and slowly and
very calmly said “Hello” into the mouthpiece
“This boy. You can’t call someone abi? I’m
at the mall. Where are you?”
[nextpage title=”episode 3″]
“Where are you exactly?” I asked.
“You, where are you”. Clara asked back over
“Come upstairs”. I told her. “I’m at the
gallery, close to the viewing rooms”
She said okay and hung.
Shey you know that nervousness that comes
when you are about to see a “social media
friend” you like for the first time? That’s was
how I felt (macho man aside)
Dude. Chill, my mind voice told me, it’s just
a girl. Stop acting like a chicken.
I inhaled and exhaled and waited.
But mehn, all those taking in of air didn’t
help me when I spotted her. I first saw
before she saw me, just as she was about to
get on the escalator.
Then she saw me too and knack me one
very sharp smile from far like this eh.
D–n, this girl is fine.
Her hair was braided. All those heavy looking
braids. Then she come tie the thing as a
bun ontop of her head. She also wore an
unbuttoned demin over a white inner Polo.
Choi. This girl is fine. I thought
The trouser she had on was a jean and tight
fitting and it gave the promise of a fine
behind from the front.
Guy, comport yourself.
The escalator brought her level with the
gallery floor and she stepped over and
“glided” towards me, still smiling.
I smiled when she reached me. She looked
“You look uglier in real life than you do in
your pictures” she said.
I raised an eyebrow. “Big head”. I said. “You
so wish I was ugly. Keep dreaming.”
She laughed. “You don’t want to hug me?”
I looked at her chest then told myself to
comot eye and try to focus
“I will hug you after the movies”. I told her,
smiling like cow.
“Oya na. You just lost your chance to ever
get a hug from me in your whole life”. She
said, smiling back.
“Come” I told her. “We would be late for the
We walked into the pitch dark viewing room.
It was a 3D movie and the place was almost
I picked a corner and we settled in. The
movie wasn’t yet showing so we started
talking. Then the movie started and we
watched, whispering from time to time at
something on the screen.
The girl was just freaking fun to be with
jare. She go joke, I go laugh then I will throw
my own jokes kwa and she would laugh. Our
conversations just flowed and it was d–n
easy talking to her.
Halfway through the movie she leaned
towards me and whispered.
“Have you ever had s*x in a cinema before?”
I peered at her face in the dark.
“Nope” I replied like goat wey chop biscuit.
“Would you want to try it”.
What da…, I thought. Alright. Hol up Hol up.
This is starting to look like American film.
Wetin she dey talk.
“Like, s*x. Right here?”. I asked (Nna, just to
be sure say I heard her. Sounds can be a
funny thing at times).
“Yup”. She said.
“What if someone sees us”
“Chicken” she said, then stood up and in one
swift movement s——-d me. D–n, I
thought, now that’s one hell of an
experienced maneuver the way she had
She bent over and kissed me. I just take the
kiss without kissing her back, wondering how
to act. Like mehn, the light from the screen
fit go overshine come showcase the two of
She kissed me again. I didn’t respond.
Slowly, she reached for the front of my
trousers and gave my crotch one very
I grunted in pain.
“Bia, what was that for?”. I whispered
“You are not kissing me back”. She
Dammit, I thought, and slowly grabbed her
neck and pulled her face towards me
[nextpage title=”episode 4″]
..grabbing the back of her neck, I pulled her
face closer to mine. Then leaned in closely
and kissed her on the lips.
Now, this was totally against all my rules.
For one, I don’t kiss girls on the first date.
Really, I think it gives a bad first impression.
Like the conji over-hold you or something.
But here I was kissing this girl and on my
way to having s*x with her in a public place.
…now, that wasn’t my thing. but I wasn’t
thinking. It is not every day this kain fine girl
dey make pass on person abeg.
Slowly, I nibbled on her lower lip. Then bit it
gently and used my hand to move the hair
covering the left side of her neck. Moving in
slowly I kissed a spot on her neck and she
Oh, I thought, she is one of the neck-ish
girls. Girls that like their necks to be kissed.
Oya na. I dropped another kiss and she
threw back her head and grabbed the back
of head with one hand and started reaching
out for my Zippers with the other one.
By now lil Jack the ripper behind the trouser
was starting to want to tear comot for
trousers. That was when my idiat mind
decided to knock.
“Guy”. My mind voice called out. “You well
Shhh, I mentally silenced the voice; I’m
My mind voice sighed. Fool, where is thy
Leave it like that, I told the voice, I go like
give this girl belle. Our children go fine.
