[STORY] Dirty Housewife (episode 1-14)

Dirty Housewife
Dirty Housewife

Dirty Housewife
Dirty Housewife

Episode one


The bang on the door brought me out of my cool beautiful sleep that morning and I felt like killing that person who just disturbed my sleep.
I rolled off the bed and fell on the ground.
“Go away!” I groaned and tried closing my eyes but the ‘kill joy’ outside kept on banging at the door!
I already knew who it was. Who else if not Kachi!
I stood up and dragged myself to the door.
My humble name is Nancy Philips. I’m twenty three and beautiful enough.
Well… I don’t really care how I look.
I yawned and opened the door at the same time.
“Hmmm!!” Kachi covered her nose and I wondered if my mouth smelled that bad. It was just an innocent yawn


The smell that hit me right in the face almost made me have a stomachache. How could a girl’s mouth smell so badly!
“Nancy….! Did you even brush at all yesterday?”I asked her and shook my head as she fell back into bed.
It was almost twelve noon and the baboon is still sleeping.
“Nancy!” I yelled hitting her bum.
“Oh chineke! Chineke!! Bikonu, leave me alone!!” Nancy groaned.
I looked at the one room apartment and shook my head.
Nancy’s room smelled badly of rotten food and everywhere looked so dusty.

Just this last weekend, I helped her in cleaning up the room now look at the way she’s destroyed the whole place again.
“Nancy…. Have you washed that used plate since Wednesday?” I asked.
“Just this last Wednesday? No…. It’s too early na. ” She replied and yawned again.
” Jesus Christ,Nancy! Last Wednesday dish! What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked amazed.
Nancy stood up fully awake and looked at me. ” Look…you can’t be coming here to disturb my sleep oh. What’s that?” She asked and hissed.
” Tufiakwa!” I spat and shook my head. I looked at her hair and saw a cockroach crawling out.
“Jesus!” I yelled and got a broom wiping it at her head.
Nancy ran around the room, wondering why I was chasing her with a broom until the cockroach fell off.
Before my very eyes, she killed the cockroach with her bare hands.
She picked it up and threw it outside the window. I watched her…. unable to believe what she just did.


“What?” I asked wondering why she stood looking at me like that.
“Nancy….a cockroach…with your hands?” She gasped.
” And so?” I asked again,not really seeing her point.
“You just killed that disgusting thing with your hands! Nancy!” She shouted.
I hissed and sat on the bed, looking at her. ” Abeg…na wettin carry you come my house this early morning?”
Kachi shrugged her shoulders and snapped her fingers. “Have you forgotten about where we are supposed to go today? It’s Saturday.”
” I Know it’s Saturday. Where are we going?”
” To the anniversary now. The one I told you about last week. We are even running late.” She said.
“Oh…the anniversary. I totally forgot. Okay,let me throw my clothes on so we can move already.” I said getting up.
Kachi glared dangerously at me. ” Throw your clothes on? Aren’t you going to bath?” She asked.
” Ahn ahn….the one I bath a day before yesterday nko? Is that one not bath? You have started.”
Kachi threw her arms on her head and looked into heaven. “Jesus Christ,this girl has killed me.” She cried.
“Who killed you? Bia…I haven’t killed anyone in my entire life oh.
Watch your tongue.” I replied and hissed before pulling out my ghana must go bag.


I watched her as she pulled out clothes from the bag and an irritating horrible smell filled the whole room.
I covered my nose as I watched her pull out different types of smelly clothes and used underwear.
I almost suffocated. Infact… I couldn’t sit still.
The smell was murderous!
I hastily stood up and ran outside the house for some fresh air.

[nextpage title=”episode 2″]
Episode Two

I brought out the beautiful clothes I took along with me and made sure my dirty friend had a cool nice bath.

I ordered her to wear the clothes and when she was done dressing up, I sighed appreciatively.
Nancy is such a beautiful girl but this her dirtiness has killed her!
“Now you look awesome! The guys there are gonna die! ” I laughed.
Nancy rolled her eyes and we went out of the house.
We took a bike to our destination. It was midday and the party hall was already going on.

Nancy and I occupied a table and the servers quickly brought us wine.
Nancy coughed right inside her wine without covering her mouth.
I looked around and was glad no one was watching her. I pinched her on her arm.
“Ouch!” She cried and glared at me.
“Why would you do that!” I whispered angrily at her. ” Even here?
Ogini zi?” She asked.
Just then I saw my workmate, Esther who was celebrating her fifth marriage anniversary.
I quickly stood up. “Nancy…I will be right back. Let me quickly congratulate my workmate.” I said and walked towards Esther.


I belched loudly but I knew no one heard me because of the loud music.
I felt like easing myself and quickly got up.
I walked towards a door at the inner part of the hall and entered.
I eased myself and came out to find some guy waiting outside.
He glared at me. “Aunty, did you even look up at all? Didn’t you see the sign post at the door top?”,he asked and I glanced up the door with a frown.

” Male. En en?, Wetin come happen?” I asked.
” This place is for male only.” He said.
“Oh…. male piss and female piss….abeg, wetin be the difference?” I asked him.
” Just follow instructions madam”. Be matured enough.” The stupid guy said and that got me angry.
” So are you opening that useless mouth of yours to tell me I’m not matured? Are you mad?” I asked him getting ready for a fight.
“Do you now want to beat me?” He asked with an amused look.
” See I will beat you and beat all your generations join. Are you mad!” I yelled at him.
I heard movement behind me and turned to see another guy walking up to us.
“And what’s happening here?” I heard him ask in a very deep voice.


