[STORY] Crime & Adventure (episode 1-12)

Crime & Adventure

Episode 1

I walked into the inner chambers of the
ATM hall to make a withdrawal; low and
behold, an ATM card was in the mouth
of the machine. Was that the mouth? I
guess not! The mouth should be where it
vomits the cash. So I can call it the eye,
or ear….or….okk, not that! you know
what I mean shaa…a card was in the
card-entrance of the machine. The
machine was blinking and sounding a
light warning note, like a notification for
the card waiting for collection. It wasn’t
hard to decode what had happened. The
last person to use the machine must
have collected his cash and zoomed off
without collecting his card.
I looked left and right, the other two
machines were occupied. No one seem to
notice what was going on. There was no
queue, the fourth machine opposite mine
was still empty. I pushed the card back
in slightly. For the next 9 seconds or so,
my mind was wondering what will be
next. The machine welcomed me…or
welcomed the owner of the card with
name displayed on the screen;
prompting me for a password.
I calmly punched in the numbers…
1:2:3:4 and pressed enter key.
Wrong Password!
Well, what was I thinking! Which dunce
in this information age will use such a
weak password. Would have been
surprised if it worked.
“Do you need more time for your
The ATM machine was prompting me to
proceed or get-the-fvck out of its
presence. I pressed the no button and it
ejected the card. The other two guys
making withdrawal from the other
machines left. The hall was empty, just
me and 4 ATM machines. I decided to
get adventurous.
I looked at the ATM card in my hand.
The name of the owner was written fully.
I brought out my phone and searched
facebook for the name. 2min later, I got
the owners full profile and date of birth.
This was gonna be fun!
Born in 2nd february, 1979, there were
only 2 possible password combinations
and after that, no more!
For some unknown reason, I tried the
second one first…it worked!
I was staring at the control panel of the
account…Balance, Withdrawal, Inquiry,
Transfer, Statement….
I heard the footstep behind me and my
heart nearly jumped out of my mouth. I
turned around just in time to see a man
walk into the hall. He looked at me with
a cold eyes, like he was about to jump at
me. I felt a hard notch down my throat,
like a fist trying to suffocate me. The
man was approaching me calmly like he
knew I had no place to run to; like a cat
backed on the walls! I prayed the earth
would open and swallow me! I was
almost having a heart-attack; or a
stroke whichever one kills faster. I
opened my mouth to speak but nothing
came out. I swallowed hard and felt my
throat ache like I hard burning coal in
my throat.
Then, all of a sudden, the man walked
past me to the nearby ATM machine. He
stared at me one last time like he knew I
wasn’t all right; then he faced his
machine and started his transaction.
“Do you need more time for your
The ATM was asking me once more.
Then I got confused! What was I doing?
Adventure at first, but now this was
crime! Pure crime! There should be a
boundary between adventures and crime:
I think I just overstepped the boundary. I
wondered what would have happened if
that man was the original owner of the
card?! Well, the name on the card and
the facebook profile was that of a lady.
Could still have been the owner! A lady
will raise hell if she happened on
someone trying to rob her. A guy might
be understanding but a lady will sure
raise hell.
“Please take your card”!
The machine was tired of my bullshit. It
vomited the card and continued its light
warning note for me to collect the card. I
contemplated on leaving the card there:
just the way it was when I met it. On a
second thought, another person may
stumble on it and wreck more havoc. I
decided to hand it over to the bank
security still on duty. One last thought
occurred to me as I was walking towards
the security post: I checked the owner’s
facebook profile again and her number
was there.
Well, if I was going to be a good
samaritan, I better get some
acknowledgment and a vote of thanks.
I dialed the number and she picked on
the second ring.
It was a rich voice with no accent.
‘Hello…’ I replied and informed her she
had forgotten her card in the ATM
machine at the bank premises.
‘Really?’ She asked nonchalantly.
‘Yes ma’ I replied.
There was silence on the other line…
‘Hello?’ I wanted to make sure she heard
me alright.
‘Yes, I’m still here.’ She said.
She informed me she was on a car to an
urgent function and can’t turn around
‘I will call you later in the evening for it.’
She concluded.
I walked back to the atm machine. I still
needed to make some withdrawals. I
inserted my card and completed my
transaction. Then, out of inquisitiveness,
I decided to check her account balance.
It wasn’t like she will be notified that
someone checked her account balance:
it was only during withdrawals that such
notification is sent.
I inserted the card, punched the
numbers, selected balance inquiry and
I needed to get closer to the machine to
get a clearer picture: it was 8 digits in
the savings account, another 8 digits in
the current account.
Cool, solid cash in millions! So many
thoughts rushed through my mind. I had
to remind myself the difference between
crime and adventure and to stay on the
other side of the line. Moreover, I had
made the call with my phone line.
“Do you need more time for your
D–n this ATM machine! I was sure it
had some evil spirits inside it. Who
knows if it actually caused that innocent
woman to forget her card.
‘Please take your card’
‘Fool…’ I cursed it before walking out of
the bank.
[nextpage title=”episode 2″]

Episode 2

I spent the better part of the day
contemplating on the choice I just made.
My carnal mind was at war with my
moral mind. I love adventures, but not
so keen on crime. I have a natural
phobia for crime; especially when it
involves robbing innocent people. But
millions of naira? What more could be
It was a long boring day. I had traveled
down to Ph enroute home to attend a
wedding and spend some time with my
friends at the city. My friend was still at
work: his holiday was just the 25th and
26th. I was lucky with 2 weeks break
from work. Ph hasn’t been all that fun
since I arrived. I was already running
short of cash from endless hanging out
due to boredom. I could really make do
with some money but I wasn’t going to
steal some.
Since I got nothing much to do, I decided
to probe more into the lady who owned
the card. With such millions lodged into
an account, she must be wealthy.
I did a little background check and it
was obvious she was active in the social
media. Her facebook wall was updated
regularly with recent events. I browsed
her profile fully: she was the ceo of a
beauty spa at Abuja: she lives in Abuja
and had two salons at different areas in
the town.
I kept searching: from her recent
updates, she was in ph for an event: a
wedding ceremony. She was a mother of
two; no info about her marriage history
or her husband. Just some random pix
of she and different men. She had two
facebook pages, all devoted to beauty
tips; make-ups, wears, trending fashion
tips, pictures of she and a lot of
celebrities, mostly from the movie
industry. She also had some others I
suspect to be politicians. She had pix of
her trips out of the country: there was
Dubai, London, Paris, Doha, South Africa
and the Seychelles. Then there was a
third facebook page which was for a
closed user-group. Didn’t know what the
content were as I couldn’t access it.
I kept searching:
She was on Instagram so I took the
liberty of digging further. Her walls were
filled with nice pix of her and her
daughters. She had pix with celebrities.
It was obvious she was the fun-loving
type, rich and gorgeous.
When I was bored of checking up on her,
I decided to head to my friend’s place.
He wasn’t back from work yet so I
watched some movies with the laptop.
By 6pm, she hadn’t called yet. When it
got to 7pm and I didn’t get a call, I
decided to give her a call. When she
picked, it was obvious she was at a
noisy place.
“Who am I speaking with?” She inquired
as she picked the call.
“The guy with your atm card.” I said
confidently believing I would pique her
“Oh, you again!” She proclaimed like I
was bordering her life. I swallowed hard
and allowed her to continue.
“I’m in a function and I can’t speak right
now, I will inform you of what to do.” She
said categorically and cut the call.
I stared blankly at my phone for some
minutes and could hardly make out
sense in the situation.
Just then, my friend returned from work
and I told him all that happened. As
usual, he didn’t have any useful advise
to give.
“Just do what you feel is right.” He
answered casually.
What I felt was right? Should have flung
the d–n card away!
Some minutes later, a text message
entered my phone:
‘Drop the card with the receptionist at
Hotel Presidential, tell them its for the
occupant of Rm 19D.’
How convenient! I thought to myself.
Now I’m a courier guy delivering lost
cards. What else won’t I do for her!
Maybe I should just flush the card down
the toilet!
“Did I tell you I had her password?” I
asked my friend who was busy playing
Winning Eleven with the laptop.
“What do you want to do? Steal from a
poor woman?” He asked.
“She’s not poor, she’s rich and there
were millions in her account!” I said to
“Do what you want to do!” He said
I thought about it again. It was more
annoying than I anticipated. There was
little more that I could do at the
moment. There was no way I would be
going to the Presidential Hotel to deliver
an Atm card in absentia like I was a
delivery boy.
“Can you imagine these guys mandated
that I come to work on the 26th?” My
friend asked, looking up to me. Typical of
him, he doesn’t have any useful advise
to give when you inform him of
something but expects you to listen to
his whining about work.
“I can’t wait to leave this company!” He
lamented again.
That has been his watchword since he
got this job. He’s been with the same
company for over 3 years now, whining
about how he hates his job but makes
little or no effort to leave them.
“Do what you want to do!” I replied him.
“Fool!” He lamented and I smiled.
The only time we have a meaningful
conversation is when we talk about girls.
Nothing takes his mind away from
playing games in the laptop except the
talk of girls and when you give him a
listening ear to his whining about job:
that and when he was very hungry.
I picked my phone and replied the
“Call me when you’re ready to get your
[nextpage title=”episode 3″]
Episode 3