Dude, the voice said again, STD.
Pfftt, I thought, sharap…
But even when I was sharapping the voice
my head was rebooting. Clara reached into
my trouser and clutched Jack the ripper.
I sighed. Reached for her hand and pulled it
away. Then, gently, I heaved her off me.
How I go take explain wetin I just do now.
“What is it”. And from the sound of her voice
she was surprised like mad. She obviously
doesn’t get this type of behavior from guys
“I can’t” I told her. “Not yet”
She no reply. She just eased back into her
seat really slowly and bone me like this eh.
We watched the movie to the end and
although we were acting polite and stuff,
that fire we been get just die die anyhow.
The movie ended and we entered awkward
question time: how was the movie, did you
like it. That sort of question. As if we even
watched the d–n thing.
Outside, I got her in a taxi and paid the
driver. She mumbled something that sounded
like goodbye and got in. The taxi drove off
and like that like that. We no talk again for
like two weeks. Even on BBM, we just went
really d–n cold on each other mehn.
Then one day she put on this dp of a guy
who, let me say the truth and shame the
devil, was finer than me like mad man. That
was how jealousy knacked me. And no, I
don’t get jealous easily. Really. But mehn,
this is a Juliet Ibrahim kinda girl we are
talking about here. And I had hurt her pride.
Vam, I started typing…
“Your boyfriend is fine tho”. Piam, I sent.
That was how she left my message un-
opened from 4.20 pm till like 8pm.
When she finally opened it she sent.
I shake head. Roadblock mehn.
“How i’ve you been”. I tried again.
Double road block. I looked at the reply. Like
Nna, what again can somebody ask now
kwanu. She is just kancking all my moves
“How are you”.
“Alright”. I typed. “I’m trying to make a
conversation here and you are not helping”. I
“I don’t really think I owe it to you to make a
conversation”. She replied. Okay, I thought,
that was a full sentence. We are getting
I typed another one or two things and she
typed another one or two things and we both
realized how much we’ve missed our chats
and started chatting like old times.
Somewhere down the line she told me about
this party she was attending. Then invited
me over. Me, i’m not a party person but
d–n, I’ve missed this babe. so I agreed.
But when I got to the party I realized I
should never have agreed to come.
[nextpage title=”episode 5″]
I hate parties. Maybe because I can’t dance.
Or maybe because I hate the whole social
kiniko kiniko that go with it. But the way
Clara asked me to come for that party
mehn…it wasn’t a small thing. I just had to
say yes then after I said yes I regretted I
hadn’t said no.
But I haf say the yes already na. It would be
fack up to come and start changing mouth
again. So that’s how I agreed to go party o.
That day, as in the party day; I cleaned up
then pinged Clara and asked her to send me
directions then she did and then come and
say one mumu thing about the party being
an all white thing. Are you kidding me. Is it
When It got time to ball out, I looked at my
wardrobe . There was only one white in
there (I hate white. Minus joke) and the one
in the wardrobe was a trad plus it was dirty.
I can’t wear dirty white trad na to this kind
of party na
What kind of mumu all white party sef. I
went and took my bath, dressed up with
what was in the wardrobe and just balled
I followed the direction to the place the
party was supposed to hold. Actually the
place na Liberty estate. If you live in Enugu
then you will know the place for real mehn.
So piam piam. I followed direction and got
to the house. Mehn, that house wasn’t here
o. Fine fine anyhow like this eh.
I knocked on the gate and waited. That was
when I first chop my first Sh*t. Well, not like
Sh*t for real. As in, what happened was I
knocked and gateman looked at me like I
messed beans mess. The malam face no
nice at all.
“Who you dey fine?” he almost barked.
How will I answer now.
“I come for the party”. I finally managed to
say after my head been blank.
“Comot here. Oga pikin say na white”. Vam
and he banged gate on my face.
I smile. Like all those smile you smile when
you feel somebody have just insulted you but
you don’t know what to do. So you just laugh
yourself and say “chai, I don suffer for
people hand”. That kain smile.
I picked my phone and called Clara.
“Gateman doesn’t want me to enter o”.
Dude, my mind voice said when I said that,
you just sounded like small pikin now she
you know?. Eh wahever, I agreed, live it like
“Why na?” Clara asked.
“He said I’m not putting on you people’s
She laughed. Then said something about me
always liking to break rules and told me to
Ten minutes later and she showed. D–n,
that girl is fine. No worry.