Even watching the action girl from the back,I knew she was gonna be beautiful.
But what’s a beautiful girl doing with a guy in front of the rest room?
They were quarrelling. I noticed when I got closer.
“What’s going on here?” I asked as soon as I got to them.
The girl turned to look at me and I hid a smile. I knew she was gonna be gorgeous.
“Bro….this girl is insane.” The other guy said and walked into the rest room.
” It’s your generations that are insane. Look at his head like ‘molue’ head light.” The girl shouted after him and I almost laughed.
” It’s okay.” I said instead.
I escorted her back to the party and just few conversations with her,I quickly liked her immediately.

She was so lively and full of fun.
I asked her for a dance and she quickly took my hand, dragging me to the dance floor herself.
I laughed as we danced together.
I’m not really a fan of many women but meeting her that day, I knew I had to keep in touch with her. She made the party more enjoyable to me.


I watched with amusement as Nancy danced with the strange guy and was like laughing.
A whole Nancy? With a guy?
Well…I couldn’t blame her though cos the guy looked like a prince.
Young…. richly dressed and composed.
I walked towards Esther who was busy laughing with another work mate.
“Who’s that guy?” I asked her pointing at Nancy’s direction.
“Oh the guy with your friend? That’s Patrick.
He just got back into town from the United States.
He’s a childhood friend to Jimmy my husband.
And I heard he’s searching!” Esther whispered and we laughed.
” I’m still waiting for the lucky lady to show up. Maybe it’s you.” Esther said and laughed again.
” Me? Abeg, where do you want me to put my Akin? Please oh. But I think he likes Nancy.
Just look at the way they quickly relate.” I said looking at them as they walked over to a table to sit after the dance.
“I noticed that too. I mean….Patrick doesn’t talk much.
He’s a decent guy. Nancy will be very lucky to have him as her man. ” Esther said and I nodded.
And they look perfect together. Maybe Nancy’s life will change when she finally have a man in her life.

I watched on and suddenly, some grains of rice fell off Nancy’s spoon as she was about to push it into her mouth.
Oh no! I watched in horror and got ready to run to stop her cos I knew what she’s gonna do next… in front of Patrick.

[nextpage title=”episode 3″]
Episode Three

Two weeks later…
“How’r you doing my love?” I said into the phone once she picked it up.
It’s been two weeks since I met Nancy and I’ve deeply fallen in love with her.
I’m seriously head over heels in love with her.
“I’m doing good and you?” She said and yawned from the other line.
Is she still sleeping at this time of the day?
“You must be quite tired. Are you still sleeping? It’s 1pm.” I said with a smile.
” Oh yes! It’s my day off today. And I was so tired last night that I couldn’t eat. ” She said and I smiled again.

” Sorry darling. Would you mind coming over to my house today? You’ve not been to my house and I’m looking forward to it. ” I said and sat on a couch to hear her response.
” Ahh…. Em…. Is it not too early to come to your house? I mean… We just met two weeks ago. ” She said and I sighed with admiration.
She’s a good woman and a wife material.
“No baby… I mean no harm. I just want you to come over so we can eat together and know each other more than this ” I said softly.
” Okay. What time?” She said after sometime.
Yes! ” Hmm…I will pick you up at 3pm…. make sure you are ready.” I said happily.
” No oh! Don’t come and pick me up. Just send me your address.” She said immediately and I wondered why.


En? Pick me up? No!
“I will come by myself.” I said again, looking around my room.
It wasn’t looking nice at all.
” Okay…if you insist.” He said and I breathed in as a relieve.
After I cut the call, I fell back into bed and slept off again.


I jerked up from sleep as my phone rang out again.
“Ohhh!!! Who is it nah!!” I shouted picking up the phone.
I saw Patrick’s name and looked at the time. Jesus! It was half past three and I haven’t even taken any bath.
I rushed to the phone from bed and answered his call.
“I’m… Coming!! The address? You already sent it? Okay, I’m coming. ” I said and cut the call.
I rushed into the bathroom and took a quick bath then wore the clothes I managed to wash in the night.
It was still wet but I put it on anyway.
It wasn’t hard finding the address at all.
I got to Patrick’s house and marvelled at the great sight.
The guy is stinkingly rich!
He was waiting for me at the entrance.
“Welcome dear…” He said and tried hugging me but I pulled back knowing my cloth is wet.
Patrick laughed. “Just a hug.” He said and I shook my head. He would not understand.
“Let’s go in. Late lunch is ready.” He said and we laughed as we went into the house.
“Wow ” I said staring around. The whole house was shinning and beautiful.
“Feel free.” Patrick told me.
I sat on a beautiful large sofa and watched the large TV displaying.
After a while, he came to me. ” The dinning is set. Come on.” He said with a smile.
I stood up and followed him towards a large table with chairs around it.
I tried respecting myself by salivating secretly!
The look on the table was appetising with different fruits and drinks.
He pulled out a chair for me and I sat. I grabbed my spoon and digged it into the big dish of rice.
“Hey… Hold on!” Patrick laughed. Shared on whatsapp by Martino.
“Why?” I asked, annoyed that he stopped me. My stomach growled angrily.
“You have to serve the food first. You can’t possibly eat from the large dish cos you can’t finish it, can you?” He asked.
” And who told you I can’t finish it? Watch me na. ” I replied and started feasting on the food.


Dumbfounded, I watched her eat out of the pot with the large spoon.
I quickly carried my own portion of the food before she would finish it.
Before my very eyes, Nancy actually finished the full pot!
I was shocked. She eats this much??
I stared down at the empty pot and looked at her. She cleaned her mouth and belched noisily.
“God….. Did you just finish the food?”, I asked.
“If you bring your own self, I will still eat more.
I don’t joke with food oh. You are a nice cook too. “, She said and smiled back.
I was amused as I looked at Nancy. Wow. She’s not even chubby!!
“Do you usually eat like this?” I asked still amused.
” Ahh….no oh. I ate nothing last night before going to bed tired.” She responded and I nodded.
” Oh I see.” I replied and started eating while she kept me lively with her humorous nature.
I finished eating and just then my phone rang. “I will be back. Let me answer this call. It’s one of my staff.”, I excused myself and left.
After making the call, I returned back to the dinning and saw another shocker.
The dinning was still how I left it.
Dirty plates all over the table…. dinning spoons… grains of rice ….stained and used napkins….
I stood glaring down at the table.
I looked at the chair where Nancy sat but she has already disappeared.
Where did she go to?, A common sense would have told her to clear the plates and clean up the dinning.
Like… she’s a woman and she’s supposed to know this.
I’m not asking her to wash dishes cos it’s her first time to visit me but at least she should have cleared the plates when I wasn’t available!
I left the dinning to find her sleeping comfortably on a sofa in the living room.
Infact…she was snoring away!!