At noon the next day, she called my line.
“You can meet me at Genesis Restaurant
in the next 20mins.” She said.
“I can’t be at Genesis in 20mins!” I
almost shouted on the phone. Who the
fvck did she think she was speaking
with? A bank security man?
“How long will you take to get here?” She
I wanted to tell her she should come get
her card, wanted to take charge and
stress her a bit but somehow, her profile
was starting to intimidate me.
“I don’t know, but I will try and see if I
will get there within the hour.” I said and
she hung up.
Her bluntness was annoying! It will be
pretty nice to see her face and tell her
how rude she’s been to the one person
who found and tried contacting her for
her lost card.
As usual, there was no light in the
house, the laptop battery was drained
and I had nothing doing in this boring
town. So I dressed up and headed to
Genesis, one of the exotic restaurants in
the town.
Inside the car, I was wondering what the
conversation with her would be like. She
might actually change and be
appreciative for once when she sees me.
I was wrong.
As I entered the restaurant, I dialed her
number to inform her I had reached. She
told me she had to run-off to see a
friend and will be back to the restaurant
in no time. I was so angry at myself. I
asked why she didn’t inform me on time
only to realize she had long cut the call.
Well, I’m in it already, I can as well see it
through. I thought to myself.
The attendants at the restaurant
approached me to take an order and I
informed them I was waiting for a guest.
I sat at a corner watching the tv show:
keeping up with the kardeshians. It
suited the moment as I tried to keep up
with this annoying lady who had turned
me into a delivery boy.
Minutes turned to long frustrating hours
before she finally showed. It was easy to
recognize her from the pix I saw earlier.
She was indeed gorgeous: richly dressed
with expensive jewelry adorning her back
neck and wrists. She had opulence
written all over her. I watched her dial
my number and I waved from the corner
with my phone. She moved to my
direction and sat opposite me. I couldn’t
help but notice her sweet fragrance
covered the entire room. She had a tiny
gold nose-ring tucked in her nose.
All of a sudden, I forgot all the rage that
had been boiling inside me all through
the day.
“Hello, sorry for keeping you waiting.”
She announced as she sat with a smile
on her face. She introduced herself and I
did too.
“Why didn’t you drop the card like I
requested?” She queried.
“Because I’m not an errand boy.” I
She smiled, waved at the receptionist
who came towards us.
“What difference did it make bringing it
to the hotel and bringing it here?” She
I told her it felt better handing it over to
“Why? Isn’t it the same thing?” She
pressed further.
“Its not. Now I get to see your face and
you’ll get to thank me in person for my
good deed.” I answered.
“I could have done that over the phone, I
had your number.” She insisted.
I then had to tell her it seemed rude and
unappreciated asking me to drop it off.
“Do you know that if the wrong hands
had picked it up, you would have been
robbed?” I asked, hoping my question
will make her see reason.
“The person will need a password.” She
insisted, trying to play smart.
At that moment, the receptionist came
forward. She asked what I would take
and I informed her. She placed an order
and the receptionist left.
“So you see, its not a big deal since the
person will need a password.” She said.
I thought for a while. She was trying to
make my heroic quest look so common;
like I didn’t have a choice. She was even
smiling at her own wise sense. I had to
spoil the fun for her.
“1-9-7-9” I said.
Her eyes lite in unbelief. She stared at
me for some seconds.
“That’s smart, how did you know that?”
She asked.
Now I was the one having the last laugh.
“Let’s just say I have my ways.” I said,
smiling at her. The look on her face gave
me the satisfaction I needed.
The receptionist brought the drinks and
set them on the desk before us and left.
She took a deep breathe and exhaled.
“All I’m saying is that someone with half
the wits I have could empty your
“How much do you think you could have
withdrawn from the account?” She asked.
“Per day!” She reminded me before I
could alter a word.
I thought about it for a while. She was
right. The daily withdrawal limit was
somewhere within 120k. It was obvious
she wanted to proof her point by making
my sincerity look common.
I decided to indulge her.
“120k” I answered.
She couldn’t help but laugh out loud. It
was obvious she was enjoying the
“After one day’s withdrawal, I will receive
alerts on my phone. Just a phone call
and my account officer will deactivate
the card.” She said with pride.
“120k will still be a big deal.” I said,
trying to get a soft landing.
“I had taken 80k that day. So you’ll be
left with 40k only until I deactivate the
card. What will 40k do for you?” She
I looked silly and it gave her the
satisfaction she had always wanted.
“Well, a simple thank you would still be
okk.” I eventually gave up.
The look on her face was that of
satisfaction. I wished I could smack the
smile off her face. I brought out the card
and handed it to her.
“Thank you.” She finally said.
“How did you know my password?” She
asked again.
“Well, it isn’t rocket science; people
chose passwords they can easily
remember. Its always the easy 1-2-3-4
or the birth year. Mine was a
combination of my birthdate and year.” I
informed her.
“How did you know my birth year?” She
asked again.
I felt uneasy discussing how I had
ransacked her facebook page for the
details. It would be hard to prove I didn’t
have any intention of robbing her after
spending quality time digging up stuff
about her.
“Like I said, I did some digging.” I told
her. She looked impressed.
“You googled my name?” She asked.
“Something like that.” It was obvious she
was beginning to understand how I got
her details. She shook her head lightly
like she disapproved.
“You are smart, and I like smart people.”
She said. “What do you do?” She asked.
I told her a little about myself; enough
not to bore her. She seemed interested in
all I had to stay.
“What else did you find out about me
when you googled?” She asked.
It could have been a trick question so I
thought carefully before answering.
I told her about her beauty salons at
Abuja, her children and her trips. She
didn’t look surprised. She smiled at the
end of it all.
“Where did you stay for your trip at the
United Arab Emirates?” I asked trying to
make the conversation more lively.
“Rotana hotel.” She answered. “Spent 3
weeks there.” She continued.
“Where and where did you visit?” I asked
“Everywhere.” She answered.
“Saw the Burj Arab?” I asked again and
her face lite up once more.
“Yes! Have you been to the Emirate
before?” She asked.
“Yea, took some vacation early this
“Where did you stay?” She asked.
“That dry boring place?” She exclaimed.
She was not wrong; Ajman was one of
the least lively places at the UAE. Aside
the beach, nothing peculiar about it.
Dubai, Sharjah and Abu Dhabi had lots
of fun places.
“Why did you chose Ajman of all
places?” She asked.
“Accommodation was cheaper there.
Moreover, it was just 15dirham from
Ajman to Dubai, so I didn’t miss a
thing.” I replied.
We spent the next 30mins discussing
about the Emirate: all the attracting
tourist centres. She had visited all the
places I had been to and many more.
“Which of the places you visited enticed
you most?” She asked.
“Dubai Mall.” I answered. It was the best
I had seen. One can easily spend the
entire day at the mall without getting
“Then the Burj Arab.” I added. The Burj
Arab hotel was exquisite. Built in the
middle of the water, I was awed at its
She told me of her exquisite stay at the
Emirate. I could relate with all she had
to say. UAE was a fine place no doubt; a
place to enjoy most when you had the
cash the spend. Unfortunately, I didn’t
have much when I went there so I
practically avoided the big places. Had
to settle for clubs and cheap shopping
centres like the Gift shop.
When she was done, I told her of my
adventure with a native girl. It was all I
had to say after listening to long tales of
her shopping experience.
“You fvcked a native?” She asked in
“You would have lost your dckk in the
process!” She exclaimed.
“I love adventures.” I told her with a
“That’s a crime! Not an adventure!” She
was almost screaming and we both
laughed. She was right, Emirati natives
were adored at the UAE. You hardly see
them; the guys much more their ladies.
Anyone I tell the tale of my adventure
with Aisha finds it hard to believe. I find
it hard to believe myself. It was the most
risky adventure I had taken in all my life.
It left a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth
and each time I think of her, I always
yearn to return to the Emirate.
“So you love adventure?” She asked.
“Yes, life will be boring without them.” I
answered, staring her in the eyes.
“I love adventures too, and I like people
who are adventurous too.” She
The receptionists brought the bill and
she prompted to pay with the POS
machine. The receptionist brought the
machine and she brought another atm
card for the payment.
“How many more cards do you have?” I
teased her after she had made the
“Just the two.” She answered with a
smile on her face.
“It would have been better you had just
one.” I said.
She asked why and I told her it would be
better since she was always careless
with cards.
“I run three big shops in Abuja. I have
strings of businesses and contacts all
over the country. No one can take my
dime!” She said categorically.
” I almost took your 40k”. I reminded
“That’s all you could have taken. It will
take a dozen of your kind to take
anything more from me.” She boasted.
I smiled at her. She was so sure of
herself. What a proud arse!
“I have four more days to spend in this
city before I return to Abj; and I want to
spend them with you.” She said
“Why will I spend four days with you” I
“You will have the fun of your life and
will forget all your past adventures.” She
replied with a smile.
I nodded my head with a smile.
She smiled back at me, staring at me
like she was seizing me up.
While her mind was roaming in the
adventure she was going to have in the
next four days, I was calculating how
much I was going to make from her
proud arse in four days time.
Game on!
[nextpage title=”episode 4″]