She wore white but white haven’t looked so
sinful as it did on that babe, I thought a lot
of things when I saw her that I no go like
talk about here – Bumshort. Horribly short
bumshort like this eh…Choi. Then she come
wear this top that just showed her booby
like Ish the booby’s birthday. Forget my guy,
let’s not go there.
She said something to the Gateman and the
fool come gree to allow me enter. I got in
and gave him my best evil eye and passed.
Clara then lead me up a walkway to the
front door and Opened it. we got in. That
was when I started wishing say I get sense
just go fin white borrow. Everybody just wear
white, na me just off. And no chair dey the
place. Seems they removed it. Everyone was
standing. Cocktail kinda Sh*t.
A fine very tall guy walked up to us. I’m not
fine, I know. But that guy’s fresh fine-ness
just made me look twice as ugly as I dey
mehn. No shiii. I looked and recognized him
from Clara’s dp. That guy I been see for her
dp na. Shey you remember? Ehm.
“DANIEL”. Clara said. “Meet my boyfriend.
Jay, Meet DANIEL”
That was when I wished I hadn’t come. And
in one simple sentence she just turned my
belle. But there was more…
[nextpage title=”episode 6″]
This world is sha a very wicked place.
Here I was in an all white party putting on
some crazy Buttocks off colour nonsense
while the babe I had like a massive crush on
was introducing me to her nonsense
What a wicked world. I pitied myself. But
Nawa for you o, I just smiled and do face like
it’s perfectly normal for a girl who had made
a pass on me some weeks ago to have a
I shoke hands with the nonsense Jay of a
guy. But sha, the boy just fresh anyhow. All
this ajebo children. He just brought out the
kpako in me. Minus joke.
“Welcome to my party”. Jay said, looking me
up and down. “Even though you are a bit off”
Arrogant bascard, I thought, na even the fool
party sef. No shaking.
“I don’t like blending in”. I told him. Smiling
my you can go and die smile as I motioned
over what I was wearing.
The boy smiled, grabbed Clara by the waist
and started moving away. Clara looked over
her shoulder and said – “make yourself
comfortable” then followed the fool. (why I
dey insult this boy sef, fool just dey slip
comot my finger)
Almost as if on cue the DJ changed the
already blasting Olamide’s Lagos boys to
Harrysong’s Play the ragge play the blues
song. I rolled my eye. Perfect, I thought, very
perfect. The gods just won mock me today.
I looked around. Nobody was paying me any
attention, some were smoking weed. plus
almost all of them had a girl on their arm,
and the normal smooching thing sef don
start for some corner while some others
See my life na. I come single, wear off
colour join. Isoriat.
I walked to the alcohol dispenser in the
dining area and had the dude pour me booze
in a red plastic cup I got at the dining table.
I brought the cup close to my mouth and
Indian hemp come smell me. Like, it wasn’t
as if it was surprising or anything because
like 5 guys dey smoke the thing for the
room. But somehow somehow kwa, it was as
if the smell was coming from the drink.
I sniffed. It was definitely coming from the
booze o. E be like these boys filter weed
water take pour inside this thing. Only God
knows what else they added. This ajebo
children can do crazy things, they fit go even
mix Cocaine join.
I looked around. Razz party. Whatever, I go
need high mehn. I drank the booze. Nodding
to Harrysong’s song, I walked to an empty
seat in the crowded seating room and sank
The party was already super crazy gan.
Choi. See rocking and smooching
everywhere. I just watched. I saw Clara and
Jay dancing. Clara caught my eye and I
looked away like say I bin no dey watch
them. Msteeew. Nonsense people.
I continued scanning the room as I sipped
my drink. I saw like two booties I liked.
Mehn, some girls get hips no worry.
Jayhoover. I watched one guy and a girl slip
out to go upstairs. Without been told I knew
what was about to get down. When this
party start sef? wey everybody don comot
for gear already
Just when the booze plus the weed water
inside the booze plus whatever thing again
wey these boys put was starting to take
hold of me, Clara Waka and come. She
pulled me up.
“You want Jay to kill me abi?” I said. Pulling
“Don’t be silly. Get up”.
“I can’t dance”. I told her. And no, minus
joke. I really can’t dance. I dance like a bad
“Just shake your body”. She told me.
Because I was starting to get high as F**K
(on just one cup, only God know what was
inside this drink) I just decided to break my
no dance rule. I stood up and allowed Clara
drag me to the middle of the room.
Like 20 people dey already gbedu and I saw
Jay dancing with another fine babe like that.