Nancy…. what have you done?

[nextpage title=”episode 4″]
Episode Four

“Hmm!!” I groaned out of my sweet sleep as someone tapped me gently.
Oh goodness! Who is disturbing my sleep?
I opened my eyes to see Patrick glaring down at me.
Holy moly! I quickly stood up, smiling like an idiot.
“Are you okay?” He asked with a frown.
“Yes I am!” I replied scratching my hair.
Patrick glared back and I followed his gaze to the dinning. “Oh… Sorry I didn’t clear it. I was so exhausted from that food. ” I said quickly.
Patrick smiled. ” I warned you, didn’t I ? Now it has made you unnecessarily sick. Just relax and I will take you back home.” He said and I shook my head.
“No oh…. Don’t worry. I don’t wanna stress you. I will manage on my own. ” I replied and took my purse.
” Oh… Here, have this for transport.” Patrick said and I shook my head.
” You don’t have to give me this big money for transport, Pat.” I said slowly.
” Just take it… For your time.” He replied with a smile but I insisted.
” I’m sorry, I can’t accept it. I’ve got change in my purse, I will use it for transport. Bye. ” I replied and quickly left.

I got home and feel heavily on my bed and continued my sleep.
I don’t know why…. I just love sleeping so much.
I’m very in love with the name “sleep!”
Two days later, after coming back from work,I received a message from Pat telling me to meet him in his house once I get back from work.
I was so much in love with him now and can barely do without him.
I managed to take a quick bath and changed my clothe.
I decided to dress very well just to impress him.
I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled with satisfaction before going out of the house and locking the door.

I got to Patrick’s house and was surprised to meet other people in the house.
I was suddenly scared and shy as I walked in.
“Oh.. she’s here!” Pat said coming to my side.
An elderly woman was seated with an elderly man and I was quick to know they are Pat’s parents.
“Good day ma, good day sir.” I greeted as Pat made me sit down beside him.
“She’s the girl I’ve been telling you about.” Pat said beaming.
I shyly ducked my head as they stared at me.
“Wow… she’s beautiful.” His mom replied in a nice voice and I immediately liked her.
“Thank you ma!” I replied and smiled at her.
” Finally,our son had brought us a wife? Thank you God.” The man said and I blinked and turned to look at Pat.
Like…. Pat is gonna propose to me?
Pat laughed. “Of course dad. Her name is Nancy and I love her very much.” Pat replied making me blush.
Wow. I felt so lucky and happy. What a nice family I’ve got for myself?
When his parents left, Patrick took me to his bedroom and before I could regain myself,he knelt down before me with a beautiful ring in his hand.

I covered my mouth with my hands already nodding even before he said it out!
“I will marry you!” I cried and we hugged.
” I love you Nancy and I can’t wait to have you as my wife. I can’t wait, Nancy.” Patrick said as we hugged.
I hugged him back happily.
“I can’t wait to be your wife too ” I replied with a laugh.
” When should we do the wedding? You can start the wedding plans immediately,honey. Like immediately.” Pat said and I gasped.
” Really?” I asked happily.
” Oh yeah…this calls for celebration. Let me quickly get champagne downstairs for us.” Patrick said and pecked me before leaving.
” Yes!!” I cried happily and picked up my phone.
I dialled Kachi’s line and impatiently waited for her to pick.
“Hello.. ”
“Hello… Kachi! God has done it ohh!! He has done it!
I’m getting married!!” I announced happily.

[nextpage title=”episode 5″]
Episode Five💖

We got married two months later and Nancy finally moved in with me.
What I’ve been dying for all these while.
We had a pleasant night after our wedding and couldn’t just stop smiling till we fell into a sweet sleep.

The next morning,I got up from bed and smiling at her beautiful face.
“I’m so lucky to have you.” I whispered and kissed her before walking into the bathroom.
I finished showering and came back into the room to meet Nancy still snoring.

I went about the room getting ready for work and yet Nancy didn’t wake up.
She didn’t even shake her body.
Finally impatient, I tapped her shoulder. “Nancy…are you okay?, Are you that tired?” I asked once she opened her eyes.
” Oh…Pat! Good morning darling. I had a wonderful night with you.” She said smiling.
I smiled back. “I’m dressed up for work. Put something together for me for breakfast.” I said and left the room.
Minutes later the sweet aroma of pasta filled the house.
I went to the dining and had breakfast.
It was a sumptuous one. I actually married a good cook.
“I will be leaving now honey…sorry I’m leaving you too early. Next weekend is our honeymoon. Hmm?” I said and kissed her before leaving the house.


I yawned once Pat left for work.
God.. I was damned so tired I couldn’t lift a thing!
I couldn’t bath nor brush even after promising myself I would change from my old ways since I’m finally married.
But I couldn’t help it.
When I was sure he was gone, I fell into a couch in the leaving room and continued my sleep.


Once it was four pm, I rounded up all appointments at the office just because of my wife cos I didn’t wanna leave her alone all by herself.
I got into my car and zoomed straight to the house.
“Honey, I’m home!” I said happily as I opened the door and walked in.