Episode 4

My first night with the lady was fun.
While she set her heart at adventure, I
had set my heart at both adventure and
crime! She had dared me that a dozen of
my kind couldn’t outsmart her and I was
determined to prove her wrong.
When we left the Genesis, she gave me
her room number once more and asked
me to come-by later in the evening. I
headed to my friend’s place. He was
playing his game when I entered. I
freshened up, spent some time resting
before deciding to head to the
On arrival at the Presidential hotel, we
stayed at the reception hall where we
drank and flirted. She was full of fun and
life! She consumed exotic spirits like a
fish in water while I was cautious of the
level of alcohol I imbibe: didn’t want
some veins down there being dilated and
I end up having a terrible outing when
show time begins.
“You don’t drink much?” She asked when
she noticed I was still struggling with my
“I do.” I answered.
“Are you tensed?” She started probing.
“I’m cool. Tell me about your work.” I
had to change the topic.
She spent the next few minutes telling
me about her beauty spa and how she
runs them effectively. It was obvious she
enjoys what she does and that she was
good at it. She told me how her
company handles costumes for artists,
celebrities and movie industries.
“You should come to Abuja one of these
days.” She concluded.
“Well, not all of us are lucky to have jobs
that give us the time for socializing.” I
answered and she smiled.
I felt like asking her about her family but
decided against it. No need to get
personal and for all I care, I may not be
seeing her again after our short romp.
This is all adventure, and maybe, just
maybe, if I played my cards well, may
end up with something extra.
“I didn’t know you would come.” She
“Just my instincts. Most of the men I
hang out with are always interested in
either money, or connection. None of the
two seemed to interest you.” She
informed me.
She was right. I had contemplated not
honoring the invitation except for my
love for adventures.
“I love adventures.” I reminded her.
“And crime?” She asked sarcastically and
laughed at her own joke.
“Well, a dozen of my kind can’t rob you.”
I reminded her of her comment.
“Yes of course.” She affirmed.
“I’m happy you came, now let’s go have
some adventures.” She said as she stood
and we headed to her room.
The room was exotic, the best I have
been to. The drapes were awesome, the
bed was magnificent; the interior
decoration was superb. They didn’t call
it Presidential Hotel for nothing: it was
worth the hype and name.
She reached for the fridge and brought
out more drinks and poured for herself.
Moments later, she was deeply
engrossed with her phone. I was sure
she would be updating her profiles in the
social media.
When I was done showering, she was
still on her phone. I eased into the bed
and waited.
I must have slept off a bit as when I
opened my eyes, she was in her night
robes, standing over the mirror on the
dressing desk. The light-blue robe did
little to cover any of her rich laps, nor
huge bosom. I could make out all her
curves as she sat facing the mirror.
“You don’t need any make-up for the
night.” I teased and she smiled.
“You’re awake!” She said in an almost
inaudible voice. Moments later, she
joined me on the bed. I didn’t need any
invitation before I moved close to her
and covered her lips in mine. The
popular saying that first impression
mattered was the incentive I needed to
be on my ‘A’ game; else I may just be
cutting shut my four days adventure.
I fondled her bosom lightly as we kissed.
I had this gut feeling she wasn’t a ‘kissy’
kind of lady so I let loose the lips and
tongue and headed to the Tips. They
were strong already and almost as huge
as my thumb. S—–g on them gave me
the reaction I was expecting from her. I
could feel her breathing change slowly. I
reached for her laps and caressed them
slowly as I teased her niplles. She
moved her hands into my briefs and
started handling my dckk. I let her play
with it as I caressed her laps, extending
to her rich and hairy vegee lips which
was already wet. I located the c–t amidst
the thick hairs, placed my thumb on it
and robbed it gently, pressing it against
the rich flesh beside it. My hands were
almost soaked with her wetness and I
knew it was time to give her the fvck she
had been dreaming of. I asked if she had
condoms and she pointed at one of the
enclosures in the bed stand. I wore one.
I patted her legs, moved the robe up to
her belly and gently slid into her.
She was whimpering in my arms. She
was no longer that ‘thick’ lady that
carried herself with charisma and full of
her wits and cash: she was the teenager
overcome with passion and begging me
to fvck her hard; which I did.
I ensured that each t—-t cruises the
walls of her veegee with maximum
friction. I ensured that the velocity ratio
of the trust is greater than the force
ratio so as to have a positive and useful
efficiency. I felt the walls of her veegee
cramp on my dckk as she sunk her nails
in my skin. Knowing she was about to
come, I adjusted my hips to an angle
and got the hit on the center of gravity. I
maintained my steady t—-t on it until
she let out a loud screen as she held me
deep inside her with her hands. I
couldn’t move my hips again as it was
in a lockdown right inside her spread
legs. She moved her a’rse in different
directions within the next 10seconds,
whining and grinding me in the process.
When she was done, she let me go and I
pulled out of her, watching her breathe
like she just completed a marathon.
Minutes later, she reached for my arms
and pulled it over her shoulders,
gesturing me to hold her while she
I obliged and cuddled her as she shut
her eyes. I wasn’t done yet, my hard
dckk was still resting on her buttocks. I
moved my hands slowly across her
shoulders, tickled her Tip and caressed
her buttocks. I reached for the second
condom and wore it. I moved her leg
apart as she lay on her belly, slowly
inserted my dckk once more into her.
The big flesh of the buttocks was big
enough to threaten a perfect t—-t, but I
found ways to navigate my way deep
into her. She moved her hands a bit,
rested her elbows on the bed as she
moved her heads slightly upwards. I held
her raised shoulders like a horse-rider
and rode deep into her. With each t—-t
comes a loud moan as she twist her
hips side to side.
The sounds of ‘yes-yes-yes’ mixed with
the pounding of Unclad flesh filled the
room as I increased the velocity of
t—-t, thereby increasing the impact
force and subsequently the oscillation of
her c–t. She crawled forward like she was
trying to escape from me but I adjusted
my reach and continued the fvck
When I finally came, I was exhausted and
she was whimpering all over the bed. As
I pulled out of her, she relaxed her elbow
on the bed and slept off.
After the sex, she slept off exhausted. I
was exhausted too but I needed some
drinks before I can sleep. Now I can
indulge and imbibe as much alcohol as I
want to; the veins down there can dilate
as much as they want.
I helped myself with one of her exotic
drinks. Sat on the bed and watched her
sleep like a baby. Her phone was
buzzing intermittently. It didn’t border
me one bit as I gulped my drink. When I
lay beside her to sleep, the buzz started
again. I shut my eyes and hoped sleep
will come.
Another buzz. Then again…then I
reached for the phone and pressed a
button and all the lights came on. The
keypad wasn’t locked; there were
notifications of bbm, whatsapp, facebook
mobile, instagram, twitter and others I
didn’t have an idea of. My original
intention was to put the phone in silent
or airplane mode….then an idea struck
I thought about it for a few seconds: I
contemplated on the idea for some time
and realized that the probability of
success was greater than the probability
of failure.
I wore my cloth, reached for her handbag
and took her 2 atm cards together with
the phone and went to the atm corner
inside the hotel.
1-9-7-9 worked for the two cards. I
withdrew 60k from each account. The
alerts came in as soon as each
withdrawal was approved. I deleted the
text messages and headed back to the
hotel room.
[nextpage title=”episode 5″]

