[STORY] Beware of what you eat – Season 1 (Episode 1 – 7)

episode 1

My ears picked up the sound of the alarm clock on my phone. I felt betrayed. Why in God’s name would my ears have done that- distracting me from a wonderful experience I was having in dream land?

I am one of those lovers of food. We seemed to have a special connection- food and I. I would eat at any opportunity even to the point of eating in my dreams. And that was what I was doing before my betrayer of an alarm messed up the whole thing.

Maybe I should give you a glimpse of the dream I was having. I found myself seated before a delightful looking egusi soup and pounded yam in an exquisitely furnished restaurant. The aroma of the food wafted into my nostrils. Such aroma could bring a dead man back to life. I had just murmured a very short prayer with my eyes open and my mouth salivating and very ready to begin the business of leveling the mountain before me and then, this annoying alarm rang, and my ears that would not stay put in its environment decided to pick up the sound from outside the dream land.

I turned to my left hand side with the plan to put the alarm to snooze mode, and almost immediately, I remembered that I was supposed to be at the office by 7:30AM. I frowned at the screen of my phone, I reached for my singlet to wear and then whispered some prayers before going to the bathroom for clean up.

Moments later, I was standing at my junction to wave down a bike. A young Hausa fellow stopped in front of me, after negotiating the fare, I boarded to my office. This day better be a good one, I thought as I looked at my wrist watch. It was 7:15AM. I hated near syndrome. I was near eating such a delicious meal which I had not had for a long while because I simply could not afford it, and then I awoke. Almost but without it. That was bad.

Just as soon as I got down from the bike after reaching my destination and paying the bike man, as I was just turning, I felt my legs wet. An arrogant and terribly annoying person driving and blasting music loudly had just splashed me muddy water. And he did not even stop. I felt like having combined super human powers of Flash and Superman (Clark Kent), to go after him and pull him out of his car and punch him severally and then drag him out and soak him in the mud.

I pulled out my handkerchief, wiped off some of the mud water and then headed to the office to register and also use the rest room to do more wiping. Just as I was about to walk in, something semi solid fell on my white shirt.

What?, I groaned. A bird’s feaces? I turned my face up and the bird was busy singing away as it flew. I cursed under my breath, what is all these? Are these series of unfortunate events? Starting from the uncompleted dream, to the splashing of mud on my trouser and then a bird’s feaces on my shirt?

I spent some time in the bathroom to clean myself, after I had registered my name. As if these events that have produced the feeling of anger in me had not had enough, another one happened.

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