I and Clara started dancing. Mehn, it wasn’t
a small thing. Highness na bastard.
Well, fast forward fast forward.
At a point I and Clara stopped dancing. I
noticed another babe who was free. I rush
am, pulled her up – just like that. Oh mehn,
i’m high. Like, seriously. God. What did they
put in the drink.
The babe I pulled up didn’t complain, she too
sef don high die.. We danced and while we
danced we talked. I made a few jokes and
she laughed. The connection is there, I
thought, in my head.
At a point, the devil whispered to me what
to whisper to the babe . Piam, I no even
think am. I just whispered it to her – just
“Here is hot”. I whispered.”lets get out of
here” . She nodded and started walking
away, I followed her. She led the way to the
staircase, I followed. Staggering a bit.
Just as I climbed the stairs I looked back
and saw Clara looking at us. I throway face.
Then I remembered I didn’t even know the
name of the babe I was following. Well, who
We got up and entered a corridor. The babe
pushed a door to the right and we balled into
a badly lit room. On the bed were the boy
and the girl who had slipped out of the party
downstairs earlier. They were stark Unclad
and just about to “you know na”.
I shouted something I can’t really remember
now. The babe I was with apologized at the
Unclad figures and we shut the door and
started laughing those kind of no reason
mumu laugh that you laugh when you are
She fell on me, I held her. Slipped my palms
down her buttocks and gave it a squeeze.
She pulled my hands away and hit my chest
For where. The alcohol in my system pushed
me on. I gently pushed her to the wall and
just as she was about to raise her hand to
push against my chest I caught it. Raised it
above her head and gently pinned it on the
Leaning in I slowly brushed my lips against
hers. Then looked at her. Her resistance
stopped . Piam, I moved in. I rubbed her
lower lip with my lip then slowly took it
in between my lips and kissed her gently.
I released her hands, slid my hand around
her waist and pulled her closer. She kissed
me back, raising up her hand she pulled my
head in. Kissing me deeper. I kissed her
neck. No reaction. I went back to her lips
and resumed where I stopped.
That was when Clara walked up to the
corridor and saw us and what she did next surprised me
[nextpage title=”episode 7″]
Clara drew me off her body and gave
annoying look then she yelled at me,
is your problem, i invited you here so
i should be your focus of attention.
I was about saying
something, when the drunk girl got up
and walked away, i just stared at her
as she left
and i said to myself, chai see opportunity
clara make me lose, she don use her
spoil my blues, which kind devil she be na.
Clara: Daniel are u deaf, is it not u am talking to.
*she moved towards me and perceived the smell
of alcohol coming from my mouth.
Clara: what did u drink?
Daniel: i took some bottles of errrrrrm
clara: so that was what got u high
daniel: i think so. Where is jay?
Clara: he is downstair with his friends, he doesn’t
know am here.
clara: yeah, follow me let us go and join him
Daniel: am not going anywhere
clara: and why is dat so
daniel: nothing just go and meet him yourself.
She didn’t say anything but just stood there
staring at me.
I looked at her face and she gave me a
seductive look, she leaned closer to me,
held my waist and place her breast on my chest.
Instantly my dickson got the message and stood erect, she felt it and smiled.
Then i said to myself, this na reggae blues.
[nextpage title=”episode 8″]
We drew our heads forward, our lips locked and we started kissing each other, i slid my hands around her waist and started fondling her bwest, i was about locating her kitty wen she pushed me backwards.
*lai lai i no go gree oh, she must finish wetin she start*
i stood calm, came towards her again, held her cheek with my hands and we continued kissing. I had begun to enjoy the feeling when she held my hand and said
to where, i asked
just come, she said
i agreed and she led me to a room, she opened the door and we entered inside.
I looked around and saw that the room was neatly arranged.
where is this place, i asked
you love asking questions, she said
she closed the door and locked it.
She looked at me, smiled and asked “have u ever had sex during a party”
ignoring her question, i grabbed her by the waist and squeezed her breast, she let out a soft moan.
She undid my trousers and brought out dickson
and started s—–g the tip. This feeling alone
set my body on fire. ”konji na barstard” i said to
She started undressing herself and her boobie
which was pointed and firm caught my attention
and i just kept on staring at it.
She stood unclad and came on top of me and
positioned my dickson above her kitty.
Daniel: clara abeg wait.
clara: what is it again.
daniel: i need protection.
clara: just pull out when u are about to pour.
Daniel: clara i no fit oh, wat if i carry infection.