Episode 5

We spent the next day indoors, eating,
drinking and fvcking; the only
interruptions were from the cleaners and
room service. By night, while she slept, I
crept out as usual with all the tools and
gadgets needed. I made the full daily
maximum withdrawals on both cards,
cleared my tracks and returned to the
room. She was still sound asleep so I
crept into the bed.
It was obvious that handling the money
was going to be a big challenge. With
over 350k in 500 naira notes, the volume
of cash will easily be noticed. I couldn’t
find a convenient place to hide them
inside the hotel room. I managed to stuff
them inside one of the empty cabinets in
the bathroom. I knew I had to move
them quickly before she finds them, the
more it stayed there, the bigger the odds
of discovery.
The best way was to stuff them in my
pocket, inform her I needed to change
clothes and head home.
My plans failed outrightly!
When I announced to her I’ll be heading
home to change clothes, she said it was
ridiculous since there was a boutique
right inside the hotel. She didn’t see any
sense in moving about just to get wears.
“Moreover, I need you to come with me
as I hang out with my friends today. We
will spend tomorrow indoors like
yesterday and after that, I’ll catch my
morning flight back to Abuja.” She
announced to me. It was obvious there
was no way out of it: she had everything
worked out already.
“Or you can come with my to Abuja.” She
said smiling.
“No, thanks.” I said calmly.
“Why? What are you doing in Ph
Funny question! I should hop into a
plane and join you to Abuja! My taste for
adventure never reach like that abeg!
I thought to myself.
I still needed to get home, spend some of
break there and head back to Lagos to
prepare for work.
“Work!” I answered her.
“But you don’t work in Ph.” She insisted.
“I still need to get back to work after few
days around.” I answered, hoping she
will drop it but the look in her face
suggested she was going to press on.
Her kind doesn’t take no for an answer;
they always believe money solves all
problems and since they have it, all their
quest must be met.
“I will come to Abuja but not now.” I
I guess my reply worked as she relaxed. I
still had to worry about how to move the
wards of cash loaded in the cabinet
inside the bathroom. Just like she read
my thoughts, she moved into the
bathroom at that moment. I sat at the
edge of the bed, hoping for the worst.
Will she find the cash?
My heart kept beating fast! That was the
thrilling thing about adventures; never a
dull moment.
I heard the knock on the hotel door. I
didn’t respond at first. I imagined some
hotel security will be at the door waiting
to pounce on me.
The second knock made me to peep
through the lens on the door. It was the
room cleaner. I opened the door with a
relief smile on my face. She looked with
a confused stare, maybe she felt I was
smiling at her. She happened to be the
same girl that cleaned the room
yesterday. I stepped aside for her as she
moved her trolley inside the room. She
turned and glanced at me again. She
was elegant, neatly dressed in black and
white robes, a crossbelt, white stockings
and black shoes. I didn’t know why I
took interest in the girl but she noticed I
was staring at her. She had a name tag
on her, ‘Eve’.
She moved her trolley towards the
bathroom but stopped midway as she
noticed someone was inside. She decided
to do the room first while she waits for
the bathroom to be free.
I was still expecting a shocker from the
Eve drew the drapes and the room light
“Excuse me, I need to change the
bedsheets.” She said to me with much
professional courtesy. She had a sexy-
husky voice that was unique.
I’m sure they had high standard staff-
training process implemented at the
Hotel. She avoided any direct stares and
went about doing her job like she was
the only person in the room.
I moved and she removed the sheets,
replacing it with the one on the trolley. I
noticed the black carton on her trolley. It
was not more than 50cm lenght and
breath; just the size of a medium
kerosene stove carton.
“What’s your name?” I asked her. She
stood upright, hands akimbo and
mumbled ‘Eve’. I couldn’t help but notice
she was pretty. Inside those school-
uniform-like cloth was a dark full-
breasted girl with straight legs
supporting one of the finest hips I had
seen lately. She returned to doing the
bed after her reply.
“What’s inside the black box?” I asked.
“Toiletries.” She answered. I was still
staring at the box so she reached for it
and opened it for me, like she wanted to
satisfy my curiosity. It contained two
small-sized tissue papers, a medium
sized towel, a face-wipe, soaps, creams,
shower cap, tooth-paste brush and
others. She still held them until I nodded
my head and she closed it and went
back to her duty.
Just then, the lady screamed for me
from the bathroom.
This was it! The moment I prayed never
happened. I can still make it out of the
hotel on time. I imagined her storming
out of the bathroom, half Unclad with
soap foams all over her and I hand full
of 500naira notes demanding for
explanation. Was I going to pull a
‘Shaggy’ on her and say ‘it wasn’t me?’
She called again and all my confused
self could do was stare at the bathroom
door. Eve stood, staring at me, maybe
wondering why I wasn’t answering.
“Yea!” I finally answered.
“Help me call the restaurant and ask
them to bring their menu, I’m starving.”
She voiced from the bathroom.
I was relieved at that. Hasn’t happened
doesn’t still mean it wouldn’t happen. I
picked the intercom and paused, I didn’t
know the code for the restaurant.
“What’s the code for your restaurant?” I
asked Eve.
Once again, she stood upright, hands
akimbo and answered.
I dialed and asked for the menu to be
forwarded to the room.
Looking at the black carton again, I
realized I could use it to stash the cash.
“Don’t dispose the carton when you’re
done.” I told her.
She looked at me confused. I knew she
wanted to question what I needed it for
but I was sure her job training wouldn’t
allow her to. She has been programmed
to behave, talk and act a certain way
with customers.
“Yes sir.” She answered.
Just then, the lady came out of the
bathroom. She was done bathing. Eve
moved into the bathroom. I didn’t care
much if she was or was not going to see
the cash. She wouldn’t say a word if she
happens on it.
She left some minutes later and I went
into the bathroom. The cash was still
intact. I moved them into the carton Eve
left for me on top of the cabinet. Moved
the carton inside the cabinet. The cash
wasn’t entirely hidden and safe there but
seeing a carton of toiletries inside a
bathroom cabinet wouldn’t raise much
Now I could afford to relax a bit.
[nextpage title=”episode 6″]

Episode 6

The social gathering we went to was so
boring I twice caught myself sleeping.
An event organized by some ‘entertainer’
and his team of ‘talented’ comedians;
the Ph invasion. What an invasion
indeed! The only thing they invaded was
the pockets of the many that bought a
ticket to the show. It was as if the
comedians were competing for who
would give the driest joke of the century
and they were good, very good at the dry
jokes. It was more distasteful watching
them laugh at their own jokes; like we
payed money to watch people crack
themselves up and laugh hysterically.
In a roundtable of friends of the lady, I
looked a bit odd. Seemed I was under-
dressed for the occasion; and for good
reason, it was a comedy show. The guys
and ladies in my table were so
gorgeously dressed and annoyingly
laughed at the dry jokes. The lady
‘cougars’ on the table must have taken
the show for a competition of wealth as
shown by their expensive wears and
gadgets in display, coupled with the
exotic drinks they were ordering. I was a
bit uneasy but managed to keep my eyes
Earlier before the show started, the lady
had introduced me to one of her friends
at whose request she had come to ph.
Seems she was the one inviting her to all
the party and hosting her at ph city. The
Ph-city lady was seated close to me at
the round-table, with ‘her man’ at her
left. I couldn’t help but notice she was
checking me out. When I fell asleep the
second time, she was the one that
nudged my palms and got me awake
once more. I excused myself and headed
to the rest room to ease myself and
splash some water on my face.
The stench that hit my nose upon
opening the restroom was terrible. I had
to close the d–n place and head
outside the venue to walk around a bit.
“Hey, you!” I heard behind me and turned
around to meet the ph-city lady smiling
at me.
“Seems you don’t like this event.” She
asked as she approached me.
My initial thought was to pretend
everything was okk and I was just taking
a walk but she had caught me sleeping
“That program is boring!” I had to cave.
She laughed at that. I wonder what was
making her laugh, even at the dry jokes
they were throwing there about fat
“My bad, I invited her to this place.
There was no where else to go and I
promised her I would make her stay in
Ph fun.” She said and I presumed by her,
she meant the lady I came with.
“Are you guys childhood friends or
what?” I asked.
“University roommates.” She answered.
“Been friends right from then.”
Well, a fruit doesn’t fall afar-off from its
tree and since birds of the same feather
flock together, I can as well summarize
that she was into the same kind of
things her ‘roomy’ was.
But her own case was a bit weird as I
noticed her wedding ring intact in her
“She told me you don’t stay in ph.” She
said, staring at my eyes, maybe seeking
“No, I don’t.” I answered.
“Well, if you’re staying longer than she,
you can call on me and I take you
around the city.” She said as she gave
me her business card.
I didn’t border reading it, just slid the
thing into my pocket. If her idea of
showing people around the city was to
bring them to a boring comedian show,
then she needs to have a rethink.
Together, we headed back to our table.
She stopped by to greet some friends
and I joined up with the others at the
After few more hours of dry jokes and
poor rendition of songs, we were finally
freed from the most boring show I’d ever
witnessed. The ph-city lady drove us
with her pajero jeep. We got to the
Presidential and the lady handed the
keys to the room to me, informing me
she will join me in a minute. I guess she
had some stuffs to discuss with her
friend so I left them and walked towards
the receptionist.
Enroute the receptionist, I saw Eve
walking away from the hotel. She was
not dressed in the usual hotel robes. She
wore a light blue jean with a red top, a
face and seem to be heading home, away
from the hotel.
“Hey, you!” I called on her. She stopped
and waited as I approached her.
“Eve?” I called.
“Goodevening sir!” She greeted with the
same sexy-husky voice.
“No need for the sir.” I said and
introduced myself. She looked more
beautiful in her casual wear. I wouldn’t
have recognized her but for her dark face
and lovely features.
“Seems you’re headed home.” I asked.
“Yes, I’m done for the day.” She
answered with a smile, like she was
relieved to be off duty.
“Seems you’re happy going home.” I
wanted to start up a conversation.
“Yes of course.” She said with same
I asked when she will be back for duty
but she informed me she is not permitted
to discuss her work schedule with
customers at the hotel.
“Why do you ask?”
“Just hoped I will see you again. You
can give me your number.” I requested.
“Its not allowed also.” She said.
“I can give you mine.”
“Not allowed too.” She replied and I
“I need to go now.” She announced, told
me goodevening once more and headed
out towards the hotel gate.
I thought about following her outside,
maybe she will grant me audience if we
spoke outside her work environment but
the lady was walking towards me from
the other end so I abandoned the quest.
On arrival into the hotel room, the lady
as usual went to freshen up. When she
was done, I went into the bathroom and
reached for the cabinet. I checked the
box inside the cabinet and it was still
there. I stayed inside the bathroom and
contemplated on how best tom move the
money without being noticed.
There was no way I was going to move it
out without being noticed. I thought
about moving it at night when the lady
was asleep but that would be a very
risky move. The securities scan every
incoming and outgoing car, and trying to
walk out of the hotel gate with a carton
known to contain hotel toiletries may
raise some eyebrows. They may think I
was stealing hotel toiletries and stop me
for a search. I may not even make it to
the gate as their were security guards
posted at different intervals.
Then a thought came to my mind;
She can help me move it! Its a long shot
but one that is worth giving a trial.
But how I was going to achieve this was
what I didn’t know.
What is adventure without risk?
[nextpage title=”episode 7″]