The door was opened and I wondered why Nancy would leave all the doors opened.
I got into the living room and my eyes widened.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
The dinning room was just the same way I left it!
I gasped when I saw Nancy sleeping comfortably in the couch still in her night wear.
I couldn’t believe it. “Nancy!” I yelled and she stretched.

She stretched and looked around. “hey? I’ve slept off again!” She said and stood up.
She walked towards me and hugged me.
I coughed and held my nose!
What is this? Why does she have such a bad odor?
“Nancy…have you taken your bath today.” I asked slowly and she shook her head.
She shook her head and I stepped away from her. “What? Since morning…you’ve been sleeping?I asked dumbfounded.
“I was tired….” Nancy replied and I almost died at the odor her mouth gave.
“Nancy….. what’s all these!
Did you even brush?” I asked perplexed.
And Nancy shook her head yawning.
I moved back. Hope I’ve not made a wrong choice??
OK na

[nextpage title=”episode 6″]
Episode Six
I hope I’ve not made a bad choice? I asked myself as I glared her.
“Nancy… You have not taken a bath all day?” I asked again.
“Why the question na! I was tired! ” She responded before turning and going upstairs.
What the hell!

After recovering from the shock, I walked upstairs into our bedroom to see another shock.
Holly Molly. The room looked like a war sight!
I almost couldn’t recognize my room.
On the bed were different types of used undies and night wears.
On the floor was a dirty smelly pad.

The room floor was littered around with piece of water proves and shoes.
It was unexplainable. I stared helplessly around and it took all the strength in me not to faint.
She came out of the bathroom wet and most part of her body was still soapy.

“What’s the meaning of this, Nancy? Please tell me what happened here. ” I said, finding myself a good seat.
“It was while I was trying to find our my towel and I scattered everything in the process.
I will arrange it back now ” Nancy said and I watched her dress into her nightgown.
She bent and started picking everything off the ground.

Soon, everywhere was back to normal and I was able to take a walk bath.
When we were due for bed,I walked into the bedroom and locked the door.
Nance was already dozing off on the bed and I glared angrily at her.

Why does she likes sleeping so much!
I sat beside her on the bed and tapped her at the shoulder. “Nancy..wake up. We gat to talk.” I said softly, smiling at her beautiful face. Coolval stories.
Nancy stirred and raised her arm and a very annoying smell sprang up.

I twitched my nose in reaction and moved back.
What the hell is this? Nancy’s armpit looked like a rotten bush!
Why is she suddenly changing into pig?
Was she like this before?
I asked myself.
That night I couldn’t sleep beside her. Get breath was bad.
I only picked one of the pillow in bed and walked downstairs and slept in the living room.


I woke up the next morning to ease myself only to find out I was alone.
Where could he have gone to?
I looked at the bed and it didn’t seem like he slept there last night.

I eased myself in the toilet and when downstairs and saw him sleeping on a couch.
“Pat?, Honey! Why are you sleeping on a couch?, Is this where you spent your night?” I asked him.
” Yes.”, He snapped, moving away from me. He turned over to the other side and continued sleeping.

I lay on him but he shrugged me off.
“Nancy..I’m tired. It’s just half past six. I need to rest cos I have a lot of work to do at the office today.” He said and slept on.
I stared at his back wondering why he was giving me the cold treatment.

Why did he slept here on the couch and I didn’t noticed through out the night?
Nancy..your love for sleep is becoming too much. I cautioned myself.
I tried holding him again but Pat stood up angrily and picked his pillow.
“If you won’t let me rest, I will leave the couch for you.”, He said and walked up the stairs.
I stared after him.
What happened?
I was worried. What happened? Have I done something wrong??

[nextpage title=”episode 7″]
Episode Seven

Later that day at the office, I had a rethink.
I knew what I did last night was a bit too cruel.
I love Nancy very much and I should help correct her mistakes not pushing her away.
Never knew she could be this dirty.
What do I do? I asked myself thinking deeply.
“Oh girl…. Marriage life is showing on your body!” Kachi laughed as she sat down on a couch.
” Na you Sabi. So, when did you get back?”, I asked her.
“Last week. ”
” Last week? Haba! Since last week and it’s now you were coming to visit me! ” I exclaimed.
Kachi hissed. ” See, don’t be annoyed. I had a lot to take care of. So how is our husband na? ” She asked winking her eyes.
I shrugged. ” He’s fine. He has gone to work. ” I replied moodily.
” Are you okay? Is anything the matter?” Kachi asked once she noticed my mood.
I looked at her. “I won’t lie to you. Pat is changing every minute passing. I don’t seem to understand him anymore. ” I replied.
” What? How many months marriage? Ahhh…. No oh.
That’s too early. What really went wrong? ” Kachi asked and I explained last night incidence to her.
Kachi looked thoughtfully for a while before glaring at me.
“You must have done something wrong.
Yes. Try and find out what it is but wait oh, I hope you have changed from your dirtiness? ” Kachi asked and I frowned.
” And what’s that supposed to mean? Stop it… I don’t like it.” I replied, crossed.
” Oh sorry… I’m just saying. But try very hard to know why your husband is giving you attitude. ” Kachi advised.
” What will you like to eat joor?” I asked with my mouth pouted.
” Thank you. I’m not a visitor. When I’m hungry, I’m going to go into the kitchen and get myself something. ” Kachi replied, rolling her eyes.
” Na you Sabi. ” I answered, resting more into the couch.


Hmm!!! I quickly covered my nose once I got into my friend’s kitchen!
I almost ran back.
Everywhere looked like some cows came in and had a big fight.
Dirty plates littered around…. Dirty cutleries…. Pots and everywhere was so dusty.
Jesus Christ!
Why won’t Patrick change towards her?
What sort of a woman leaves her home this dirty?
I stood, with my mouth wide opened under my palm.
How on Earth am I gonna take food from this place?
Gross! Never!
I turned and ran out of the kitchen.