Clara: u are crazy *she playfully hits me on my
chest* do u think am having any infection. I
should even be the one asking u dat question.
She stands up from the bed and walked toward
where she kept her purse, she opened it and
emptied all the contents on the floor.
I looked and stared at the contents with
*oboi na up to 20 roll of condoms dey there, this
girl fit dey do public service oh*
Here, have it, she said, i collected a roll from her
and wore it.
She came on top of me again and placed
dickson into her kitty and started riding on me.
*omo dis girl tight die*
she was still going up and down and i was sure
she was enjoying it. After some minutes we
switched position and i continued from her
She was just releasing soft moans, few minutes
later, i reached my c—-x and i then emptied my
hot pour into the condom.
We cleaned up our selves and laid on the bed. I
took my phone and checked the time, it was
Clara: we will be spending the night here
Daniel: that will be better, i don’t think i can go
back today, so wat about jay.
Clara: he has sent me a text message already
that he will be spending the night with his
We gisted for up to an hour before we became
dizzy, we cuddled each other and slept off.
I woke up the next morning, checked the time
and saw that it was past 8’oclock. I checked for
clara on the bed but she was not there, it seems
she left me earlier.
I stood up to take my clothes and dress up, but
they were not there, i checked everywhere but
still couldn’t find it. I looked at myself again and
saw dat i was only wearing a boxer short.
*shey na boxer wan follow me go house ni*
I sat down back on the bed, having no idea of
what next to do.
Different thoughts started running through my
[nextpage title=”episode 9″]
I sat down on the bed, having no idea of what
next to do.
Different thoughts started running through my
*like say i know, i for don go house on time
yesterday, na the useless konji wey hold me kon
cause this wahala* i said to myself.
I took my phone and dialled clara’s number but i
got a response saying my account balance is
I quickly borrowed airtime from customer care,
since that was the only option left for me to
recharge my phone.
Dialling clara’s number again, i placed the phone
on my ear. The response i got made me froze
Clara’s number is switched off, what do i do
Not knowing who else to call, i dropped the
phone on the bed.
I headed straight towards the door and decided
to seek help from whoever i set my eyes on, i
turned the door knob and pulled the door
The door didn’t open, it was locked.
At this junction, i could hear my heart beat.
I began to regret why i came to this party in the
I knew i had to get out of here, but i just
couldn’t figure a way out. Banging the door and
shouting for help may create a scene which am
sure the outcome will be so embarassing for me.
So in order not to make matter worse, i went
back and laid on the bed and started thinking of
the next step to take.
I took my phone and log into bbm to have a chat
with Jaga *the fool wey introduce me to clara*
Me: Jaga, u dey mad oh
i typed on the screen and sent it to him, i waited
for few minutes but there was no reply. I began
to look at the screen waiting for him to type a
message but i got frustrated after none came.
My stomach started rumbling and i began to feel
hunger pangs, it then occured to me that i
haven’t eaten anything since yesterday evening.
This was when i started raining abuses on the
two fool wey put me for this condition, which was no other person but clara and jaga.
Then something caught my attention.
I stared at the display picture on jaga’s bbm
profile and it was a female picture i saw.
I began to think it was jaga’s new crush until i
viewed the picture and i was surprised at what i
Isn’t this clara’s picture? I asked myself
oh yeah it is definetely clara’s picture. I began
to wonder why jaga uploaded her picture on his
i checked his status and what i read made me
jump off from the bed, forgetting that i was
This can’t be true
so clara is jaga’s ex-girlfriend *he kon dey lie for
me say clara na him cousin*
i was running out of battery so i quickly log out
of bbm, and kept my phone.
I must get out of here as soon as possible
before i die of hunger, i said to myself.
As minutes rolled by, i became more hungrier
*next time again for my life, i go avoid party like
poison, dis 1 don teach me lesson* i said to myself
I was still lost in thoughts, until when i saw the
door flew open, and then clara walked in with a
smile on her face.
She was looking more sexier than ever, she wore a
mini skirt which brought out the curvy shape of
her hips, her bwests were *chai, see wetin i dey
imagine, instead of make i strangle this girl*
Clara: good morning dear.
Daniel: where the hell have u been, i said with
Clara: am sorry i left u here all alone, jay called
me to come over and i escorted him home. I
didn’t want you to leave without seeing me, that
was why i had to do it.
Daniel: so why was your phone switched off?
Clara: i had a flat battery, please am sorry now
you don’t have to react this way.
Daniel: sorry for yourself, where are my clothes?