Episode 7

To have the perfect sex, you will need a
relaxed mind. That is why is seems like
rich and comfortable people have the
best sex their body can take.
Having seem to find a solution on
moving the cash, I had a more relaxed
mind for the night’s romp; and boy! It
was hot!
From the moment the lady and I were
both Unclad in the bath-tub inside the
bathroom, I felt the jolts of pleasure as
our Unclad bodies caressed each others.
The hot steamy water was refreshing and
soothing. The tub wasn’t too big to
contain we both but we managed, with
her body resting partially on top of mine,
I got my hands busy, tracing the curves
of her bosom, hips and stomach. I
caressed her bosom slowly, teasing the
hard Tips and caressing her laps.
Soon, my hands found its way into her
inner laps as I teased her c–t and played
with her hairs at the pubic. The sounds
of her moans were a welcome
aphrodisiac as my dckk pushed against
her buttocks. I leaned forward as I
rubbed her c–t, gently inserted my
middle finger into her wet veegee. She
adjusted her hips to accommodate my
finger as I pushed through the rich warm
walls of her veegee. Slowly and steadily,
I fin.ger’ed her as a worked my fingers
across all the bends and folds of her
cvnt. I let my thumb rub her c–t as my
finger explored her insides deeply. I
increased the finge’rin.g pace and
worked her center of gravity real good in
the process. She moaned loudly and
convulsed in my arms as she had her
c—-x. I caressed her slowly, giving her
time to recover.
She turned around and faced me with a
mischievous smile in her face. She
reached for my hard dckk and held it in
her hands. She caressed it slowly at first,
then cupped it in her hands and worked
on it real hard and real good. I closed
my eyes, dropped my head backwards
and allowed the euphoria to overwhelm
me. I jerked my hips involuntarily in
response to the pleasure building inside
of me. She was good at it, giving me the
light squeezes as she worked her hand
down and up my s—t.
She caressed my chest and niple as she
did the hand-job; then moved her hands
to squeeze the balls lightly, sending a
mixture of pain and pleasure down my
spine. I jerked again as she increased
the pace, wetting her hands with the
soap-leather on the tub. Then again and
again, she worked it faster as I jerked my
hips forward and sideways in response.
She noticed the moment when I was
about to come and increased the pace. I
groaned as I spilled the come
everywhere. She continued her
mischievous smiles while I kept my eyes
shut, trying to recover from the ordeal.
Moments later, we caressed each other
until I was ready again. She squatted a
bit while I positioned myself behind her
inside the tub.
“Wait!” She whispered before I could
“Condom?” I asked knowing it was the
reason she asked to wait and she
“Yes, open the cabinet there.” She said,
pointing at the cabinet where I stashed
the cash.
My heart skipped. I moved towards the
cabinet before she sees the look of
despair in my face. The short distance
from the tub to the cabinet seemed like
the longest walk I had taken. It would
have been easier crossing the red sea by
foot. A lot of thoughts crossed through
my mind but before I could process it, I
was close to the cabinet, facing it
already. I moved to open the one below
it but she voiced from behind.
“No, the one above!”
Now it was obvious I was going to have
a long night!
[nextpage title=”episode 8″]

Episode 8

I guessed I was in for a long night!
Might as well start confessing my crimes
to her. She didn’t look like the forgiving
type; something I had learnt about easy
going peeps: they tend to not-forgive.
Had she seen the cash earlier? Was she
trying to taunt me? Was she trying to
rub it on my face, to have the last
laugh? A lot of questions popped up
with no answers. I was still standing in
front of the cabinet stark Unclad, staring
at the doors like there was a python
waiting to strike if I dared open it.
How I wish there was a python there! I
thought to myself. At least the
emergence of a python will have us
scamp from the bathroom and save the
day for me.
“Check the carton inside the cabinet!”
She called out again from behind.
Now it was obvious I was done for. I
might as well pretend to have seen a
python and run-off the room. That would
be an epic-fail to my quest for
adventure! I had to think or act fast.
I opened the cabinet slowly; peeped
inside and saw the carton inside. I knew
what was inside; it was loads of 500
naira bills I had stashed out, not
toiletries and condoms.
I decided to let it play out and see where
it ends.
I slowly dragged the carton to the
opened cabinet door so she can see it
from where she was seated at the tub. I
opened it and looked inside knowinging
fully well she couldn’t see the insides
from where she was.
“There’s no condom here!” I pronounced,
closed it and left it still at the opened
door of the cabinet.
“Really?” She asked. I didn’t turn to look
at her face; I didn’t trust the look on my
own face and I may end up betraying
myself from the look on my face.
“No!” I said.
Then I went on to open other cabinets
inside the bathroom until I found the
new set that was brought that morning. I
opened it and found the condom inside.
“Here it is!” I announced, waving a
bundle of condoms at her. She didn’t
look satisfied. She still had that
mischievous smile on her face. I
approached her at the tub and noticed
she still stole an occasional glance at
the carton of cash behind me.
My dckk was flaccid when I joined her at
the tub. A disturbed mind is a recipe to
failure at sex. I had to work extra hard
to get it up and get turned on. At a
point, it was as if I wasn’t going to be
able to keep it up but I kept working on
my game until I had it up. When I was
ready, I wore the condom and we
continued from where we stopped; only
that this time, it wasn’t as hot as it was
supposed to be.
When we were done, I stayed back and
told her I needed to shower before
joining her at the bed. She looked at me
like she had something to say but went
inside without saying a word.
I turned on the shower and reminisced
inside the tub as warm water sprinkled
on my body. I thought about the events
of the past hour.
I still didn’t understand fully what had
transpired but my mind gave me two
versions of what I felt happened: she
must have seen the carton sometime
and feel it was the usual hotel stuffs
inside it. Or had she opened it and saw
cash inside? Was she trying to know
where the cash came from by indirectly
showing it to me? If that was the case,
then it means I had indirectly confirmed
to her that I know about the cash. I
silently prayed that version 1 was what
had happened and she wasn’t aware of
what was inside the carton. But my
instincts told me otherwise.
There was little or nothing I could do at
the moment. I walked out of the tub and
moved towards the cabinet with the
cash. The cabinet on the wall had four
cardboards, one of the cardboards had a
transparent glass on it. The other
opposite wall had a cabinet with just 2
cardboards. It was inside one of the
cardboards that I had seen the other
carton with the condom. The mirror on
the wall of the bathroom had yet another
cardboard beneath it.
I brought out the carton with the cash,
opened it and took a look at the cash. It
was still intact. Loose bundles of 500
notes occupying almost half of the
I moved the carton with cash into the
cardboard under the mirror. I removed
all the condoms in the other carton and
placed the carton in the cabinet where
the cash-carton was. Relieved at my
temporary solution, I walked out of the
She was fast asleep when I entered the
room. It was still few hours to midnight.
I lay on the bed, staring at the walls. I
needed a solution to move the money
and each time I thought about it, the
name ‘Eve’ pops up. The lady was still
asleep and there was no need to wake
her up. Again, I reached for the handbag,
took the cards and the phone lying on
the bed and went out of the room.
The clock hanging at the reception read
10:55pm. The reception hall was still
filled with people; drinking, eating and
talking. I looked around in search for
Eve. How was I going to find her at this
big hotel! I needed to ask questions so I
went to the young man manning one of
the mini-bars at the reception.
“How’s the night going?” I asked with a
“Fine sire! What will you be drinking sir?”
He asked elegantly with a smile on his
“Hmmm…” I stared confused at the
richly stocked bar.
“Recommend one for me.” I said.
He looked around, then smiled as her
reached for one of the spirits at the bar
and poured a class for me.
He stayed back and watched my face as
I swallowed a mouthful.
It was bad! So bad I found it hard to
swallow. Spirits wasn’t my brand; hated
the d–n thing like a february curse but
I managed to smile back at him.
“Good!” I proclaimed! “Real good.”
“I knew you would love it.” He teased.
I managed to take another gulp. I
wanted him to feel I was his kind, a jolly
good fellow. I needed to ask him a favor.
“Where can I see Eve?” I asked.
The expression on his face changed like
he was shocked.
“You know her?” He asked.
“Yes, she’s been cleaning my room for
some days now.” I said. When the
expression didn’t change, I had to make
him relax a bit.
“She’s very diligent in her work and I like
her person. Want to say goodbye and
tell her thank you before leaving
tomorrow.” I added.
He relaxed his looks and smiled at me.
Maybe he had thought I wanted to make
an official complaints or something.
“She works the east blocks and I’m sure
she’s on duty because I’ve seen her
earlier.” He said.
“East blocks?” I asked.
“Yes, the rooms that way.” He said,
pointing towards a part of the hotel.
“If she’s on duty, she will be at the staff
common room down there.” He said.
“I can reach her on the intercom if you
want.” He volunteered.
“No need for that, I will find my way to
her.” I replied.
That was a lot of useful information. I
thanked him, payed for the drink, tipped
him some money and walked out.
“Your drink!” He called at me as I was
making a move towards the east-side.
“I hate spirits!” I said and watched the
look on his face change to its default
[nextpage title=”episode 9″]