*****Two weeks later*******


My wife’s dirtiness became unbearable.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
She baths once in two days!
She doesn’t sweep the house! She doesn’t do the dishes.
She leaves the home unclean. And she smells!
I couldn’t even make love to her. I couldn’t sleep comfortably beside her talk less of touching her.
I tried correcting her severally but she only gets worst.
I decided to take a drastic move.


I sat on the floor in the living room, scooping rice into my mouth with my hand.
The cutleries were all dirty so I decided to eat with my hand straight from the pot.
The time was 8pm and Pat was yet to be back from work.
Even as I ate,I was worried.
Finally,his car drove into the compound.
Minutes later,I heard the door opening.
I glanced up with a smile and my smile quickly faded.
Beside my husband is a beautiful looking woman.
And they were holding hands.
I stopped eating and stood up with my dirty hand pointing toward the woman. “Who’s this?”
“Yuck…so dirty ” I heard her say.
Patrick looked at me and pulled the woman closer to himself. “She’s Lucy, My new wife.”
He announced and I gasped.

[nextpage title=”episode 8″]
Episode Eight

The next morning was hell.
I couldn’t think straight. I just sat in bed all morning wallowing in self pity.
My door suddenly opened and Lucy stepped in gingerly.
She walked on the floor as though she was trampling on human faeces.
“What are you doing here?” I asked looking at her.
“This place looks so irritating! I wonder how you survive with these smells! ” Lucy spatted and I stood up..
” It’s none of your business how I chose to run my home you husband snatcher! ” I yelled at her and she laughed.
” Oh really? Well, point of correction. I did not snatch your husband. Your husband only made the right choice cos you are nothing but a pig.” She said and I almost slapped her but refrained.
” Get out.” I said with an heavy voice. “Get out of my room!!” I yelled and she laughed.
“Did I just hear you say room?? No dear, this isn’t a room. It’s a cow’s dunk.
I will get out anyways. I can’t risk another minute here. “, She laughed and walked out.
I sank into bed and wept.


I came back home in the night after a hectic day.
I went into my room and met Lucy sitting on my bed putting on a skimpy night wear.
“Hello… welcome.” She greeted while I continued staring at her.
Why is she dressed that way?
” Lucy….never mind.” I said and moved over to my wardrobe.
” Should I make you something to eat?” She asked sweetly and I gave up.
” Okay, Lucy. What really are you up to? Cooking for me isn’t part of the deal.” I said.
Lucy rolled her eyes and walked over to me.
She placed her hand seductively on my shoulder before smiling at me. “I mean no harm.

I figured out that your wife will be so annoyed to cook for you and plus, it’s gonna create more impression that we are really together.”, She said and I pulled her hand away.
” We need no more impression,Lucy. We are good like this. I don’t want to stress you into cooking.”I said with a smile.
But Lucy wasn’t smiling. She only nodded and I walked into the bathroom to take a shower.


I heard his footsteps on the stairs as he returned back from work.
I stayed in the guest room, hoping he would come see me but he did no such thing.
I was heartbroken. He only walked straight into our matrimonial room to meet his new wife.
What do I do to make him love me again?
Where did I go wrong?

At this point,I decided it was high time I changed before that woman finally take control of my house.
I went out of the guest room and walked to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.
After drinking the coffee, I threw the cup into the zinc but on a second thought, I took the cup again and rinsed it.
Normally, I would have left it there unwashed.
Smiling,I decided it was time to change.


I tightened my fist as I watched him walk intoxicated to the bathroom.
Does he think I’m a fool?
God…this guy is not only handsome, he’s super rich!
Who wouldn’t want such a guy?
I’m a typical Edo girl and we are always sharp,abeg.
I can’t let this guy slip off my finger.
I’ve got to make this real. He possibly can’t continue keeping that pig as a wife,can he?
No way. I gat to replace her for real


[nextpage title=”episode 9″]
Episode Nine

I woke up the next morning and looked around the guest room.
I went out and got the broom stick and started sweeping the floor.

After that, I dusted the blinds and curtains, changed the bedspread and took the old one into the laundry room.
I put out my used clothes too and dumped them into the washing machine.
After that, I looked at myself in the mirror and touched my hair.

I sniffed my hand and gasped. It really smells!
I walked into the bathroom and stripped myself before turning on the shower.
I washed my hair and body thoroughly.

After taking my bath, I walked back into the room and put on one of my newest clothes.
When I looked into the mirror, I saw something different.
I saw a different person… A different Nancy.
I walked out of my room satisfied with my look.


I knotted my tie in front of the mirror, hastily dressing up for work.
Lucy didn’t wake me up and I overslept.
I’m the boss though but I hate getting to work late. I love living by example.

“Good morning darling.” Lucy greeted, looking at me from the bed.
I turned briefly to look at her. “You don’t have to call me that here.” I replied.
“Come on. I’m just being more effective.” She said and laughed.
Suddenly,I felt her arms around me. I stood still and sighed.
“We don’t need this,Lucy. What are you doing?” I asked, giving her a side ways look.
” Just wanna do this, Patrick. You don’t expect me to completely ignore you while pretending to be your wife?”she asked and I turned around to look at her.
” Now, what’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
Lucy shrugged and sighed. “It’s hard pretending.
Just want you to touch me just once… please” she said and before I could say anything,she threw her arms around my neck and started kissing me.
She pulled me towards the bed,her legs wrapped firmly against my body.

I tried to protest but she stripped naked and things got out of hand.
She was an expert and I found it hard to escape. She grabbed my d**k and rubbed gently till I became hard and carried away.


“This shouldn’t have happened between us!” I yelled angrily as I smacked my head.
I realized what we were doing after the deed had been done.
I was so ashamed of myself. I decided I would end this game with Lucy and make up with my wife.
Things were fast getting out of hand.
“I’m sorry…. I couldn’t keep my feelings secret anymore. ” Lucy said touching my back.
“Get your hands off me.” I snapped at her and get off the bed.