Clara: i didn’t take your clothes, i left it in the
wardrobe for you, didn’t u checked there?
*i no even remember say wardrobe dey the
room, over thinking don format my memory*
I walked to where the wardrobe was and opened
it and i saw my clothes neatly arranged there.
Taking the clothes, i quickly wore it, she didn’t
say anything again, she just stood where she
was and watched me.
I will be on my way now, i told her.
Won’t u eat, i bought u snacks on my way
coming, she said, raising up a polythene bag she was holding.
No am not hungry yet, i will prepare something
when i get home, i lied.
*i no fit spend anoda minute for this place*
alright, no problem she said.
We bade each other farewell and i took transport
back to where i live.
Immediately i got home, i took off my clothes
and ran to the kitchen to prepare something to
eat, i took out some noodles and put it in a pot
of boiling water. I went back to my room and
relax while i waited for the food to be ready.
Still couldn’t believe clara was once jaga’s boo.
My phone vibrated, i took it and check the
notification panel at the top screen and i saw bbm icon which signified that i
have a message on bbm.
[nextpage title=”episode 10″]
I opened my blackberry messenger and read the
It was from Jaga.
Jaga: how far na, i find u come house yesterday,
u no dey around, where u go na?
Me: clara invite me come one party, na now i
just enta house sef.
Jaga: u go party since yesterday afternoon kon
come back by dis time, how u take waka now.
Me: jaga na long story oh, but just imagine am like
say na police detention i dey since yesterday.
Jaga: ah, but for u to sleep over, e mean say u
achieve something na.
*Not wanting to let him know i slept with clara, i
quickly changed the topic*
Me: jaga, e get something wey i wan discuss
Jaga: wetin be dat, hope say u neva give person
Me: no be dat one, i need money badly and i go
like make u help me with cash.
Jaga: if na dat one, u go wait till end of this
week. Make i see wetin i fit gather for u.
Me: okay now no wahala, at least u don try.
I began to percieve burnt smell coming from the
kitchen, which made me remembered the
noodles i was cooking.
I quickly stood up and ran into the kitchen with
speed, brought the pot down and put off the
I stared at the food and saw that it was partially
burnt, i had no choice but to eat it that way so
as to reduce the hunger pangs i was feeling.
I took a fork and emptied what was left of it into
a plate and carried it back to the room.
I dugged into the food and ate it hungrily not
minding the burnt taste.
Few minutes later, i was about rounding up when
i heard a sound from my door.
”kpon kpon kpon” it sounded again.
Who is there, i asked
its me Iya kola, the voice replied.
On hearing that, i recognised who she was.
Am coming just a minute, i answered.
I quickly stood up, packed what was left of the
food into the plate and went to drop it in the
*in case u guys never knew, iya kola is my next
door neighbour, she is like a second mother to
me and she in turn treats me as her son*
i rushed back to the room and opened the door
Good morning ma, i greeted.
Iya kola: how are you daniel?
Me: am fine ma, i replied offering her a seat.
Iya kola: hope all is well, its been a while u
Me: yes ma, i heard u travelled.
Iya kola: oh yes i did, i just got back yesterday. I
checked on you but you were not at home, the
surprising thing was that u didnt come back
home until this morning, what happened?
*ye mogbe, i don enter am today*
Me: dats true ma, i went to church, we were
having a program, we finished late and i couldn’t
make it on time which made me slept in the
Iya kola: hope u remembered me in your prayers.
Me: of course ma, why won’t i.
*see as i just package lies dey distribute for her,
please God forgive me*
Iya kola: it shall be well with you
Me: Amen, i answered.
Iya kola: here are the gifts i bought for you on
my way coming, she said extending a polythene
bag towards me.
Me: thank u very much, am grateful ma, i said
collecting it from her.
Iya kola: you are welcome. I will be on my way
now, let me go and prepare food for my husband,
she said while standing up.
Me: okay ma, please extend my greetings to
Iya kola: i will, be a good boy and remember to
read your bible always.
Me: yes ma, i replied.
After she left, i quickly emptied all the contents
of what was inside the polythene bag on the
Hmmmmmmmm, bananas, i said peeling one of
them and started eating it.
At least this is much more better than the burnt
noodles i ate recently.
After eating to my fill, i emptied the peel into the
dust bin and went into the bathroom to take my
Few minutes later after coming out of the
bathroom, i got dress up. Having nothing else to
do, i laid on the bed and took a nap, awaiting the
next day which was sunday.