Episode 9

I moved towards the east wing of the
hotel. I kept walking around like a lost
customer until I saw a map on the wall,
indicating I was heading to a restricted
area for hotel staff only. The end of the
passage showed another section of the
hotel marked out of bounds. The info on
the wall indicated it was the Laundry
room, kitchen and common room.
I could hear some noise and clattering of
plates from the kitchen; and more
laughters coming from another part of
the condoned area. I sat on the chair
inside the corridor and waited.
I didn’t wait long until someone came
out of the restricted area. She was
surprised as she stopped abruptly in
front of me.
“Sir, this is a restricted area.” She said.
“Sorry, but I want to see Eve.” I said,
wondering if I would have to tell another
lie before I will see her.
“Eve?” She asked.
“Is anything the problem?” She quizzed
me once more.
Well, she was a girl and would
understand a guy would do insane
things for a girl he’s lusting after so I
played the love-struck card.
“I know this is against hotel rules but I
need to see her and tell her some things
that is burning inside me.” I said.
She looked at me like she was beginning
to understand.
“Are you lodged here sir?” She asked.
“Yes, saw her once at the hotel entrance
and can’t take my mind off her since
“Please just tell her I’m waiting for her
here.” I said.
She stared at me for some few seconds.
“Stay here.” She finally said as she
turned back towards the restricted area.
Moments later, one of the attendants
walked past me. I knew she was staring
at me but maintained an innocent face.
She got to the end of the corridor, turned
and went back to the restricted area.
Noah had to send a raven and a dove
after the flood to make sure the coast
was clear before exiting the ark. The
raven had come, I was expecting the
Eve came herself. I stood as she walked
across to where I was seated. She was
wearing her duty rope, still as beautiful
and charming as ever.
“Its you again!” She proclaimed as she
got close enough.
“You will end up getting me sacked!” She
said with a firm voice.
“I’m sorry, but I needed to see you.” I
“What for?” She queried.
Then the ‘dove’ came out; another
attendant walking towards us, staring at
us as she walked past. I waited until she
got to the end of the corridor, turned and
walked past us again into the restricted
“Is there someplace else we can stay and
talk apart from this place?” I asked.
She looked at me like she was getting
soft: maybe she believed the tale the
other attendant told her, maybe she
believed I was there because I was really
tripping for her.
Or was I?
I didn’t have the luxury of dueling on
both at the same time but if I needed
that favor from her, I need to make her
believe I was seriously into her.
“Just give me some minutes, is that too
much to ask for?” I continued.
She looked at her wrist watch and back
to me. It was obvious she was uneasy
where we both were.
“I will be free from nights duty in the
next 10mins, wait for me at the lawn-
tennis court” She said.
“Were is that?” I asked.
She smiled at me.
“If you want to see me like you said, you
will find the place.” She said and walked
Just then, the next attendant walked
towards us. This isn’t a dove or raven
again; I’m sure the parrots have started
looking for gossip to repeat.
I took my leave before the ‘parrot’ could
come closer.
I went to the atm machine for the
withdrawals. The machine was paying
1000 naira bills so I decided to make the
full daily withdrawal of 120k on each
account. Two bundles and half was a lot
more comfortable in my pocket, although
the bulge would be obvious to someone
who would look closely enough. I deleted
the messages and left the machine.
I asked one of the attendants where the
court was and was directed to the
courts. It was deserted and only a few
people sat at a corner, smoking and
drinking. I sat and waited patiently.
When she came, she had removed her
work cloth and wore her casual wears.
“You found the place?” She teased as
she came to where I was seated.
“You need to see the stress I went to
before finally discovering this place.” I
joked and she laughed.
“You’ve given my colleagues something
to talk about for the rest of the year.”
She said.
I knew that was why the raven, dove and
parrot kept hovering over me. They
wanted to see this ‘love-struck’ guy
“How did you find me?” She asked.
“I asked around. I really needed to see
you.” I answered. She was staring at me.
I knew she had lots of questions in her
mind: especially the fact I was fvcking
an elder lady inside the hotel room.
“When I am done with this fake life I am
in, I need something real…as real as
you.” I said to her.
“And when will you be done with the fake
life?” She asked.
“Tomorrow, I get to enjoy the last of the
fake life. After that, the fake life will be
gone and I will be as fresh as new.”
She stared at me like it was hard to
“I want you Eve.” I said to her and
caught her blush.
“Why are you living the fake life if you
know you wanted something real?” She
asked, still eager to discuss the lady.
“They say when the desirable is not
available, the available seem desirable.
But right now, the available has led me
to the desirable and I’m certain I don’t
need the fake again.”
“I want you Eve!” I said again. She
looked away, like she was meditating on
the entire scenario.
I moved closer to her and held her
“Don’t let me continue with the fake life.”
I said with a pleading tone in my voice.
Even I was impressed by my show! Been
long I ‘toasted’ a girl and I was
beginning to feel I was out-of-game until
this night. It was obviously working.
“I don’t know.” She said.
“I know its quite a lot to take in at the
moment but I’ve thought about it myself
and I’m convinced it is you I want.”
“How are you so sure?” She asked.
O’boy! This was going to take longer
than I had anticipated. Seems I was
really out-of-the game like I had
“Because I won’t be doing this if I wasn’t
sure! I wouldn’t be risking a fake life for
a new one if I wasn’t sure.” I said.
“Its you Eve, its you!” I tried to assure
“You need to purge yourself of the old
fake life first before the new life you
seek. After that, we can see how it
goes.” She said.
“Does it mean you’re willing to give it a
trial?” I asked with a fake smile on my
She smiled back at me. “I said we will
see how it goes.” She replied still
I reached over and kissed her lightly on
the lips. “I will be cleansed of the fake
life, and I will come for you.” I said.
“That’s better.” She concurred.
I stood and made to leave.
“I wish I can spend the night with you
here, but my old fake life needs to be
sorted out once and for all.” I said.
She looked up at me like she was sad I
was leaving. After a split second, I sat
down back.
“There’s something that tied me to the
fake life and I need you to help me break
it.” I said.
“What is that?” She asked with eyes lite
up, like she was willing to help out free
me from the old life.
“Do you trust me?” I asked.
“I believe you’re honest.” She said.
“I already took this decision the morning
you came to clean the room.” I said to
“Remember the morning I asked you to
leave one of the toiletry carton for me?” I
asked her.
“Yes, and I thought you were crazy.” She
answered with a smile on her face.
“That was when I decided I was going to
end the fake life. I have placed every
bloody thing that makes me want to
continue the old life inside that carton.”
I said.
“Really? What did you do with the
carton?” She asked.
“No, not yet. Its in the bathroom, and I
want to get rid of it.” I said.
“That’s simple, throw them into the trash
can.” She said, smiling like she just
solved the world’s biggest crime.
“Not that simple.” I said.
“Why?” She asked.
“Do you know why people burn stuffs on
31st night?” I asked her.
“Yes, to chase the old year away and
usher the new year.” She answered.
“Yes, you are right. It is believed that
when you burn stuffs, you burn away
stuffs you don’t need in the new year.
Since most of those stuffs aren’t
physical, you end up burning anything
physical and hope the flames still
consume the failures and
disappointments of the previous year.” I
informed her.
She paused and thought about it, like I
was beginning to make sense.
“So you want to burn away the stuffs?”
She asked.
“Yes. Tomorrow is 30th, that’s the last of
my fake life. By 31st mid-night, I will be
burning that carton with everything
inside it and I want you to be there with
me when I burn it.” I told her.
“Wow! That’s great, I’m not going to be
on duty by 31st night.” She announced
to me with excitement in her voice.
“Great! So we will burn my old and fake
life on 31st night, and usher in a brand
new life together with you for the new
year!” I proclaimed and she laughed out
“What exactly is inside the carton you
are burning?” She asked after the
excitement had died down.
“Stuffs I’m not proud of; some gifts I got
courtesy of my old life; some intimate
stuffs I’m not really… proud…proud of.” I
said, breaking my voice like I was sober.
She nodded her head like she
understood; or she didn’t want to probe
further maybe not to hurt me.
“I need you to help me evacuate it from
the bathroom of the hotel room.” I said
to her. She stared at me confused so I
had to persuade her.
“After tomorrow, I will be leaving the fake
and old life and won’t have access to
that room again, I need you to help me
move it before then.” I said and prayed
she sees a meaning to the explanation.
“I’m not on duty at that part of the hotel
tomorrow.” She said.
“You can swap with whoever is on duty
there; is that not allowed here?” I asked.
“It is, I just have to find out who is on
duty.” She said.
“Thank you very much. The carton is
inside the drawer at the bathroom.” I
She stared at me like she was thinking it
through once more.
“Help me burn my old and fake life away,
please.” I pleaded, putting on a
charming and innocent face.
“Of course we will burn it together.” She
“And please, the content is embarrassing
to me; promise me you won’t open it
until we burn it together.” I asked.
“I won’t.” She said innocently.
I bent over and kissed her. This time
around, she responded. We kissed for
some minutes before we broke away from
each other.
“I have to go back to the fake life for
now.” I said as I saw the look of
emotions in her eyes.
“One more day!” I said, with my left hand
on my chest and my right hand raised
up like I was swearing an oath.
She smiled and responded.
“One more day.”
We exchanged numbers and I returned to
the room; only to meet the widely awake
lady in the room, staring at me and her
phone in my hand.
[nextpage title=”episode 10″]