I dressed up quickly, already late for work.
I opened the door and walked downstairs to behold the most striking view of my life.
Setting the dinning was Nancy, looking so changed and beautiful.
I swallowed hard and stared on. She looked extremely beautiful and sparking!


“Breakfast is ready.” I said once I set eyes on Patrick. Coolval stories .
He walked towards the dinning, his eyes on me.
I tried hard not to blush…the way his eyes lingered on my body.
He must have noticed the difference too.
“Good morning.” I greeted softly.
He sat down still looking at me. ” You look different.” He said.
I nodded. “I figured out why you changed towards me.” I replied, serving his breakfast.
I caught him smiling. “Why?”
“I was dirty. Extremely.” I replied and sat opposite him.
He looked into my eyes and held my hand from across the table. “Finally.” He sighed and I looked at him.
” I’m sorry if I made you do something unpleasant. Never realised I was destroying my home.” I said and sighed knowing fully well that it was too late.
“It was all a game.” Patrick said suddenly.
I looked at him. ” What? What game?” I asked.
“Lucy. She’s not my wife. It was just a game to correct you.” He said with a smile.
I gasped. “What?” I exclaimed.
Just then, Lucy came down laughing.
“Lies! Lies!! Don’t get too excited,pig. It isn’t a game.
I’ve decided to make it real!”She snapped.
” Are you crazy? What the hell are you talking about?!” Patrick fired back.
” Oh… Look at this man. So you think you can use me anyhow and dump me?
You think you can sleep with me and toss me into the trash can? ‘ she yelled into Patrick’s face.
I gasped and stood up. They had sex already?
I was so heartbroken.
How could he do this to me?
I turned and ran out of the dinning center.
“Nancy! It’s not what you think! Nancy!” Patrick shouted but I didn’t look back.

I only ran into my room with the intention of packing my things.
It really was too late to make amendment.


“You witch!!” I roared, trying so hard to control myself from hitting her as she laughed.
“It was all a game! Why are you causing trouble?” I asked.
“Oh really? You call it trouble? No, husband!
I call it being sharp. Like very sharp! What do you take me for? No, what really do you take me for?
Some piece of trash? That you can toss into the waste bin? Now let me tell you this.

We had a great sex yesterday night and it means a lot to me. Get that into your head! “She said into my face before walking off.
I groaned and tightened my fists. What am I gonna do now? What really am I gonna do?


Imagine? So, this guy actually thought that he could use me and dump me then go back to his pig of a wife, hun?
I laughed as I got into my room and started thinking of what to do.

How I wish what we did last night would result into a pregnancy. Hmm….they will be cool.
Pat is my dream man…. he’s got everything a woman would want from a man.
He’s handsome,so rich,brave and hard-working!
I would be a fool if I should walk away without anything.
I must be smart and sharp here. Who comes into such a lovely house as a wife and go back?
Am I stupid?
If he must go back to his pig of a wife,then he will have to marry me too.
That’s it.
Oh….how I wish I’m gonna be pregnant.
I will have to visit the hospital soon. Perhaps…..this sex we had would turn into pregnancy.
I smiled and laughed again as I fell on the bed

[nextpage title=”episode 10″]
Episode Ten

I was greatly joyous when I heard the truth.
Patrick is not gonna be having a second wife after all.
That morning, I made sure I kept everywhere clean.
I mopped our bedroom and was dusting the curtains when the door suddenly opened and Lucy stepped in.
She looked mockingly at me and laughed.
“Finally trying to be neat, pig? Whatever you do… You will always remain a pig. ” She said and I smiled.
” I don’t know why you are being so angry.” I told her casually and she flared up.
” How dare you speak to me in that manner! Oh… now I Know you are not only a pig, you are dumb as well!” She yelled at me.
” Thank you. Now… If you will excuse me…. ” I was yet to finish my word when suddenly I felt a hot slap on my cheek.
I glared at her. “Did you just slap me?” I asked.
“Yes! And I will slap you again and again if you don’t mind that dirty mouth of yours!” She yelled at me.

I was beginning to lose my cool when Patrick came in.
“What’s happening here?” He asked.
“What does it look like is happening?” Lucy threw back rudely.
“Don’t talk to my husband like that! ” I screamed at her and she laughed again.
“Point of correction…. Our husband!” She snapped.
“What has come over you, Lucy? For heaven’s sake, we had a deal and I’m saying right now that we should cancel the deal.
I’m gonna pay you your money! What’s your problem? “, Patrick yelled.
” Oh no…. You are my problem Patrick. This deal can’t be over. I want us to make it real. ” Lucy said and I felt like laughing.
” You must be insane. First thing tommorow morning, I don’t want to see you in my house! This deal is over! ” Patrick yelled but Lucy only laughed and walked off.
I breathed in and looked at Patrick. “What are we gonna do about her?”
“We have to make her go. She cant possibly stay in someone’s house forcefully. ” Patrick replied and I nodded.


I walked angrily away outside fuming.
What does he take me for?
No.. what do they take me for? Some piece of invaluable trash?
I had shown them what I’m capable of doing!

***Two months later***

I began feeling dizzy two months later after left Patrick’s house.
I left after the case was settled in court.
I returned home in anger and sorrow cos I’ve come to see Patrick as my husband now he wants to run back to his pig wife all because she changed!
I went to the hospital cos I already started losing weight and I sleep almost all of the time
I knew I was getting sick so I visited the hospital.
The doctor ran a test on me and it proved possible!
“Um…miss. You are two months gone now. Congratulations.” The doctor said with a smile and I gasped.
I couldn’t believe it!,
“Wait ..doc…you mean I’m pregnant??”I asked.
The doctor nodded. ” Yes you are.” He replied.
“Oh my God… oh my gosh…..I can’t believe this!, Patrick!!