Episode 10
With phone in my hand, ATM card and
cash in my pocket I stood like a
condemned criminal, tied on a stake
awaiting a command for the soldiers in
waiting to riddle his body with bullets.
I stared at her blankly as she stared
back at her phone in my arms. What was
I going to say I was doing with her
phone? Did she notice the missing atm
card also? Was this the end of my end of
year adventure? I took a quick glance at
her handbag lying carelessly open at the
floor. It looked exactly like I left it.
Then her phone rang in my hand. I still
held on to it while it rang.
“Where did you go with my phone?!” She
queried as she sprang up to recover her
phone from me. I handed it to her and
made to explain but it was obvious she
was not interested in my explanation.
She had picked the call already and
started talking on the phone.
“Hey babe!” She continued. “Missing
“Don’t worry dear, I will be back
tomorrow…how is aunty Dee?…”
I concluded she was speaking with her
daughter. She was so engrossed with the
call and didn’t notice when I moved and
sat at the other end of the bed close to
the bag. I replaced the atm inside the
side-zip of the bag and headed into the
I moved to the cabinet and brought out
the carton. I opened it and saw rolls of
tissue paper, tubes of cream, light make-
up, soaps and the other usual things
stuffs inside.
My first thought was that she had
offloaded the cash and replaced it with
the toiletries.
Then I remembered I had switched the
cartons and moved the cash carton to
the drawer of the wall mirror. I smiled at
myself, relieved that the cash was still
I brought out the cash-carton and
opened it. The wards of cash were still
intact. I added the night’s withdrawal
into the carton and closed it; this time
around, I folded the edges in my bid to
seal it. It looked good.
“Where did you go with my phone?” The
lady asked after receiving her call.
I told her my phone’s battery had died
down since I didn’t come with my
charger so I used her phone to check my
She stared at me for some seconds like
she didn’t believe me.
“Outside?” She asked.
“Yes, I needed a drink so I went to the
reception hall.”
She stared at the phone on the bed and
back to me.
“Was that your daughter?” I had decided
not to ask personal question but right
now, anything to end this heated
interrogation was a welcome
“Yes!” She answered with an excited
“She’s missing her mama and her aunty
Dee doesn’t let her watch the tv.” She
said with another douse of excitement
like she was really thrilled.
“Can I see her pictures?” I asked and she
waved that I come closer.
I lay beside her on the bed as she
scrolled through her media files.
Unending pictures of she and her
beautiful daughter. At first I pretended to
be interested in the pix but it later
caught my attention. They were lovely
pix, exhibition of the undying bond
between mother and daughter.
“Her name is Mimi” she informed me.
“Lovely name.” I added.
“She’s adorable, intelligent, smart and
full of life.” She continued.
“My friend seem to be interested in you.”
She announced to me, referring to her
ph-city lady.
“I have my good charms.” I teased and
she smiled.
“She love adventures too.” She said.
“Are you advertising your friend to me?” I
teased again trying not to make the
conversation serious. I came for
adventure and not to be passed on like a
“You don’t like her?” She asked.
“She’s married, I don’t do married
ladies.” I answered, hoping it will end the
“And me?” She asked.
“What about you? You’re not married are
you?” I asked, making a surprise face.
“Babies don’t fall down from heaven, do
they?” She asked.
I looked at her face and she feigned
seriousness; then burst out in laughter. I
was still confused at what was making
her laugh.
“You need to see the look on your face,
like you just ate poo!” She said and I
“You’re not married, are you?” I asked.
“Does that change anything?” She
I felt she wasn’t ready to answer my
question so I let it be.
We had few more rounds of sex before
retiring for the night.
In the morning, I kept my fingers
crossed, hoping and praying that Eve
succeeded in swapping duties and takes
care of the carton for good. There was
over half a million naira already inside
the carton.
Then she came in. I had to hide the
excitement in my face before I betray our
little plan. She came in with her trolley
as usual and headed straight to the
bathroom. The lady and I were still on
top of the bed; she surfing her phone
while I waited.
Moments later, Eve moved out from the
bathroom with the trolley. She did some
little work in the room, dropped fresh
bedsheets and left.
My half a million naira finally moved to
Or so I thought!
[nextpage title=”episode 11″]

Episode 11

My mind was a lot settled having solved
the riddle of the carton-cash. I had a
more fulfilled day with the lady. When it
got boring sitting indoors and fvcking,
she asked that we go shopping so she
gets stuffs she’ll be going back to Abj
with. I obliged and we spent the next few
hours shopping.
Later in the night, we headed to the
cinema to see the Exodus: Lords and
Kings. Having watched the trailer
sometime ago, I was full of expectations
but got disappointed after seeing the
movie; wasn’t as hot as I had hoped
from the trailer.
“Make this night special for me.” She
whispered into my ears as we set in for
her final night. She had already informed
her ph-city friend to come pick her up for
the airport the next morning.
I made the night special for her, giving
her a special sex she would not forget in
a hurry. The bed seemed too small to
contain her as I patted her legs and
buried my tongue in between them. I did
a special tongue-cleansing session for
her c–t and had her clutching to the
sheets to keep her from falling off the
edge of the bed. It was like controlling a
big ship using ‘the small tongue’. She
responded to every tickle I gave her c–t
with such passion. I started
manipulation and licking her
simultaneously and she moaned loudly
at the double waves of pleasure hitting
her. Moments later, she was filling my
hands with her c-m. I let her relax a bit
as I cuddled her, then we started rounds
of hardcore sex which lasted us through
the night. When we finally got through, I
couldn’t keep my eyelids open. I was
drained physically, mentally and maybe
spiritually! She was saying something
about early in the morning but I didn’t
pay much attention. I slept off.
I was woken up the next morning to the
sounds of clatter of water in the
bathroom. Moments later, the lady
rushed out of the bathroom and started
“My friend is waiting downstairs.” She
announced as she saw me awake. I must
have slept deep into the morning. She
was already dressing and staring at me
on the bed.
“I had a lovely stay.” She said.
“Good, I had my fair of adventure too.” I
replied; I wanted to add ‘and crime’ but
swallowed the thought. No need
counting my chics yet until they hatch;
and right now, they are being incubated
inside a safe carton somewhere. The
thought of the over half a million cash
inside the carton thrilled me once more.
What if Eve opens the carton and sees
the cash? Will she freak out? Will she
figure out I just robbed an innocent
lady? What if she ran-off with the cash?
She didn’t look like the crime type, nor
the adventure type either. Looks a lot
innocent and naïve. But we all know
looks can be quite deceptive. I prayed for
the best; expecting the worst.
“Thanks for everything, and I will be
expecting you in Abj pretty soon.” The
lady interrupted my thoughts, bent over
and pecked my chics.
“And please, feel free to fvck my friend if
she looks your way again.” She added
with a laugh.
“I’ll pass, no married women!” I insisted.
As a rule of thumb, I had decided long
ago to stay-off married women. I had a
terrible adventure that went bad; and
when I thought it was bad enough, it got
Anyway, a liar and a killer still ends up
as sinners; so it shouldn’t be a plus for
me; but the wahala isn’t one I can bear
“Dress up, we have to run along. I need
to check out and sort my bills.” She said
to me as she reached for her bags.
“Am I going with you?” I asked.
“Don’t you want to?” She asked.
I would have loved to find Eve
immediately but decided to see her off to
the airport first. No need for rush. Just
as we were about to leave the room, the
hotel staff to clean our room that
morning entered with her usual trolley.
She dressed just like Eve; same robes,
same courtesy, just a difference in name.
She had Emily as her name tag.
I joined the lady and the ph-city lady to
the airport. We waited until she sorted
out her ticket before leaving. It was a
silent drive back to ph city from the
airport. The lady asked that we hook up
later that evening but I told her I love
spending my 31st night at the church. It
was the perfect excuse to get her off my
tail. She dropped me off at my friend’s
By 10pm when I knew Eva would be
done for her duty that day, I called her
up. She was sounding tired when she
picked the call. She informed me she had
just finished a tedious 18hr long duty
and needed to sleep.
“Can we see tomorrow morning?” She
“No dear, remember the 31st night
ritual?” I asked, hoping she will see
enough reason to bring my carton.
“Oh that! I will burn it for you then.” She
[nextpage title=”episode 12 the last”]

Episode 12

Burn what!
Did she just say she will help me burn a
box of half a million naira?!?!
“No, you can’t do that!” I exclaimed over
the phone.
“Why? You asked me to help you burn
your old fake life, isn’t it what this is
about?” She asked surprised.
“I know, but I need to do this myself.” I
had to be careful not to make her
suspicious; that is if she wasn’t
suspicious already.
“So tell me about your day.” I said,
trying to warm her up a bit. I listened as
she talked endlessly about how hectic
her day was. I feigned interest and
endured through it all.
“You need to rest; we will hook up later
tonight.” I said and she agreed.
An hour later, she called to inform me
there had been some developments. She
said a colleague of hers just reported
sick and their supervisor was trying to
swap her to do the duty. She sounded
very angry, saying she was sure the
colleague lied about her health and that
she was sure she’s faking it all.
I felt it was going to be impossible to
see her that 31st night. I had almost
given up but an hour and half later she
called and informed me she was done
with her duty and was about leaving the
hotel. I was too delighted to ask how she
managed to pull it off but instead,
prepared to meet her.
We were to meet at an eatery close to
my place. I chose the eatery as a matter
of convenience. I still hadn’t drawn up a
plan yet on how to convince her we
shouldn’t burn the carton. What would
be her reaction when she sees the
contents? Was I even going to allow her
see it? Seeingt i would be absurd. I
decided to let the events take care of
themselves; one thing was sure: no one
is going to burn my half a million “hard-
earned” money!
It didn’t take her long to locate the
eatery. She looked exhausted and I had
this feeling she was struggling to stay
focused. She carried a fancy polythene
bag with contents of what I presumed to
be the carton. I was delighted.
“how do you do?” I asked as we settled,
trying to hide my excitement on the
baggage she was carrying.
“Tired! Exhausted!” she exclaimed. Then
went on and on about how the hotel was
filled to capacity and everyone had to be
on their toes to attend to them and do
their job.
“Only for that silly Emily to claim she
was sick and head home!” she added.
“Emily?” I asked. The name rang a bell. I
was sure I had seen one of the
attendants with that name tag; either
the dove, raven or parrot.
“Yes! She was fine in the morning, only
to come back from room-cleaning and
lie that she was feeling sick and needed
to go.” She continued.
It was obvious she needed someone to
talk to and let off the steam, so I
listened to her boring tale with patience.
“I too told them I was on medication and
couldn’t work more than 12 hours!” she
informed me with a smile like she was
proud of her desceptive bravery. I guess
that was how she was able to convince
them to let her go.
I asked what she would take but she
declined; like she wanted to get it over
with and head home.
“I can do this alone by myself if you’re
too tired.” I asked, hoping she would
hand over the baggage and head home.
She stared at the baggage, stared at me,
and back to the baggage like she was
“No, I promised to be there with you
when you burn the old life, we’ll do this
together.” She said. “Moreover, I will love
to see what is inside the bag.” She
added like an afterthought.
“Alright then, lets go.” I stood and we
left the restaurant.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“My place isn’t far from here.” I replied.
My friend had gone for the all night in
his church. If I play my cards right, I
may just have the best of the out-going
2014; half a million cash and a lovely
ar’se to rock.
She threw her exhausted self on the bed
as we got into the house, exposing a
huge part of her laps in the process.
Then she rolled on the bed to face me.
“Are you done with the old fake life
now?” she asked.
“Yes, old things have passed away, all
things are become new.” I replied and
she smiled.
“Tell me more about yourself.” She
requested. Here was I, thinking she was
d–n too tired to maintain a stare. I
told her bits about myself, skipping a
whole lot of details. By the time I was
done, her head was resting on my
shoulders on the bed.
I didn’t need any other invitation before I
started caressing her. Without any
hesitations coming from her, I took that
as consent and probed further. Bleep
[Details coming up later…]
“Can I use the bathroom?” She asked
after we were done having wild sex.
“Of course.” I replied and she left for the
This was the opportunity I had been
waiting for me. It will take her minimum
of 120seconds to finish whatever she
wanted to do at the bathroom. It will
give me the needed time to offload the
cash inside the carton and fill the carton
with my briefs, pants, singlets and any
other thing I could lay my hand on.
I moved fast; reached for the nylon bag,
opened it and brought out the carton. I
rushed to the wardrobe and brought out
two singlets, I couldn’t see my briefs so I
used my friend’s boxers and few other
things my hands could reach. I placed
them on the bed beside the carton.
There was no sign of her coming out so I
took my time. Took a deep breath and
relaxed. Moment of truth. I felt my heart
beat faster. I was really excited. I could
easily think about a whole lot of things
to do with half a million naira. I
marveled at my exploits. Adventure is
fun; adventure with a bit of crime is the
big deal. I smiled at myself and assured
myself I was going to write a story about
this. I could imagine lots of people
reading and smiling at the adventure
and exploits. It would make a good read.
I thought about the title I could give it; I
could title it Adventures at Hotel
Presidential; or PH Adventure; I decided
that whatever the title would be, it will
be a great read. But it needed an ending,
and the ending was inside the carton on
top of the bed. Half a million naira
waiting to be opened.
Then I proceeded to open it.
I loosened the ends and opened the cap
of the carton. Inside the dimly light
room, I overturned the carton, emptying
all its contents ontop of the bed.
What I saw gave me the shock of the
I kept staring at it like it was hard to
believe. Of course it was not hard to
believe; I had seen those contents before.
I was still in a state of shock and
What happened?
Why this?
What went wrong?
A lot of questions rushed through my
mind of which the answers I couldn’t
tell. Only one person has the answers to
the question.
The sound from the toilet indicated it
was just flushed. I moved my gaze from
the bed and its unsatisfactory contents
towards the toilet door, waiting for it to
open. My answers are definitely going to
come from Eve. She has a lot of
explaining to do.
“Are you ready?” she asked as she
walked into the room.
She maintained her stare at me while I
looked away and focused at the contents
on the bed.
“Are those…did you just bring those out
from the carton?” she asked almost
exclaiming. I took some time to study
her face; it showed sign of genuine
surprise. Was she faking it? Was she
totally ignorant?
“Did you make me steal these from the
hotel room and have me carry it all
day?” she asked again, with a look of
disappointment written all over her face.
I was tempted to believe her but decided
not to be naïve. Girls can be deceptive;
who knows if she was feigning it all.
“This was not what I asked you to
bring!” I said firmly, trying so hard to
control the anger and disappointment
brewing inside me.
“What!” she asked.
“What do you mean?” She asked again.
I stared at her face for some more
seconds then slumped on the bed.
“Is this what you brought out from the
bathroom?” I asked, hoping to hear a
different response but knowing deep
down in my hear that the answer will not
Scattered all over my bed, were the
contents of a hotel issued toiletry; 2
pieces of tissue paper, tubes of cream,
liquid soap, shower-cap, face-towel,
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