Finally my dream has come true!
I’m pregnant!!
I picked up my bag and ran out of the doctor’s office, straight to Patrick’s house.
This is the end of it all.. let me see how he comes out of it now!!

Them say wahala be like wetin again???

[nextpage title=”episode 11″]
Dirty Housewife
Episode Eleven

I paced about in the living room really angry.
I snapped around to look at Lucy again.
“Did you just say you are pregnant? For me?” I asked.
She nodded with a smile. “I’m carrying your baby, Pat. Yes! I’m pregnant!!” She exclaimed happily.
” Who’s pregnant?”

I turned around to see Nancy coming towards us. I breathed in and sat down heavily on a chair.
“What’s going on here?”, Nancy asked again.
” You wanna know? Well I’m pregnant for our husband!”Lucy snapped.
,As expected, Nancy looked hurt and shockingly at me. “Patrick?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.” I replied and watched her back upstairs.
I looked at Lucy again. What have I done to myself?


Huge tears dropped off my eyes as I sat on the bed, thinking.
So this Lucy of a woman has finally succeeded in dividing my home?
I wept like never before cos I knew everything was my own fault.

If I had been a good wife, Lucy would never had the chance to come into my home and destroy it.
The door opened and she came in with laughter.
I stood up, facing her. “What exactly do you want Lucy, why can’t you just leave us alone? “I asked.
” Leave you alone? Oh no. You know that’s not possible. And for your information, I will be the first wife to be having his baby so I deserve some respect from your side. ” Lucy said and I shook with laughter.
” Is it funny to you?” She asked and I look at her.
“Whatever your plans are, they are never gonna work. Read my lips… They aren’t gonna work! ” I yelled at her and she laughed.
” Don’t shout yet my dear. Save it for later when I’m gonna be getting married to Patrick… My dream man. ” She said and laughed again.
I almost wanted to slap her but refrained. I smiled instead.
“You are just a frustrated desperate woman, Lucy.
Let me remind you that you are nothing but a concubine in this house!! ” I yelled at her and her countenance changed.
” If that word comes out of your mouth again… I’m gonna slap you…!”
“Try it and see me in action!! ” I cut her short, edging closer to her.

Her chest heaved up and down in anger but I didn’t really care. I stared at her eye balls to eye balls!
“No mater what you do… You will always be a concubine! ” I whispered at her and she raised her hand to slap me.
Just then, the door opened and Patrick came in.
“And what the hell is happening here!!” He yelled.


I scoffed before looking at him. “I will advise you talk to her, Patrick. She’s trying my patience! Let her understand that I’m carrying your child! ” I fumed.
” Hold on! Wait a minute! Why do you keep saying you are carrying my child?
I’m here to say no to that! ” Patrick thundered and I laughed.
” Wow….. Look at you,what a Marvelous joker! You don’t know what you are saying!
Whether you like it or not Patrick.. I’m carrying your child and that’s final! ” With that I left the room.

Once downstairs,I bursted out laughing. Oh,I’m gonna enjoy this in a very long time!

[nextpage title=”episode 12″]
Episode Twelve

“Kachi … How could you! How could you suggest such a thing?
Now, there’s a devil in my house! ” I wept that morning as I sat in Kachi’s living room.
She paced about angrily. “I never knew it would turn out like this!
What the hell is wrong with Lucy? Did you get selfish? ” Kachi asked.
” I’m the main cause of everything. This wouldn’t have happened if I had been a good wife. What am I gonna do now? I can’t lose my marriage to that desperate witch! ” I cried.
” We will come up with a solution. Don’t cry. ” Kachi assured me.


I was cooking in the kitchen and singing happily when Nancy entered.
“Lucy….. That cooker is for me and I want to use it. Why can’t you just get a new cooker and stop looking for trouble.” She said and I turned back to look at her.
“Really? How is using your cooker looking for trouble?”
“Well that’s because I wanna use it right now. I want to cook for my husband. “She replied and I laughed.
” You don’t have to stress yourself, dear. I’m already doing that. ” I replied.
” Why are you tormenting me, Lucy? Why?? ” She asked and I shook my head innocently.
” No I’m not ohh. As a matter of fact, you are the one tormenting me here cos you’ve refused to accept me as one of this family.
But I don’t need your acceptance. All I need is Patrick to love me and my unborn baby ” I said and laughed.

“Hurry up with that…. I won’t banter words with you. You are just a desperate witch. ” She said and that got me immediately annoyed.
I stepped in front of her. “What did you just call me?”
“You heard me right Lucy. I feel so sorry for you. ” She replied.
I raised my hand and gave a her thunderous slap. “Don’t you dare talk to me that way!!”
She turned back to look at me. ” Is that all you’ve got? Slapping?” She asked and I laughed.
“Watch what you say to me, Nancy. I’m dangerous. ” I said to her before turning off the cooker.
I left her standing there and walked out of the kitchen.
She thinks I’m here to joke with her! But I’m gonna show her I’m really here to take her place.


I wept bitterly when she left. I don’t really think I can endure this.
But then, I can’t leave my matrimonial home all because of her.
I wiped my tears and braced up.
This is my cross. And I have to carry it.
I won’t run away from it, loosing my home.


I walked into my room and almost immediately, my phone began to ring.
I picked up the phone and the doctor’s voice came on line.
“Why are you calling me now? I’m still at home!” I whispered into the phone.
” I’ve been waiting since yesterday. Where is my payment? “He asked and I looked back nervously, making sure no one was eavesdropping.
“Calm down doctor. I will come later in the day with your money. Just don’t fail your promise. “I whispered into the phone and cut the line immediately.
I breathed in and arranged some money for the doctor.
I’ve got to take it to him immediately so my plans would be intact.
Hold on a sec
….what plan is she talking about???

[nextpage title=”episode 13″]
Episode Thirteen

“I can’t take this anymore!” I cried as soon as Patrick came into the guest room to see me.
“What are you gonna do then? All we have to do is exercise some patients. She’s carrying my baby. ” Patrick said and I gasped.
” How could you say that to my face!!” I cried.
“Look….. No need to start crying over spilled milk, Nancy. What we need right now is solution. That’s it. ” Patrick said and turned away, pissed off.
I stood up looking at him. “I know this is all my fault, Patrick. But we can’t allow that woman into our lives! ” I wept.
” So… What do you suggest we do? No, what do you suggest I do? Throw her out with the unborn baby??” Patrick asked and I glared at him.
” That woman has got to leave or I’m gonna walk out of this marriage. ” I said sternly but to my surprise, Patrick nodded and shrugged.
,”Your wish.” With that, he walked out of the room. I gasped in tears and sat down on the bed, crying heavily.
What have I done??

Angrily, I walk over to the closet and flung out all the clothes in it. I got my bag and packed the clothes together.
Either making a mistake or not, j really didn’t care at the moment.

I just wanted to get out of the house cos Lucy’s presence kept tormenting me.
I was pulling my luggage with me down stairs when Lucy walked in and saw me.
She stood and had a good laugh. “What a wonderful decision you’ve taken my dear.
It high time you really leave this house and thank goodness you didn’t allow me send you packing instead. ” She said and laughed again.
I smiled at her. ” I just want to remind you of something Lucy.

You can never reap what you did not sow, okay? This is my place and I’m coming back to take it!! ” I yelled at her.


I couldn’t stop laughing when she said that.
“It’s your place alright but you misused it! I’m a good user and I will help you manage it very well.
Don’t worry darling!!” I laughed again and walked past her, going upstairs to the couple’s bedroom.
I got in and looked around happily. Finally she left!!

Oh my God!! I’m gonna have Patrick and this whole beautiful house to myself??
I couldn’t have been more happier!
I got into the bathroom first and had a cool bath.
Then I changed into a casual wear and got ready for Patrick.

Maybe after another round of sex,I might really get pregnant and cut this whole fake thing with doctor Ambrose off.
My phone began to ring. I looked at the screen and was immediately alarmed.
It’s doctor Ambrose again!
I thought I gave him his money not long ago. Why the hell is he still calling me??
“Hello!” I snapped into the phone once I picked it up.
“Don’t shout.” Doctor Ambrose hisses from the other line.
“Fine…what do you want again? I thought I gave you the money already today?”
” Yes you did but the money is not complete. You said he’s gonna come tommorow for tests that will show you are really pregnant.
I will have to fake out a test result. You think it’s gonna be easy?
You have to pay for that too!” Doctor Ambrose said and I sighed.
” Okay I will forward the money to you for the fake results. I’m counting on you doctor Ambrose. My life depends on this!!”
” You don’t have to worry so far you play your part well.” Doctor Ambrose replied.
Minutes later,I cut the call and sighed.
That was a close one.


I gasped with shock at what I heard!
Fake test results??
I’ve been eavesdropping on her ever since she started the call.
I came back upstairs but got interested in the phone call so I listened.
Wait a minute…what fake test result is she talking about?
Who’s doctor Ambrose??

[nextpage title=”episode 14″]
Last episode..


I was shocked to hear that from her. Is it possible Lucy isn’t pregnant but trying to fake one?
I decided I would stay and save my home. Hurriedly I went back into the guest room and started scheming out plans.
Firstly I dialled Pat’s line. He picked up almost immediately “Pat…. Are you there?”
“Yeah. What is happening? You sound urgent”
” There’s something I have to tell you right now. Come on a soon as you can.”I said quietly and cut the line when I heard her opening the door.
She stepped in looking at me. “I thought you left already. What are you still doing here!” She yelled at me and I smiled.
” You think I’m really gonna leave my home for you to destroy? I’m gonna stat and save my marriage!” I yelled back and she laughed.
” Okay, continue staying. We shall see who’s going away.”
I smiled. ” It’s you who is going away my dear cos you don’t belong here.” I said into her face.
She raised her hand to slap me but I held her hand and threw it off.

She gasped and glared at me. “You think you’re strong now,hun? I will be back!” She yelled and left the house. Shared on whatsapp by Martino.
I looked down from the window and saw her entering one of Pat’s car.
I ran out of the room and hid until she had driven out of the compound.
I got into my own car and trailed slowly and carefully behind her.


I got into the doctor’s office and met him attending to a patient.
He quickly dismissed him and asked me to sit.
I did and brought out another pack of money. “So….the deal is done. It’s left for you to play your part now, doctor. During the day we are gonna come for test and DNA….I want you to make it look very real!” I commanded and he nodded with a smile.
“Very well then. I’ve got to start going. I don’t want then to start suspecting me.” I said and got up.
I walked to the door and pulled it open and gasped almost collapsing.
At the door entrance is Nancy, staring at me so shocked.
I was shaking. I couldn’t believe I was seeing her!
She… She heard everything??



After she was taken away with the corrupt doctor by the police,Pat and I returned home so happy and excited.
I couldn’t contain the type of joy I was having at the sudden change of events.
It was a miracle to me.
That night later as we ate happily on the dinning,I finally felt the urge to throw up.
So I rushed to the restroom and vomited.
I was surprised cos I wasn’t sick lately.
“Are you okay honey?” Patrick asked as soon as I came back to the dinning.
I smiled.” I will just see the doctor tommorow.” I said and we continued eating.
Well the next day,I bit the hospital and cane back home almost dying of excitement.
“I’m pregnant,Pat!! Four weeks gone!” I screamed excitedly once I got home and we had a great celebration and went out, having a nice time.
I couldn’t still believe my family was back.
It was a miracle to me!! A bit one!!
Months later,I gave birth to our first baby boy,Danny.
And together we lived happily ever after.

***The end!!***